Check out some similar questions!

Paul_the one · Mar 25, 2010, 06:49 AM

I know the title sounds weird but here it goes.

I always had a bad relationship with my mother because her mentality is very hard to understand and as stupid as it might sound she has no logic.
As I mentioned my relationship with my mother was not the greatest but I got through school and every day life normally as she would have what I call "mood swings", she can be loving and caring and is the best mother some one can ask for, but then something snaps in her and she start giving out for no reason, she looks for reasons to shout at me and make me fell miserable with comments such as "you are a mistake" "i wish you died" "hope you leave" she would do things that she knew would harm me (mentally).I was about to finish school.. done 11 years and had extra 2 years O and A lvl (European) when she said that I don't need school and she is not going to pay for it anymore (don't get me wrong my grades were good) and that I should move to live with my father because she hates me, so I never finished school and right now I am without a middle education (and money was no problem, I come from a very wealthy family). What annoyed me the most is that for the past 3 years that I worked, she told friends and relatives that I had a higher education and all that (I am to embarrassed to say that I did not have it so I played along). I would go to live with my dad but he has his own family (I am more than welcome to stay with them, good relationship with my dad) but that would mean I need to do 4 years of army which is a waste of time. I also have a girl friend who lives in another country who I can live with but with no education I will not be able to find a job that would keep us going.There are many things I haven't mentioned because it would take to long. Right now I don't know what to do.. I have no options, and as pathetic as it sounds I would commit suicided and all problems will be gone... the only reason I am still here is my girl friend, she supported me all the time, we love each other, and her parents love me. I can't stay where I am now because my mother dose not want to help me with the documents so I have to leave...

This might not make any sense but I had to share it.

NYcityboy · Mar 25, 2010, 07:41 AM

Paul,

Its good that you posted. Just my opinion, but I think you need to forgive your mother for what she has done and see if you can get back to school. Very good to have a good relationship with you father and a good GF. You have some great things going for you, best of luck to you.

Jake2008 · Mar 25, 2010, 09:32 AM

As hard as it sounds, it all seems to boil around going back to your mother, and finishing your education. Will your father pay for it?

Perhaps your mother simply cannot afford it, or as you said, has problems of her own to deal with. Your father can send the money directly to the school.

If you stay with your father, you will have to re-do a lot of your education, that seems like a waste. You can't go to your girlfriends because your mother won't sign the papers. And 4 years of military life doesn't seem like an option for you either.

See if you can't find a way to get through what is left of your schooling with your mother. Think of it as a job, and you'd rather have a different job, and a different boss, but until you finish your education you cannot afford to leave.

You do have options, there are always options, and suicide is not one of them I'm sure you realize. You have much to gain by putting your effort into school, and your whole life to live after that.

Speak to your father. Run all of this by him, and ask him for guidance and support. I have a feeling he can offer you a lot more understanding than you give him credit for.

I would feel a little lost in your shoes, I can understand all the forks in the road you are facing now, but, think of the goal. Ultimately it will be your freedom.

QLP · Mar 25, 2010, 05:41 PM

Your mom seems to have some problems of her own which are affecting how she treats you.

Can you speak to a more rational adult. You may not want to go live with your father but can he be there for you emotionally to talk it through with? What about your friend's parents who you say love you, can you talk to them for advice? Maybe they can help you access some careers advice and also some financial advice.

Can your dad support you finacially whilst you live elsewhere until you complete your education? As Jake said, speak to him, see what he has to say and maybe he will come through for you.