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gomer666 · Mar 13, 2010, 06:48 AM

I have been in a relationship for two years now, and the guy I am with is a very good guy. He does so much for me and I don't know what I would do without him. However, he has very low self esteem and is very negative along with has a constant need to spend more time together. We both work full time but I also go to school and have a daughter to take care of. So as you can see I am limited on my time. We spend everyday together, have dinner, watch TV, talk, but yet he still wants to spend more time with me and I just don't feel like I have it. Sometimes I feel like he would be happy if I just quit school and sat at home so I would have the time, but honestly that would not be in my best interest. Every time I try to talk to him about this issue it escalates into a huge yelling match and by the time that is over, I just want to end the relationship. I know he is a wonderful man, however I get tired of stroking his ego and telling him what a great person he really is because he just never believes it anyway and the time I do spend with him just doesn't seem to be enough for him. I don't know what to do, I don't know if I should end it and move on or work on it and see if we can make it work. The effort of dealing with him sometimes just feels overwhelming to me, and his roller coaster emotions can become too much, sometimes I wonder if he is a woman instead of a man. What should I do?

amicon · Mar 13, 2010, 07:20 AM

So what's so wonderful about this guy?

From the way you tell it,there seems to be no real communication nor any understanding of your need for me time and bounderies.

If he has low selfesteem issues he should consider therapy.

This doesn't seen like an equal relationship,it appears you're stuck with a clingy dependent child.

talaniman · Mar 13, 2010, 08:42 AM

Is this guy so wonderful he is worth putting up with his selfish immature, needy ways, and yelling instead of communication?

Do you really need what he does for you in exchange for his behavior?

If so quit complaining about the bad side of Mr. Wonderful.

We all have a bad side (even You), so its up to you whether he is worth putting up with.

91s10blazer · Mar 13, 2010, 09:35 AM

My advice is to write down the things he is doing wrong and the things you need from the relationship and make it very clear to him if these things don't change/happen you are going to leave and give him a time frame maybe if you don't see a change in two weeks your going to pull the plug. If this doesn't motivate him to get his butt in gear then he isn't worth it.

I wish · Mar 13, 2010, 09:52 AM

From what you wrote, I can't tell if he's wonderful or a "hands full" for you.

If he's really that wonderful, why would his issues bother you so much?

It's like saying, I'm always punctual, but sometimes I'm late. So how can you "always" be punctual?

It sounds like it's mostly his problem. He's got a lot of personal issues and it's not going to go away overnight. Furthermore, it might never go away. Is that the kind of man you want in your life?