[myagony1234]

Gemini54,
Thanks for support and kind word. I am trying to be positive as much as possible. I did not waste my life too long.

The more I think, the more I am convinced my first husband was my true love and the best thing happened to me in my life. I met him at age 23, and we only dated for 6 month before he proposed me. He was the most kind, caring, loving husband until de died.
I do not think I can fid the man like him in my life. It is just lost. It sounds weird, but after I made a bad mistake about the second marriage, I miss him more and more. I am really sorry.

Divorce wise, my lawyer says this divorce will cost me financially. Since I have a good job while he does not, I may have to pay ALIMONY to him. I cannot believe what I have done. My lawyer says he will find the best way for me since I have married only for short period. I know he will not even looking for a job, permanently unemployed, and it will be impossible for him to remarry with his monstrous son. I am trapped by him for life time, and pay the cost of my poor judgment forever. I am really sorry, depressed, and sleepless.

People on this board,
Please be careful when you get married.
Please do not make mistake just I did.
I wish your best luck!

[myagony1234]

Oh, by the way, my lawyer was told by my soon-to-be ex’s lawyer that he does not have any pension, or significant saving. He only has less than 10K in total in his saving account, and yes, jobless. Meantime, I have a job, a good house in suburb, and saving account. It will really cost me big time for lifetime…
My lawyer found out that my soon-to-be ex sued another wealthy woman, and earned significant amount of money from her before he met me. My lawyer assumed he had affair with this woman. I start to think my soon-to-be ex is indeed professional con to use women for living. He has good looks, charming manner, and knows how to talk sweet.
I feel so ashamed and heart-wrenching...

[myagony1234]

My question is:
1. if he was so money-less, jobless, why didn't he try hard to keep me as meal ticket? He ruined it to be with his mentally ill son.
2. if he was o moneyless, why did he buy $25,000 boat which is useless? We even did not live close to water, and had to drive 30 miles to get to the closest lake.
3. then, what was the saving account copy he showed when he tried to convince me to keep them last time? Were they fake & he made them up?

It dos not make any sense to me. Any advice?

[Cat1864]

My question is:
1. if he was so money-less, jobless, why didn’t he try hard to keep me as meal ticket? He ruined it to be with his mentally ill son.
2. if he was o moneyless, why did he buy $25,000 boat which is useless? We even did not live close to water, and had to drive 30 miles to get to the closest lake.
3. then, what was the saving account copy he showed when he tried to convince me to keep them last time? Were they fake & he made them up?

It dos not make any sense to me. Any advice?

I just read the thread from the beginning. I think you need to talk to your lawyer about finding out more about this con-man. Have a private investigator go over his life with a magnifying glass. I am not so certain that his son is as bad as he seems. I think Daddy has taught him well how to use women and circumstances. I would also bet that dad knew about his son's 'business'.

I wouldn't be surprised if he is working on another mark right this very minute.

Did he buy the boat? How was the boat 'paid' for (as well as, the other things he bought his son and child support)? For that matter where is the boat now?

I am so glad you are out of that relationship and almost done with him. I hope you have a lot more good times and memories ahead of you.

[myagony1234]

Cat,
Thank you for your advice and support. I am so worried and talking to my lawyer to look into it... I just hope all the truth is found out, and everything is sort out in justice as it is supposed to be. Thank you.

Sleepless & heartbroken

[hungtoronto]

Myagony,


Feel sorry for you. Life is not perfect and we all make mistakes, the important thing is that we learn from our mistakes and not let them happen again. What doesn't kill us will make us stronger. Good luck and hope everything is settle soon.

[graduate2life]

I read your story. I was immensely touched. I would even say impacted. Its good to see that with help of some direction from wise members here you emerge as a hero in the end, which is good to find out. You are an admirable person.

Your (first) husband was a nice man, and you met him at a young age, so you were much shielded through your life. It was no wonder you did not realize that everyone is not the same , and it seems like there are all kinds of people out there. I hope his episode will make you wiser and stronger - for you as well as for the sake of your children, whom now you can guide better in their future decisions. There is always a good in every bad. Good Luck !

[myagony1234]

graduate2life,
Yes, my mistake was I was too genuine, did not have wisdom to see through the person.

I met my first husband when he was still in med school, and we married just after he finished the course. He was down to earth type, very genuine man, gave me all the love he had during our marriage, and we had 2 beautiful children together. The whole 14 years of marriage was so short, passed like a blinking moment of eye, and we were so much in love and passion for each other. I adored him as my lover, best friend, soul mate, and he cherished me as the center of the world. Every year, we had 2 family trips together, one with kinds & one for just for two of us without kids all over the world, and it was the happiest period in my life.
He was very sweet person inside out, treated his patience with heart, and everybody loved him as good doctor and a community leader.

Unfortunately, he died too early. I still do not understand why he had lung cancer even though he never smoked.

Anyhow, I genuinely believed anyone if they are nice to me, as I believed my husband when I was young. My second husband has good education and family background as well, but somehow given up to work, and started to depend on others and use them as mean. It is just sad. My mistake was I tried to replace my first husband with this man who had great smile and sweet talk, and I was not aware of the inside of him.

Now I am getting wiser and stronger, and my life is back in the track again like before.
The good news is my son wants to be a doctor just like his father. He is in med school, and completed entire his pre-med course with excellent GPA. He is genuine as much as his father, studying morning to night, working hard to help sick seniors every week in the local nursing home. I know he will make a good doctor just like his father, and I am so proud of him.

hungtoronto, cat and every one,
Thank you for giving me all the support and blessing I really need at this moment! :)