[Gemini54]

Because they want to keep it to themselves?
Because they want to keep you guessing?
Because they don't know?

Women are not all the same - who knows, it depends on the situation and on the woman.

[i go 18dumby]

Oh so should I keep asking what's wrong? because it seems like they get mad also if I don't keep asken I don't want it to look like I don't care

[Gemini54]

Look, if this is about you, and something is wrong with your GF and she won't tell you, then stop asking. You'll know soon enough.

[I wish]

1) If you want to show that you care, then simply ask: "How are you?" If they answer with something negative, then say: "What's wrong?"

a) If they want you to know, they will tell you.

b) If they choose to keep it to themselves, then respect their wishes, regardless of what their reason is.

2) If they want to tell you something, but need you to push them first, then they are playing mind games and that's a sign of immaturity. In which case, you either play their game or walk away.

How do we know when scenario 2) occurs? I have no idea because I can't read their minds. So on the safe side, I would stick with scenario 1).

[Homegirl 50]

When you ask what's wrong and she does not tell you, then say "when you're ready to talk about it, I'm here"
That puts the ball in her court.

[ZoeMarie]

I'm with homegirl. I cannot tell you how upset I get when I'm already upset about something and get asked continuously "what's wrong?" When I'm ready to talk about it/have found the right words, etc, then I will.

[talaniman]

Some people don't know how to express their feelings, or are afraid too.

[Gemini54]

But. And this is a very big but. If this is the GF that's in your other threads, then there are multiple issues involved.

Communication and trust are two that come to mind immediately.

Even if she does tell you what's bothering her - can you believe her? There may be other reasons she won't express her feelings.

I would suggest that you don't play the game and keep asking what's wrong. Homegirl made a great suggestion - let her know she can talk to you anytime she wants, and stop asking.

[i go 18dumby]

OK thank everybody for your add vice.everythings going good now

[i go 18dumby]

Threads merged


OK so here it goes like I been going out with this girl 6months and I'm still confused why she really broke up with me.like I'm a really good guy and treat her really good and I catch her doing dirt.I mean maby I over react but at the same time I don't understand why she tells me she loves me and will do anything for me but doesn't.like I don't want to seem like I'm controlling her but I saw her giving this guy her number and he was hitting on her and I told her I don't feel comfortable her doing that and she got upset.to keep it brief should I trust her because after she said she was wrong for giving this gut the number I seen her do it again:confused:


I'm not sure if it was true but I was told that because I boosted her ego and basily did what ever she asked she feels she could do what ever she wants and get away with it so now she broke up with me to go see other guys and left me here thinking ill always be there

[talaniman]

You should be glad she dumped you because she is a liar and is setting up her next conquest. For players like that, it doesn't matter one bit how good you treat them, they do whatever they please to do what ever they want.

Time to get a winner, and lose the losers.

[Homegirl 50]

Well be glad she is gone. Let this be a lesson, people will get away with as much as you allow them to.
If you tell a person who supposedly cares about you that you are uncomfortable about something they are doing and they continue to do it, they are telling you "what you feel is not important".
Don't let that slide because when you do, you are telling them "it's OK to walk all over me"
"Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me"

[kp2171]

Threads mergedOK so here it goes like I been going out with this girl 6months and I'm still confused why she really broke up with me.

...

... im not sure if it was true but I was told that because I boosted her ego and basily did what ever she asked she feels she could do what ever she wants and get away with it so now she broke up with me to go see other guys and left me here thinking ill always be there

For point one... the you don't know why she broke up with you...

There's nothing wrong with not knowing.

Meaning you don't need to flippin' know why... yes... it REALLY SUCKS to not understand... grates at you... pesters and prods and relentlessly takes front and center... that desire to know and understand why...

It

Doesn't

Matter

Because hanging onto "what can or could i do to get her back" is a lousy way to live. Its normal and natural to feel what you feel... but a lot of pain and frustration goes away when you stop asking why and you start knowing "it is this way"...

Reality is simple... she broke up with you. Period. Done. Accept this as fact and don't spend more time trying to find the angle or in that will change this... do you think she is spending energy and time on trying to find how to somehow make you "acceptable" for her? no.
...

As for the "always there for her"... that's up to you. At this point, until she chases you hard... and I mean she comes clean... and not "i miss you" or "i was wrong" bs... its easy to throw that out... until she really comes clean about why it was easy to toss you aside... I'm thinking you have absolutely no business being "there for her"...

...

You might want to understand why. You might want a little revenge. You might want to go back to the illusion.

Again... all that matters is that whatever you felt was there... she didn't and doesn't. It is energy spent on smoke and mirrors.

[talaniman]

so now she broke up with me to go see other guys and left me here thinking ill always be there

That's why she broke up with you, because she can do her thing with whomever, and get you back whenever she wants.

That should be enough for you to leave her alone forever. That's just what ho's do bro!! Every female is not a ho, and that's what you need to get with.

[JoeCanada76]

Well it sounds to me she did you a favour by dumping you. Should have seen it coming long ago. Please try to move on and work on yourself and yes leave her alone. She is not worth it.

[positiveparent]

Ive got a whole folder full of them, but that's because of some research.

You said yourself it was 2 months before you went out, and perhaps she just forgot to delete them.

Just read through this and found more threads merged with it.

I would say get over it, she's not worth the effort, and she knows or thinks you'll always be there, so don't be there, let it go move on and forget her or expect to be treated like a doormat.

[Homegirl 50]

I have to spread some more rep positiveparent, but I agree with you.

She treats you the way you allow her to treat you. Leave the girl alone or continue to be her doromat.