[talaniman]

Forgive yourself for being human and making a mistake.

Its not about how he possibly gloats,its about how you leave him to his sad little life and heal so that you can move on.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
That was very well said and I agree 1000%!!

[kp2171]

Yeah.

Welcome to earth. Sucks sometimes to be mortal, eh?

Look... hopefully we learn from our mistakes, and sometimes we aren't ready to learn until we make enough that we either hit bottom or get embarrassed or get bored with the drama.

So... could be worse, you know. For as ugly and frustrating as this is, its usually not hard to imagine a more embarrassing scenario. Call it a setback... but could be worse.

I don't know... in the end, I think he is the one who looked like a fool... and in the end you have more info about why he probably just isn't right for you, right? I mean... he might have a bit of an inflated ego, knowing he was under your skin, but really... you cannot try to make him suffer for losing you. It's a maddening battle. Its one that you will fight within yourself mostly, and it drains energy and attention from where it needs to be.

So... he made himself out to be an arse. You are hurting because you'd like him to be hurting for you a little. A therapist I know says little boys often express sadness as anger, lashing out.

Some little boys never grow up.

[arllina]

Hello , I have been feeling really sad and I felt kind of missing him , but maybe it is just because this nice weather we have and I have nothing to do with it . I saw him with his car and his motocycle and I greeted politely but nothing more , the night at the party went bad for him , he got really drunk and started to cry for no reason , so I heard and towards the morning he got into a fight and got beaten up .I knew but did not call to see how he was and what did the doctors say . Yesterday though he put a pictures with the girl he completely ignored at the party , and some status referring to him being on a walk with her . But I saw the girl with two of her friends few minutes after he posted that pic . Is he trying to get to me through this ? I don't know if he wants a reaction to all this or he is just posting that picture to prove that he is moving on . I am going on a date tonight by the way but I am not posting nor showing it to people.

[amicon]

Stop checking him out on Facebook or whichever other site it it.
You're supposed to be doing NC,remember?

Stop worrying about his actions-all of them.

Go on dates by all means,but don't jump into a rebound relationship-heal from your breakup first.

Your feelings of sadness are normal,they'll fade with time if you allow yourself to move on.

[arllina]

I saw them together on the motocycle , I felt like puking . It is bothering me a lot but I am keeping it inside .can he be over me already ?

[vanheart]

All the more reason to stay NC.

Sucky, yes. But more reinforcement.

It doesn't matter anymore what he's up to, just what you are up to...

[arllina]

He came to the club I was at with some guy friends , and checked me up twice , I ignored him , then he left and called me , he was really drunk , I didn't pick up .when I went home he was in front of my house , and said that he saw me drinking and that I shouldn't drink , I was laughing when he said that and I said I could give him a ride at his girl and he can feel sorry for himself there .He denied hedr being his grl and he said he just used her photo and asked her for a date to see if I still cared . I said you noticed I don't . And he said that he does not have feelings for me anymore and he doesn't have feelings for anyone . All he wants to do is to drink and doesn't care about anything . I said it was his choice and that he should leave , he started kissing me and I smiled and asked him if he doesn't have any feelings why not leave me alone , he said he misses me some times but he is fighting this urge bad and he thought abuout how good we were together but then he realised he doesn't love me . I said I am fine with that but please respect my no contact cause I am moving on . He kissed me and left . Does he mean wehat he is saying ? I am missing him more now although I know I shouldn't , but I can't go on like this .

[CarrotTalker]

No, he sounds unstable and is trying to use you and this other girl as a pawn in his game.

Don't be a pawn, stand up for yourself and move on, go no contact.

Re-read the advice given in this thread and stick to it!

You can do it!

[amicon]

How are you going to heal if you keep talking to him?
Rereading your previous advice is a good idea.

[vanheart]

You don't need a loser like him.

[talaniman]

Why even talk to a drunk?? Let alone believe anything they say.

[kp2171]

A 22 year old boy (yes, boy) is getting drunk and causing drama...

I don't know what to say that I haven't said before.

It sucks to be in the "getting over it" stage. Its worse when the ex is behaving badly.

Absolutely nothing you have posted so far gives any hint that whatever was wrong is being addressed... sure, the guy misses the comfort and security of the familiar now and then, and is more vocal when drinking.

But really... you cannot expect to throw a switch and suddenly the guy is decent about this... again... some people deal with pain by being a snot... and if he is hurting, that doesn't mean he should get back together with you.

Some very needed breaks still hurt.

But again... you chose to be with a very young man, who is still a young man. Experience is no guarantee that someone will make better choices... but id like to think that it has better odds.

Stop letting him kiss you. Stop asking him "why" so much... it doesn't matter why he is driving you mad... he just is... it doesn't matter why he might be moving on... he is... it doesn't matter why he is conflicted at times...

You are really focused on him.

What is he thinking? Why is he doing this? Is he moving on? How can he move on? Did he love you?

You aren't going to heal much until you stop asking about him so much and start focusing just on where you are, what you need, etc.