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logic101 · Mar 12, 2010, 02:00 PM

This girl and I had been together for awhile, in the beginning of our relationships I missed up and went and visit my ex girlfriend. She found out and we almost broke up but thankfully she gave me a chance. Few months later after that incident my ex girlfriend went to my work and she wanted a ride home, she lives 3 hours away from where I lie. I was so stupid to say yes I went and took her home, I forgot my cell phone at my work that night so I didn't get to contact my girlfriend that night. She was so worried about me and all night she was crying, But while the drive with my ex nothing happened I just dropped her off and went back home nothing else happen. I was in a relationship with that girl for about 2 years so she was doing her best to get me back. The next morning I tried talking to my girl but she was mad and ask where I was and stupid me I lied and said I went to help a friend of mine go to the hospital. She didn't believe me but I convinced her and she took me back. Few months later she found out and I thought it was really over. I bigged went on my knees and ask her to give me one last chance, so she did and ever since we had trust problems which I didn't care cause I know I would prove it to her that I am not going to hurt her anymore. Everything went well and we loved each other very much. Then a couple weeks ago we had a fight and we both had a mutual break up. Few days after the break up I wanted her back and I realized that I need her in my life and that I am madly in love with her. When me and her talk she says lets take it slow. She says she loves me but she just wants to take it slow. What does that mean, does it mean that she is with another man, or does she need space. What should I do. What should I say to her. I know we had our differences but when me and her are alone its like the world does not matter and its only me and her. She mean the world to me but if I have no chance of getting back I don't want to waist my time waiting for nothing. Sorry this is long I just want you guys to know the whole problem of the relationships.

artlady · Mar 12, 2010, 02:06 PM

No one can answer those questions except her.
You must communicate with one another if you have any chance of having a healthy relationship.
Tell her what you said here and ask her what she expects from you and discuss what you expect or need from her.
Talk,talk talk! It is the only way you will know what is truly on her mind.

talaniman · Mar 12, 2010, 03:21 PM

Past events have made her suspicious, and it seems trying to cover your tracks looked like lying, so she dumped you, and now what to do?

First you ask her what is this taking it slow stuff mean? She is the only one who knows, and you go from there. And be a better listener ,as this should have been already cleared up.

Now be aware that some girls say this to make you chase them, or see how hard you fight for them, and not always, but usually, they get tired of you making a fool of yourself trying to impress them, so they never take you back.

Ask her what she means, and decide what you want to do about it. Keep in mind, how many times you blew it, to get the reaction you had.

sunsandmoons · Mar 12, 2010, 05:02 PM

Sorry man, but you really shouldn't lie to someone you love.

You've give her reason to mistrust you now, even if you want to prove yourself.

I wish · Mar 12, 2010, 05:17 PM

The others have given you some helpful advice.

I would also add that you've broken the trust a few times now, so you can't expect her to forgive you overnight. It takes a lot of time to rebuild the trust.

If you loved her as much as you say you do, then a timeline shouldn't matter to you. The important thing is that she's willing to continue to talk to you, which means she's still giving you chances to rebuild the trust.

Quit rushing to repair something that takes time.

logic101 · Mar 12, 2010, 05:23 PM

I know she doesn't trust me but I was also there for her when she needed me. I have to go through the bs with her family and all her family do is hurt me emotionally everyday but I stuck with it cause she stuck with what I did to her. I know I shouldn't lie to someone I love but I was desperate I needed a way out and what it did is bite me in my rear. All I could say we had a talk and its not the lie and what I did that's the problem, she just wants to take it slow whatever that means. What does that mean? I love her so much and just taking it slow kills me. What should I do

talaniman · Mar 12, 2010, 06:07 PM

Talk to her honestly, like what you should have been doing in the beginning.

That's what you do now. Not beg, plead, whine, or complain. But simply talk to her.

friend4u178 · Mar 12, 2010, 07:20 PM

Doesn't matter what it means , the fact is you're the one who's lost her trust and that's not something that you can win back overnight. So you have to decide whether your willing to "take it slow" and win that trust back or you take a walk.

coruzzi2 · Mar 12, 2010, 07:44 PM

She's just putting her gurad up now, and its sketchy and doesn't want to get hurt anymore.
She's probably not seeing anyone else, just wants some time to herself and to think things through, but at the same time, not loose you completely.

This is something only time can heal. Just don't let her forget your there for her, and just giver her her time and space.

logic101 · Mar 12, 2010, 08:05 PM

OK so we were txting each other today. And I asked her a question and I said. "are u glad ur not hungry anymore...hahaha" then she replyed with "aha aww thank you" and I said "thank you for what" and then she said "ahahah idk" then I relpyed with "u meant to txt some1 else huh" then she said know I swear, then I ask her if your not why would you laugh and say aww thank u. Then she replyed with I have no idea. What does that mean, it seems like she meant to text it to someone else. Am I over analyzing this or is it really happening is she really talking to someone else. I would give her time and space and I would be there for her but if she is talking to someone else then I won't even bother.

friend4u178 · Mar 12, 2010, 08:10 PM

I have no idea if she's talking to someone else only she would , BUT if you keep questioning her on it that'll push her away for sure. Whether she is or isn't.

CarrotTalker · Mar 12, 2010, 08:12 PM

Originally Posted by logic101

ok so we were txting eachother today. and i asked her a question and i said. "are u glad ur not hungry anymore...hahaha" then she replyed with "aha aww thank you" and i said "thank you for what" and then she said "ahahah idk" then i relpyed with "u meant to txt some1 else huh" then she said knw i swear, then i ask her if ur not y would u laugh and say aww thank u. Then she replyed with i have no idea. What does that mean, it seems like she meant to txt it to some1 else. am i over analyzing this or is it really happening is she really talking to some1 else. i would give her time and space and i would be there for her but if she is talking to some1 else then i wont even bother.

I think you are over thinking it. She was just saying something for the sake of giving a response.

logic101 · Mar 12, 2010, 08:13 PM

What do you mean about the sake of giving a response? Sorry I'm not good at analyzing women

coruzzi2 · Mar 12, 2010, 08:14 PM

Originally Posted by logic101

ok so we were txting eachother today. and i asked her a question and i said. "are u glad ur not hungry anymore...hahaha" then she replyed with "aha aww thank you" and i said "thank you for what" and then she said "ahahah idk" then i relpyed with "u meant to txt some1 else huh" then she said knw i swear, then i ask her if ur not y would u laugh and say aww thank u. Then she replyed with i have no idea. What does that mean, it seems like she meant to txt it to some1 else. am i over analyzing this or is it really happening is she really talking to some1 else. i would give her time and space and i would be there for her but if she is talking to some1 else then i wont even bother.

Hmm.. vverryyy shady.
Just try the no contact rule.

logic101 · Mar 12, 2010, 08:16 PM

What is the no contact rule supposed to do?

talaniman · Mar 12, 2010, 08:21 PM

Originally Posted by logic101
OK so we were txting each other today. And I asked her a question and I said. "are u glad ur not hungry anymore...hahaha" then she replyed with "aha aww thank you" and I said "thank you for what" and then she said "ahahah idk" then I relpyed with "u meant to txt some1 else huh" then she said know I swear, then I ask her if your not why would you laugh and say aww thank u. Then she replyed with I have no idea. What does that mean, it seems like she meant to text it to someone else. Am I over analyzing this or is it really happening is she really talking to someone else. I would give her time and space and I would be there for her but if she is talking to someone else then I won't even bother.

I admit, I have no clue what YOU are talking about! Might be the chat/text, IDK, but it makes no sense. But I am starting to see where the communications breakdown is. Face to face English would help a lot. And some spell check. No wonder your confused.

coruzzi2 · Mar 12, 2010, 08:22 PM

Okay,
This girl wants validation.
That's what most girls seek..
Validation that you're still there..
So that she can do what she wants, and still have you at her feet when she so desires.
And once they get that validation, they're done seeing you try and fight for them. And its on to the next one..

Not contacting will make this backfire. It will make he wonder about you, and worry her a bit.. then she'll snap out of this mode she's in and you'll get some real stuff out of her.

logic101 · Mar 12, 2010, 08:26 PM

OK I just told her that I would wait for her and take it slow and I would not be talking to any girls. Then she replyed saying that she is happy that I said that. Do you think I did the right thing.

talaniman · Mar 12, 2010, 08:33 PM

Let us know how that works out for you.

friend4u178 · Mar 12, 2010, 08:35 PM

Originally Posted by logic101

ok i just told her that i would wait for her and take it slow and i would not be talking to any girls. Then she replyed saying that she is happy that i said that. do you think i did the right thing.

Sounds like the right decision , now stick to it and don't pester her.