[talaniman]

And while your still confused, she made sure you knew that you were dumped.

I told her I can't be friends with her. Then she said, can we just date, and start slowly from there. It's not what I want, but if that is our only chance...

From around the other side of the world? Come on guy, even you can see that calls for you to stay in her life, when she has time for you. NO DEAL!

The thing that hurts me most, is that there are so many things that we can change to make our relation so much better than before.

Sure it is if she was willing to work on it with you, but obviously, she doesn't.

Then she says: 'can I try something? Close your eyes'. She started kissing me... Not too long after that we went home.

Just like hooking a fish, you will never forget those kisses, makes you remember what your missing.

Talaniman Rule- While they are dumping you, never say you can't be friends. Agree to whatever she wants, then disappear from their life.

[Kevin86]

What advice would you give her?

Her brain tells her she can only solve her problems when she is not in a relation. But at the same time when she is with her ex, she feels in love and wants to be with him.

I think that, working on the relation together is the best option. Solve all the problems together. If that's not working, it's over.

[amicon]

But you're not working on your problems together.

She broke up with you and she s saying she can't be in a relationship.

She keeps you hanging on by going all kissy-kissy and talking about dating.

Tal is right,disappear from her life.

Accept that its over, start healing and start working on your new life.

[talaniman]

She hasn't asked me for advice, so she doesn't need it, or yours for that matter.

Have you disappeared yet?

[vanheart]

You are doing ALL of the wrong things.

What are we chopped liver? Are you familiar with that saying?

At some point you are going to realize its over. Slap yourself in the face. Don't prolong that much more.

She's not your end, just the beginning.

She's doesn't want what you want. That's OK. That's life.

[Kevin86]

Ok it's time for an update.

After my ex came back from the Olympics, we saw each other 6 days in a row. She wanted to see if there were still feelings, I didn't want to give up before I knew for sure.
Last Wednesday we decided to go on a real date. We dressed up, and were ready to have a good night. We went to dinner, and after dinner she grabbed my hand, and we walked around for a little bit. Then we went somewhere to have coffee, we had a super good conversation. We were solving our issues from before. She also admitted that she felt amazing again, the night before she even told me that she missed and loved me.

Then it was time for me to tell her to make a decision. I told her she is not going to have a stronger feeling for me than she had at that time. I explained her it wouldn't make sense to wait any longer. She told me she can't do it.

These are the reason why it doesn't work anymore for us:
- She is not ready to be in a relationship, she wants in dependence
- We had some stupid arguments the last couple months, and can't handle that anymore
- She wouldn't be able to give everything she had, and then wouldn't be fair to me.

Thanks guys for all the help!

I did not regret what I did, now I know for sure. Now I'm ready to move on. I'm excited to meet new people. At the same time I'm kind of nervous too, because I hardly know anyone yet, and I'm not the best person to start talking to random people. I know I can keep a conversation running, it's just the first step.

Anyway, I will be fine:)

Thanks again!

[amicon]

Good luck and I know you'll be fine.
Take good care of yourself.

[vanheart]

Well, that took a lot of courage.

Found out what you probably already knew, just needed to hear it.

Good, man.

Now the world is your oyster.

[Kevin86]

Thanks for your message vanheart.

I don't agree with you. I didn't know that this would happen. I understand the chance of getting back together was really really small, and that is what I knew:)

[vanheart]

All that matters is what you know now.

However you see it, you're free to do what ever you want.

Just like her.

[Kevin86]

Ok another update. I'm kind of embarresed to tell you guys, but here we go:

I thought it was really over about me and my ex, but for some reason we decided to go to the beach yesterday. This morning I went over to her house, she slept in my arms, and we had sex afterwards.

After I took a shower I checked my phone, and saw that she had been checking my inbox. She was downstairs for a while, and I decided to check her inbox too, since I felt all the time there was something going on. And of course I found text messages from this guy who she met in Vancouver. It was obvious that something was going on. When I confronted her, she didn't know what to do. Finally she told me everything, she had sex with this guy in Canada, and she is in love with this guy. Tomorrow she was planning to go to San Fransisco to see him.

Anyway instead of working on our relationship, and building something back up again, she was just using me. She told me today she couldn't let go of me for some reason.

I have to admit that until now I'm pretty strong, I hope this stays the same. It sucked to find that out, but at the same time there are no doubts anymore.

What I've learned from the last year and a half, is that you just can't know someone completely that fast. I never thought she could be this bad, like not at all. But now it's kind of obvious that this lying part of her, is just part of her character. She lied before about other stuff too.

Anyway, I guess 'no contact' for real now.

I'm kind of scared I will hit a wall later today, let's hope for the best:)

Thanks guys (and girls:))

[vanheart]

Its on you.

How long do you want to keep being used and posting about your continued mistakes?

And how she lies.

That wall your going to hit is your own doing. Not hers.

Stop being a wuss.

[amicon]

I hope that was the final wakeup call.

Are you ready to do NC proper now?

[Imabadman]

Man... this reads like a horror novel.

You watch... when this long distance thing doesn't work out with the guy she's hooking up with you'll be the back-up plan. Hope by then you get fed up enough, and grow a pair, to tell her that you're not interested.

[Kevin86]

Believe me guys, this was it for me. I guess I had to find out the real hard way.

I will post again, once I will be even more happy with someone else:)

[amicon]

Good luck.
Make sure you are completely over her before you become involved with somebody else.

[Kevin86]

Amicon, I know that is pretty important.
Don't worry, I don't know anyone here yet, and I find it really hard to make friends. So I guess that will be my first objective, making friends! :)

I hate being alone at the moment, I feel like a loser when I walk outside by myself all the time. Hope that will change soon.

[talaniman]

That's the hardest part about doing your own thing... figuring out what your thing is!

Time to figure it out, since the distractions are gone.

[Kevin86]

Oops.. I meant to say, 'I hate being by myself', and not 'I hate being myself'. I feel OK at the moment, so that's good. I just didn't sleep good at all, so many thoughts in my head.

Yeah I need to make some plans to meet new people. I'm trying to meet some people online who I can meet in real life. Hope that's going to work out.

[vanheart]

Use this time to let yourself know that you don't "need" anything.

And yes, meet as many people in your life as you can. Not just girlfriend prospects.