[salndaworld]

Okay, the title is a little generic, but I had to sum it up. I am deployed for 10 months. This is my third deployment, but my first deployment with this wife. I have been in the military for 13 years, so I am not new to this either. We are in our 30's. We are very honest with each other, sometimes too honest. She told me the other day that she was very horny and she is afraid. I didn't want to jump to conclusions so I asked her why she was afraid. She said she didn't feel like she had control of her body. I am really worried that she might cheat on me if the opportunity presented itself. For instance, if another man tried pick her up she might take him up on the offer. I have tried to get her to please herself, but she can't seem to orgasm. She has tried several different toys, but none have worked. I have also told her that we could avoid talking about sex and maybe her sex drive will go down. That hasn't worked either. . Now I am constantly wondering what she's doing where she is, etc... I have never been this way before. I don't like it. What can I do? I bought her some books about being a military spouse and I found her a few articles. When I try to tell her how I feel, she feels bad for telling me what she was thinking. She swears that she would never cheat on me. She says she is constantly thinking about sex. Our sex life is amazing when I am home. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Fr_Chuck]

She needs to know how to please herself before she can tell or show another what she likes. She needs to find out what she likes.

[Gemini54]

Get her some good books on how to masturbate herself to orgasm - or better still, get her to do the research over the internet.

She's a big girl now (I won't ask how she's got to her 30's and has not been able to masturbate herself to orgasm.. ) and needs to take responsibility for her 'needs'. It's easy - she just has to practice.

In the end it's about trust - you need to trust that she won't cheat on you to satisfy her horniness and she needs to trust that she can learn how to masturbate.

If your relationship is good then this will strengthen it - talk about it and figure it out together.

[leif_erikson]

If she really loves you, then I wouldn't really say that it's the sex that she's missing. Maybe she misses the time that's spent on having sex with you. I understand what she means when she says that she'll never cheat, yet she's horny. Based on the information that you gave saying that she's very honest with you, I'd say that this is the case. Masturbation is not enough to please a person emotionally because in the end, you know that you're just screwing yourself. Sex doesn't feel great unless it's with someone who you really love. (and this is coming from someone who's still a virgin at 20) I really can't masturbate myself to orgasm unless I'm thinking of my girlfriend.

[talaniman]

I think you trust her, and don't worry about what she is doing.

[myagony1234]

“Is it normal for a wife to be sexually frustrated while her husband is deployed?”
The answer is of course “Yes!”. If she is not frustrated upon your leaving, it will be very odd. Please try not to kill her mood, but cherish her and please her as much as you can as her husband. She will remember the amazing time with you while she is waiting for you.
She is trying to get the most out of you while before deployment.
By the way, 10 month is not that bad. While you are gone, she will be depressed and sad, and it kills her mood and desire. Remember, She is not crazy about sex, but you, loving husband. Have a faith in her.