[manymen]

I am in a relationship with a man who is addicted to drugs and I would like to have some help. He always makes me feel bad and I do EVERYTHING for him. If we fight it is always my fault. The emotional and verbal abuse is really getting to me. I want to know if this is what normally happens in this situation and why he is doing this to us.
Thank you very much.

[valinors_sorrow]

It is sadly far more normal than I care to validate for you. As the addiction grows, he will become more and more difficult too. It is the nature of how it works. Additionally, it is not really possible to have a relationship with someone who is addicted. They simply aren't up to the task. Who you are dealing with is the addiction, not the person. You would be best advised to leave, or if you must stay and make an attempt to help-- hand him the local number to Narcotics Anonymous just before you walk out the door on your way to an Al-Anon meeting (unless there is a Narc-Anon available). Those who are sick and crazy from addiction make those around them sick and crazy too. You both need help. That you posted here is a good thing but take some action, okay?

[ordinaryguy]

Regrettably, this kind of behavior is very typical for a substance (and people) abuser. You have to own up to your part in enabling his behavior and learn to stop doing it. This is not an easy thing to do. Have you tried Al-Anon?

[talaniman]

Get out now. This is not a relationship, and he is SICK. You cannot help by staying, and it doesn't matter how much you care, so get out or he will drag you through his personal hell. Sadly HE is the only one who can change things, so save the words, and get to safety. You are in danger.

[Makiavelic76]

I can understand your situation here prefect clear, I'm going through with a girlfriend who has a drug habbit from the start on our relationship, and the only thing I could get from that, is to develop a different kind of addiction on her. That's called CODEPENDENCY, which bassically refers to turn yourself on some kind of Angel Guard and believe me that start to take place inside of all your lifestyle, so in some little time you realize that your life has shorten to your addiction on "making him change his ways".
In my case, I took a quick move on the start of the relationship claiming that I won't tolerate her addiction if she wants to get more serious, but that my friend depends on the level of his/her Sickness. And you can never be really sure if the person has stopped until she/he realize and acepts and go over to get the professional help they need.
I would recommed you to read any book on Codependency, and to visit a Al-Anon meetings on your own is a necessary plus.
For now, don't let those abuses (verbally and emotionaly) nest inside of your good self esteem core. The personality of an addict is always in denial because they always need to lie to others and themselves, so they won't admit any fault or guilt (usually it's always somebody else fault on anything) so they can justify what they doing..
That's the huge dilema, see it?. please take some action, I'm doing the same...
If you want, you can read my story at:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...-ii-48258.html
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...our-42702.html

We'll be around..

[jeffatl]

GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT! My ex best buddy was addicted to drugs/booze and put his girlfriend through HELL and back... He needs to get better... NOT to be in a relationship.

[p42once]

It is all up to whoever is addicted to realize that it does affect the mind. Rehabilitation is extremely hard but it is possible to STOP. I have been addicted to cigarrettes since age 17 and I haven't smoked for about 4 days! I told myself to quit 2 weeks ago but 2 days ago I had to smoke because I was drinking... but 4 days!

[momincali]

When you say he is doing this to us, who are you referring to, do you have a kid??

You're not tied to this guy in any way or form. Leave him. If he wants to make you a priority, he will find a way to leave this killer habit.

[Wildcat21]

DEAL BREAKER!!

Only he can want to stop.

Do not ever date someone on drugs.

Let me guess - he lies to you all the time.

This is REALLY unhealthy for BOTH of you.

Break up - tell him get a couselour and get into rehab - yesterday!!

People on Drugs are not right menatally! They generally don't know even right from wrong.

How charming - do you share this info with your family??


YOU'RE WITH THIS CREEP WHY??

[talaniman]

The OP hasn't been back in more than a month.