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-   -   Not sure what to believe (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=464631)

  • Mar 24, 2010, 05:53 PM
    i go 18dumby
    Not sure what to believe
    Threads merged

    OK I looked in my girlfriends phone and found a picture or a naked man but it was from two months be for we went out should I be mad?? that its still in her phone?
  • Mar 24, 2010, 05:58 PM
    ohsohappy

    Have you even talked to her about it? How long have you been dating?
  • Mar 24, 2010, 06:00 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    Not as mad as she will be when she finds out you were sneaking and looking at her phone.

    If it was before it was, do you ever like to look at pictures or porn with naked women ?
  • Mar 24, 2010, 06:01 PM
    AmericanGirl01

    Do you have any provocative magazines? How about any DVD's? Do you throw these away when you get a girlfriend? I'm guessing no.

    The bigger question here is what were you doing looking through her phone?
  • Mar 24, 2010, 06:05 PM
    i go 18dumby

    3 months and no I haven't I just left it alone.and she knows I go threw her phone also she dose the same.and yes I like looen at naked women but porn is different.its not the same as having a picture of person you once had some type of realationship with
  • Mar 24, 2010, 06:06 PM
    ohsohappy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by AmericanGirl01 View Post
    Do you have any provocative magazines? How about any DVD's? Do you throw these away when you get a girlfriend? I'm guessing no.

    The bigger question here is what were you doing looking through her phone?

    Good points.

    P.S. I have six flights of stairs in my Apartment building, which flight(s) are you under?
  • Mar 24, 2010, 06:07 PM
    ohsohappy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by i go 18dumby View Post
    3 months and and no i havent i just left it alone.and she knows i go threw her phone also she dose the same.and yes i like looen at naked women but porn is different.its not the same as having a picture of person you once had some type of realationship with

    If it's an EX, then I'd be concerned. Talk to her about it. If you have an open enough relationship where you can go through each-other's phone's without getting mad, then you should have no problem bringing up the issue with something you found in it.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 06:10 PM
    i go 18dumby

    Yea I tried but for some reason I'm unsure of how to ask her.also I don't want her to think that I'm acussing her of anything like cheating
  • Mar 24, 2010, 06:20 PM
    ohsohappy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by i go 18dumby View Post
    yea i tried but for some reason im unsure of how to ask her.also i dont want her to think that im acussing her of anything like cheating

    Just say "Hey, did you realize that you still have this picture on your phone?" I know I had pictures I'd forgotten about (never nudies though) because I either ever really looked through them or hadn't gone that far back in my pictures for a while.

    See how she acts, if she's like "oh crap, sorry, [I'll] delete it" then she probably forgot about it.

    If she's like "yeah, so" she probably just doesn't care that much and didn't know or care if it bothered you. If she didn't know, then let her know (nicely) that you're not really okay with it and it would make you feel better if she deleted it. If she doesn't care how you feel about it, then I'd sit down and have a talk with her.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 07:36 PM
    I wish

    If you make it a big deal, she would get defensive and it would stir up an argument. So why not casually bring it up? Along the lines of: "Woah, what a pic, is this Brad Pitt?" See what she says and go from there. No need to accuse her of anything.
  • Mar 25, 2010, 01:35 AM
    i go 18dumby

    OK I tried the casually one but I deleted the pic by mistake she doesn't seem to notice.so I'm assuming that's a good thing right?
  • Mar 25, 2010, 01:46 AM
    Jake2008

    It would have been better if she deleted it herself- it's her property and her contents.

    Also want to point out that you shouldn't be too shy to just say something to your girlfriend when you are bothered by something. Far better to do that than to stew about it.

    Also to note. If your girlfriend looked at your cell phone with permission, and saw a naked picture of a past girlfriend, would we all view this a little differently?
  • Mar 25, 2010, 01:57 AM
    kp2171
    You shouldn't have deleted it.

    You should cut her some slack... it was from before you.

    So... if this is going to sit hard with you, make you search through her things looking for "signs"... id consider fessing up... you were looking at her pics, saw a naked man, deleted it while you were p!ssed (accident or not)... say you're sorry that happened, you're a jealous guy in some ways (I am too) and you don't want to carry this around.

    If you decide to ride it out and see if she brings it up, fine. Just be prepared for the potential "did you go through my phone" conversation and don't lie if cornered.
  • Apr 14, 2010, 04:16 AM
    i go 18dumby
    Threads merged

    OK so its been four months we been going out and there's a few secrets I un covered while we been going out and I'm not sure what to bealeav.so were sitting on the couch and her phone rings and she's acts very secrative.and says "just txt me ok" so we both go threw each others stuff such as phones emails etc.. So about two weeks lata I decide to read some text message and its from a guy I never heard of because she never told me.well she did but she never told me his name she also told me that she don't talk to any of her ex bf's.so as I'm reading I see that he comes on to her and tells her how he feels and that he still loves her.and she seems like she's confused on what to do and they quit txting for about two days.then it starts up again so I read then and he says "What are you thinking about and how do you feel"? And she replys" maby we should get back together" so after that I told her what I saw and read and how I felt and I ask is that what she wants and she gets really mad and says she only said it because she was mad at me.and that if she wanted him she would have been left me.and this is suppose to be one of her closes ex's but they met over the internet and they never met in person but that they talked for two years and went out for one of those years.so she says she will stop talken to him and she text him saying ''bye my realationship is should be worried about we could no longer be friends"

    Then 3 days I'm standing behind her and she is txting him and what makes it worse is she was trying to hide it.. im unsure of what to think

    Also why this frustrates me is because my ex of 2 years kept trying to get back with me and tells me she loves me and my girls is uncomfortable with that so I stop talking to her no contact at all.like she wanted but she would do the same and insisted that they were just friend and he understood that.so I said what ever talk to you want and sense then we been happy but in the back of my head I'm not sure if I was wrong for leting the subject go??
  • Apr 14, 2010, 06:57 AM
    Romefalls19

    Wow, this relationship is just full of problems. Neither one of you trust each other by going through phones and e-mails and all of that stuff. Without trust you can't have a relationship. If it bothers you so much that she talks to her ex, speak up and say it. Don't pu$$y foot around it, simply say "It bothers me that you two talk and are talking about those sorts of things"
  • Apr 14, 2010, 11:11 AM
    i go 18dumby

    I did she said she would quit talking to him but sense we don't live close I'm not sure if she has
  • Apr 14, 2010, 08:39 PM
    kp2171
    I think she's entitled to her privicy AND I think you can't trust her.
  • Apr 15, 2010, 11:38 AM
    Showme_urmove

    man she's telling you to do what I say but don't do what I do. Rome is right bro without trust there is no relationship, Think of it, do you really want to be like a detective and spy on her every time, looking at her phone, trying to see what emails she has, and all that crap, that's not a relationship, its just a heart ache for you. You love her cause your willing to put up with her Sh*^ but is it really worth it? You deserve a girl that can give you all of her and not confused about her feelings. She's not willing to give you that so don't give back, hold back. If you really do want to stay with her, then let her have a taste of her own medicine, do what she's doing to you and see if she likes it.
  • Apr 15, 2010, 04:34 PM
    ohsohappy

    I agree with the others, I really don't feel like you should bother with this girl. No matter how angry she is with you, she should never tell her ex boyfriend that they should get back together. I think you should just leave, it's not worth it.
  • Apr 27, 2010, 11:34 PM
    i go 18dumby
    What's bothering her??
    Threads merged


    OK I really wanted to know why women/girls don't tell you all the time what's bothering them? :confused:

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