[vanheart]

Thanks for opening up.

Appreciate that. One thing Im starting to understand. Is lots of bad moves. On everyone's part. I guess you all knew each other growing up.

Hanging with a dealer. He obviously doesn't have his act together. Although may be fun to hang with.
He secretly wanted you, I bet you knew that. You wanted his brother, and went for him, regardless of the consequences.

The ones you are dealing with now.

Now his brother isn't living up to your expectations, and honestly. He isn't going to.

Like you said "he said because 'I take care of him'. he doesn't connect well in conversations with anyone."

Did you get that one?

Do you know the term "blood is thicker than water"

Like I said, this twin brother thing was going to be trouble.

If I were you, I would exit stage right from both of them.

Neither one is, was, or going to be good for you.

[Kitkat22]

Thanks for opening up.

Appreciate that. One thing Im starting to understand. Is lots of bad moves. On everyones part. I guess you all knew each other growing up.

Hanging with a dealer. He obviously doesnt have his act together. Although may be fun to hang with.
He secretly wanted you, I bet you knew that. You wanted his brother, and went for him, regardless of the consequences.

The ones you are dealing with now.

Now his brother isnt living up to your expectations, and honestly. he aint gonna.

Like you said "he said because 'I take care of him'. he doesn't connect well in conversations with anyone."

Did you get that one?

Do you know the term "blood is thicker than water"

Like I said, this twin brother thing was gonna be trouble.

If I were you, I would exit stage right from both of them.

Neither one is, was, or gonna be good for you.

She has another post ,"How do i know if my bf is having sex with another woman".

[talaniman]

Sad that you don't realize you're drowning in your own SH!T.

[vanheart]

Oh, yeah, I forgot something.

To take some responsibility for your actions.

The ones that got you in this. And the ones next.

You are also part of the problem here, if not most of it.

[Kitkat22]

Sad that you don't realize you're drowning in your own SH!T.

I can't believe this girl. I can't believe I fell for her poor little me!

[vanheart]

Ewwww. Thanks Tal, now I got that image in my mind.

Hehe.

[amicon]

Question,do you have friends and family to talk to?

I think,on some level,you know that the situation you are in isn't healthy.

Get help.

[lea_09]

I vent a lot to my friends, but you know all of them are getting married and it is crazy. I might not be as lucky as my friend who married a handsome guy in pre med for psych after hearing her complain for 3 months of never meeting the 'one' when she did shortly after and got married in ten months. I am not stupid and I don't think I am narcisstic either. But I did dig a whole and I can get out of it quick. I mean I just like to hang out with friends and not think about anything. But it is amazing to let myself go and have fun with other guys and girls. My behavior was self destructive, but it all started because he was accusing me of lying and cheating before I was doing anything. And I cried like everyday because it hurt me for him to think like that. I didn't go and be with his brother because I wanted to go purposely hurt him but because I was hurting and when you hurt you go to your best friend...

[vanheart]

Good lesson.

Who to trust. And why. First yourself. Not worrying about superficial BS, or knee-jerk motives.

What's your grandmother's thoughts?

Like I said before, you got to take responsibility for your actions & ask yourself why you make the decisions you make.

Based on what?

Look at that & you will hopefully move forward. Regardless of who says what.

That's the start. Aside from Federer or anyone else that's causing you grief.

If you are honest & true. Then, well... Then, you only have to be concerned with others that are the same.

Its time to grow & change bad habits. This is YOUR life, by the way..

[lea_09]

I told her how I felt about his brother and she said just break up with one and date the other. But that's not that easy. He can't take me home to his mom and my boyfriend or ex per se should have to fully give up his commitment to me. And he won't ever. It is my life and people try to control it. And I let them which makes me crazy because I can't be controlled for that long.

[vanheart]

That's what we said in the beginning.

Sorry, your grandma was wrong. But sweet, Im sure.

You are SO right lea. Its time to start.

Taking control over your life. Do some good things.

You may want to take up a journal if you don't already.

I find that writing my thoughts down help. I do that for everything, actually. So I make sure that I don't lose those killer ideas I have for myself & everything else Im working on. And stuff to watch out for.

Good release. One that you can use.

You have some serous work to do. On yourself.
We all do that if we want things to be better later.

We are guilty of self-neglect at one time or another.
That why we are here to begin with.

[lea_09]

Yeah I can try, but journals... keeps me on the offense. I feel like someone will read it. Although, when I am upset or crying I don't make sense

[vanheart]

Hey.

Whatever works for you.

If your words are honest, then you shouldn't care who here's it, or potentially reads it (as if).

My ex thought like that. She even got rid of 10+ years of journals. (Just ripped the pages out she was paranoid about) Right before she dumped me.

Guess she had sh**t to hide thet I never knew about.

The point is there's actions & then there's words.

You may want to go speak to someone. Someone impartial. A pro.
Especially cause it sounds like you don't have close friends.

[lea_09]

I mean I did, but you get separated from your friends when you transfer schools. And I hated it when he would take time out from my friends

[vanheart]

More excuses.

Go back & read your thread(s) a dozen times.

High maintenance? That's only a term for people that don't take control over their life.

What is it exactly you want? Now, later, then later, then...

[lea_09]

I am not sure what I really want. I need to think about it.

[vanheart]

Yup. Congratulations!!

That's the key. To this, your thing, my thing and the person down the streets thing. Everyone.

To step back & learn about yourself. Being true.

Let me know what you discover.

[lea_09]

Besides staying up late is bad for me and I gain weight lol. But yeah I figured a lot of things for myself day by day. But I am def feeling just hanging out with my friends after exams and papers to write is over... ugh. College...

[vanheart]

Im a night owl too.

I do my best at night sometimes. Whatever.

Im glad you going to take a break. Hope you really do.
True friends are the most important thing for me. Whether they are in my city or thousand of miles away.

When you are looking at your papers, make sure you read through your threads.

[lea_09]

I know I should. I didn't actually read all the pages and pages of them. Being offline for 12 hrs can have a lot of responses to them. And I try to time manage to. I am obsessive compulsive about time. Plus I have insomnia too. Sucks when you aren't tired.