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shannonbug · Mar 18, 2010, 07:15 PM

My boyfriend who I have been with for 6 months now wants to join either the military, or the cost guard. I don't know how to deal with this I can't stand the thought of him not being here or coming back. We have never spent more then a day apart I don't know how to give him support on this I really want to be there for him I just don't know how I can do it any edvice I would greatly appreciate

jaime90 · Mar 18, 2010, 07:21 PM

Sure thing. My fiancé is a Marine. After knowing him for about a year and a half, and dating him for less than 6 months, he went to bootcamp, for 3 months, only letters as our contact. After that, it was 9 months of long-distance (2 phone calls a week) and 3 months of NO contact whatsoever before finally coming together to have our first one-on-one date.

If you can't love someone without seeing, hearing, or touching them, then you don't TRULY, love them. Simple as that. It's difficult to be alone, yes, but it's something that you get used to, and something that you can endure if you truly do love this man. If you respect and love him, you would support him in his decision. This is his life and his lifestyle. I suggest telling him that you will love him, and support him, even if he goes away, and you are unable to see, touch, or hear him. True love spans miles and eternity... if you love him, you can do it.

Kitkat22 · Mar 18, 2010, 07:28 PM

If you make him choose and he chooses not to join the military
You will have to watch him regret it all his life.

I think it's admirable and very brave for him to want to do this.

If you love him support him. Good luck to both of you:)

talaniman · Mar 19, 2010, 12:24 AM

I assume you're 16 now, and he is 18, am I right? If so, you have little choice but to let him pursue his life career, and you may be attached, but its only been 6 months. As you said he is only your lover, but life is forever.

shannonbug · Mar 19, 2010, 07:42 AM

Thanks everyone and yea I'm 16 but he's actually 21 n we have been togeather for 6 months yes but we have known each other for years and always had a thing for each other. I meen if this is something he truly wants to do I will support him. I will always stand by him its just going to be incredably hard. I just want to be able to know that this won't tare us apart that's all.

talaniman · Mar 19, 2010, 08:11 AM

A lot of things can end a relationship, being apart is just one thing to contend with.

Feelings changing as you grow and learn about yourselves is another. The list is endless.

Your kind of young for a grown man and being together for 6 months, is a lot different than knowing of each other for years, attraction or not.

No one knows if they will stay together without trial, and tribulation.

jaime90 · Mar 19, 2010, 12:19 PM

I agree. 16 and 21 is quite a big age gap. Be careful. If he touches you in any way, he could get in some serious trouble. And 6 months is not that long at all.

Kitkat22 · Mar 19, 2010, 01:46 PM

Originally Posted by jaime90

I agree. 16 and 21 is quite a big age gap. Be carefull. If he touches you in any way, he could get in some serious trouble. and 6 months is not that long at all.

I wish you luck!

Gemini54 · Mar 19, 2010, 10:58 PM

In one of your previous posts in 2009 you said that you were pregnant (was this 21 year old guy the father?).

What happened to the pregnancy?

All I can say is he's 21 and you're 16 - that's a huge age gap. He's starting his adult life and you're still a teenager.

You just have to let him do whatever it is that he wants to do. That's part of growing up.

He will change and so will you - of that you can be sure.

shannonbug · Mar 21, 2010, 10:42 PM

Originally Posted by shannonbug

My boyfriend who i have been with for 6 months now wants to join either the military, or the cost guard. I dont know how to deal with this i can't stand the thought of him not being here or coming back. We have never spent more then a day apart i dont know how to give him support on this i really want to be there for him i just dont know how i can do it any edvice i would greatly appreciate

By the way if your going to put stuff up saying you won't make it 6 months isn't that long don't worry about it anything negative in that kind of way then don't bother replying

Kitkat22 · Mar 22, 2010, 05:27 AM

Look you wanted advice and that's what you're getting good or bad and by the way you posted I don't think you're mature enough to handle a separation for very long. If you love this man and this is what he wants to do don't act like a sixteen year old. If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen!