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 Originally Posted by Bubbly_Dreamer1
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I have a question, how do u comment on a post? |
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Originally Posted by If_only
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Oh I see the agree/disagree option now because I'm signed on a PC. All the other times I came on this site on my cell phone so it probably didn't have that option then. BTW Kitkat22, I just want to say that your really wonderful. You always keep up with my posts and get back to me pretty much right away and I really appreciate it. Not to mention your advice is always great. *Cyberhug* |
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Originally Posted by If_only
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Just a little update/me venting.. Its been approximately 23 days since my ex/"friend" has said anything to me. I said before how I signed on my friends fb and I saw how he was doing fine partying hanging out with his friends and it really wasn't a good feeling. I kind of disciplined myself and I'll admit I don't do it as much as before but I did today and I broke down crying. I just can't believe how he ended things like that between us. I figured maybe after 2 weeks he'd get back to me and we can at least be civil to each other and part ways without having any hard feelings for each other but I myself don't have any way of contacting him. A part of me gets mad when I see his face and does not want to approach him but I ended up writing an email asking him if we can talk since a 3 weeks have passed by. I didn't send it because now I actually think before making any moves. My birthday is coming up in April and I can't help but wonder if he will remember and at least wish me. How do I stop thinking about him? I know I'm supposed to keep myself busy and not see anything concerning him on fb but its just so hard. I really wasn't that bad and I feel like he hates me. I got over it after a little bit and just listened to some music but the feeling still lingers. |
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I'm really happy to hear you are trying to move on. That's a great big step. My advice, don't listen to sad
Music. It is the things you have before you that are important. You seem like a very bright and caring young lady. It's his loss and one day he will realize this. By then you will have moved on with your life and you'll wonder, why you wasted time crying over him. I promise you it will get better! You look at yourself and See all the wonderful things you have in store. I hope we have helped you. Keep on posting, and we'll keep on talking as long as you need. Okay.. :) |
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It's funny how you brought up not listening to sad music because all my friends complain that all I have in my Ipod are sad songs! Lol Honestly I think I'm blessed. I have an awesome family who is always there for me and I have the best friends who have been on my side since day 1. They have been helping me a lot and I must admit, to an extent it does help but at night I find myself reminiscing. Yesterday I delete all the videos/pictures/voicenotes/saved text messages from my phone so I don't happen to see anything. It hurt afterwards but I knew I had to do it. KitKat22 did you really mean what you said about how I seem like a caring young lady? It's not that I want to hear it but I'm wondering how a stranger who I have never seen in person can figure that out by reading my posts but the guy who I was with who I literally SHOWED all this to never saw that. I admit I was very clingy and maybe annoyed him but at the same time it was my first real relationship. The sad part is in the beginning when I told him this, he was very understanding and told me to take my time and that he will understand. I guess he was all talk because obviously he didn't even give me time. He just decided to walk away and end things every time things were a little rough. I seriously from the bottom of my heart cared for him even though he turned his back on me which explains all that begging/pleading I did. To be honest, I gave more than I ever received whether it be attention or whatever. I figured he would change and see that I really have high hopes for us but I don't know day by day it got worse. There were days where we would goof around have fun and there were days where he would just ignore me. I always felt like he hated me which was why I nagged him because he gave out that vibe. Those incomplete answers, those long nights where I would be put on hold because he didn't want to "deal with me," all those rejections on BBM, all those times I was blocked, I still never gave up. And what surprises me is the fact that I was never like this before ever and I'm not with anyone else. With him I was a different person because I CAN be stubborn but I just didn't want to stoop down to his level. I still miss him but I know he probably forgot I exist and I really don't want to approach him. The sad part is if people live a week with a dog and after two days the dog has to be given away, the person who took care of the dog or the weeksort of misses having the dog around. Me and him were actually in a relationship where we talked everyday so that just goes to show how heartless he is. Hes too stubborn for his own good. KitKat, I hardly doubt he'll ever realize what he lost. Ahhh writing that out felt good! Thank u KitKat, reading your answer really did make me feel good. |
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Omg how did I forget to mention how I did his hw for him! I volunteered to do it but it was not appreciated at all! I did hw for him for about 4 classes and one semester I did great he got A's and the next semester he got caught plagiarising in one paper and completely blew off on me saying how its my fault and what not. On top of that he had the audacity to tell me how he lost all that money. So I decided to give him $3k for that class since it was my "fault." He didn't take the money but I didn't like how he made a big deal out of it when I was just trying to go out of my way to help him. Not to mention he was very irresponsible when it came to the hw. It was like he had NOTHING to do with it; he would email me the assignments and if I had any questions, he would have no idea and of course if anything went wrong, I was blamed for it. I got him excellent grades which he admitted he never got. I wasn't rewarded with anything but I sure was ridiculed over that plagiarism incident. (he wanted to part ways then too after I got mad and said so out of anger. He agreed like always but of course I had to "beg" again for him to stay). The hw stuff caused a lot of problems between us too when I was only trying to decrease the burden of work he had on his shoulders. Just a side note. |
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Originally Posted by If_only
The reason I know you are a nice young lady is the fact you admit your mistakes. We all have that one great love in our lives who we think we'll never get over. There are times when we act in ways we never thought we would. We would do anything for that person. When they start to pull away the harder we try to hold them the harder they they try to run. When it's over, we blame ourselves and think I should have done this or I shouldn't have done that. We go back and analyze each Word or smile wondering if there is hope. Then you wait and pray and cry. That's normal . What isn't normal is the cruel way he did this. He owed you respect and he isn't showing you that. I think he is just a player and he will regret it one day. I hope you regain yourself confidence because he isn't worth your time. Don't you dare try to see him. Get out and go to dinner with your friends. Go to a gym and workout. I believe what goes round comes round. You don't hurt people intentionally and not have it come back and hit you right in the face. It will come around to bite him! The day will come when you meet the true great love of your life And he'll treat you like you need to be treated. I did, I have been married many years to the most wonderful man in the world, great Father, we're best friends and the love I have for him is everlasting and true. We do a lot together, and with our kids who are grown. Without him I would be incomplete. I look back on that young girl who was treated so badly by the guy she trusted and married and ended up being abused mentally and physically. I had a child a couple years after we were married and I finally left , I did not grow up in an abusive home. When I met my husband a few years later I was leery, but it worked out. He's the only Dad my oldest child has ever known. What was so strange about my first marriage as much pain and misery as he put me through, there were times I missed him. I though I was nuts, but I talked to my friends and they said it's normal. Just like you said about the dog. I forgave him many years ago , because I knew it took much more out of me to hate him than to forgive him. If I have anyone to thank for the way my life is today, it's God, he brought me through a very dangerous time and I met my wonderful husband. I'm saying this to let you know your feelings are normal, but you will get over him and years from now you'll shake your head and laugh and say ; "what in the world did I ever see in that guy". You will! I know you will! I hope I have helped you .Get yourself together. Stop putting yourself down. God made you the way he wanted you to be, but he also wants you to use some of that strength he gave you! It's there call on on it and you are a nice young Lady. You are in my prayers !:) |
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Wow that was great. Thanks a lot for sharing your story its very well appreciated. That really brought a smile to my face. And the reason why you have what you have in life now is simply because you deserve it. I don't even know you and I can say that your an amazing person. U and the rest of the people on this site are amazing. I have a question though, after how long after that break up of yours did you find your husband? How long did you wait? |
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Originally Posted by If_only
When you do find the right one and you will it will be because you're not looking for him. You'll know and so will he. Don't settle for anything but the best. Don't let guys think because you are lonely you are an easy mark, I don't believe you are. Someday the boyfriend will kick himself in the butt because he let you go! Be sweet and have nice dreams.:) |
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If only, you sound like a sweet caring person, it sucks when stuff like this happens to people like you. But you will come out of this stronger, and you will be a happier person afterwards. I wish you all the best |
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Just an update... Two days ago my ex called and texted me. The last time I said anything to him was on the 13th of March, after that I was strictly on NC. He called me and I was in bed so when my phone vibrated I looked at it and saw his number. I deleted all his info from my phone so no name came up but I know his number by heart. I did not pick up and let it ring. After the missed call I got a text from him saying "ignoring? =)." I ignored that also. Then after 4 hours He texted me again basically saying what's with us not talking. The text was not in english but the translation is pretty much the same. I didn't feel like answering because I honestly don't want to come off as being too easy. I pretty much had to wait a little less than a month to hear from him and if I respond right away, it just gives him more power. He can leave whenever he wants and will know that whenever he decides to text me, I will respond immediately. I want him to learn a lesson. But at the same time I do wish to be friends with him but at the same time not show him that I am needy/desperate like I did before. He hasn't said anything since the 2nd and I'm wondering how I should play this out. I'm not going to lie, this time away did make me realize my own mistakes and where I was wrong. At the same time I want him to know that I changed as well. Should I wait it out and see if he says anything else? |
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Originally Posted by If_only
Well... I suggest you stay NC. You are on the road to mending. See how much better you'll feel. Not only will you get your self Confidence back , it will make you feel better. Don't believe anything he tells you... He's a liar and a user. Change your number and if you are on Facebook block him. Get angry when you think of how he's treated you. . No contact .Okay also use regular words when you post here because text speak is not allowed.:) You can do it. Stay strong and be firm, he'll get the picture. I wouldn't care to bet you a few months from now he'll look back and kick himself in the rear because he'll realize you're the best thing that ever happened to him. But it will be to late and You won't care. This is horrible to say... but revenge is soooo sweet. You'll see. Blessings:) |
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It think if you leave him alone long enough you will get over him, stop with the game of thinking he will change, if you teach him a lesson, and see that life has better options and opportunities, if you heal properly. |
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I completely agree with u Talaniman and Kitkat22. I know what his faults are and I also know mine. I already stated in my original post that I ran after him too much, emailed him numerous times and basically was annoying which is why he did what he did. I'm not at all taking his side and justifying any of his actions because at the end of the day he can be very mean when all is said and done but a part of me wants to see how things would really be now now that I won't repeat any of my mistakes. I don't want to give in immediately either. Right now I'm just on the borderline. I'm contemplating what I should do and how I should respond if I do. But at the same time I want to see his attempts. I want to see how badly he wants me back in his life. Two texts and a phone call really don't convince me. I appreciate you all for looking out for me and I know its for my own good but I'm just sharing my thoughts with you. And Kitkat, I wasn't aware of the texting language that I was using. Sorry. |
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By the way, does anyone think he contacted me out of pity? I definetely don't want him feeling sorry for me. I haven't said anything to him for a few weeks so it would be weird if he feels sorry for me... |
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What you had was a toxic relationship and now its back to playing texting mindgames. Don't fall into that trap. Ignore him,stay NC and heal. |
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Originally Posted by amicon
He's a manipulator and he knows exactly which strings to pull. (you stay strong! :) |
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