[DesperateIndian]

Hi All,
I have a weird problem here. I've been friends with this girl since almost more than a year now. We've become very close now(She's not my girlfriend). I mean, we like each other, love to be with each other, and I, personally can't be more happier when she's with me. My problem is that, she has a friend, this guy from her college, with whom she's been very close before I met her. She was very close with this guy too. She doesn't interact with this guy much these days. But sometimes, in the middle of our conversation, I somehow end up asking her this question if she trusts me more or him, or things like who means more to her.. him or me.. This guy has known her for more time than I know her. I don't understand how to stop feeling jealous about her past relationship. I'm a guy and I'm usually not supposed to have such thoughts. Most of the time I'm fine, but sometimes I end up having an argument with her about this. She tells me not to compare me with her past relationships and I want to listen to her. But sometimes it slips out. What should I do to stop it? I don't want to be possessive about this issue.

[friend4u178]

Well you either get over it and stop asking her or your going to push her away.

Nothing more annoying than someone constantly asking about something that's none of their business.

[TrueFaith]

We can't control how we feel
But we can control how we act

There is no way to stop what you are feeling sadly that is something we can't control you can put it out of your mind though when it comes up

I think the real reason you are feeling like this.. you probable have feelings for her.
And you have no right to judge or even talk about her past relationships remember that

Even if you was her boyfriend what's past is past.
And you having a trust contest with the past guys is not going to change anything she will do what she wants to do

What you should do is really look at yourself and your feelings toawrds this women.
Can you honestly be friends with someone when you have those kinds of feelings for them?
And don't tell me you like her as a friend because for you to get online come on here.. go to all this effort
There is something so much more to your feelings..

And that's the case
You really like this women
And you hate the fact that she probable goes out with guys that don't treat her right..

Well my advice is this

Talk to her about your feelings.. see if there is something between you guys.

If there is not.. then I would go no contact
Because this friend thing does not seem to be doing you any good what so ever

All the best

[DesperateIndian]

I used to stay with two other roommates. Today they're moving out to a new home with another friend of their's. Now, I'm alone in this house. I have nobody. Fought very badly with my best friend. Don't have anyone to talk to now.

[justcurious55]

Any chance of you making up with your best friend?

Have you started looking for new roomates yet? Is that even something you're interested in, a new roommate?

[DesperateIndian]

any chance of you making up with your best friend?

have you started looking for new roomates yet? is that even something you're interested in, a new roomate?

We still are paying the rent for three more weeks. Im planning to shift to a new place in another two weeks. I tried calling her. She's kept her mobile switched off... bcos of the fight I guess :(

[justcurious55]

Well, maybe some time apart is good. Maybe if she's still not talking to you in a few weeks you can try sending her a card or email telling her how you still want to be friends and work things out. Sometimes alone time can be good too. Sounds like you're renting now. You can spend some time cleaning it up before you leave. And packing your stuff up for the new place. And maybe some time to curl up and watch some movies or read some good books.

[DesperateIndian]

Thanks mate :)

[justcurious55]

Feel free to hang around here too. Its amazing how much time you can spend here... haha

[amicon]

Make plans for your future and go out and make new friends.
Good luck!

[Devorameira]

You may have to just admit that it's over and move on with your life. I know that it is easier said than done, but you can't accomplish anything without putting out a little effort.

Get out there and mingle with some new people.

[racquel58]

look towards it as a new start! You may eventually patch stuff up, but maybe time apart is good! Go out with new friends, join a club, join a gym, find new hobbies etc. you will soon find new friends! And just look at the past as a fun stage in life that has to change as you grow! WAY more fun ahead of you now! Nothing is stopping you =o)

[DesperateIndian]

We fought a lot. Today she says ours is a 'fuc**ng' relationship and wants to end it. Last week she said she loves me. I was very happy. I stay in UK, all my friends are in India. I have nobody to even talk to. Its going to become so hard... I miss her all the time.

[talaniman]

We all miss sex when its gone, but cheer up, I think its time to broaden your horizons, and get some new friends, and activities in your life any way.

Join a club maybe? Take a class, bowl, throw darts. The options are endless.

Things you should be doing anyway.

[amicon]

Do you work/study in the UK?
If so,try getting to know people you meet every day.

Be active in meeting new people and work on moving on and healing from this breakup.