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tickle · Mar 10, 2010, 04:22 AM

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

oh, well I guess we read it wrong. Sorry. Kind of confusing the way I read it.

Guess I read it wrong too. But fact remains, we have a very upset young lady here. Her feelings of doubt though are not uncommon. She needs to know she is not alone while in the midst of family.

Tick

Aurora_Bell · Mar 10, 2010, 05:30 AM

YEs I agree Tick!

J_9 · Mar 10, 2010, 05:57 AM

Unfortunately this is very common during pregnancy. It usually happens nearer the end. We become afraid that we won't be good parents, that we can't afford the baby, that we won't love the child we made.

It's hormonal for the most part, but the fears are very real, especially for the first baby. Most times these fears dissipate when we see our child for the first time.

The OP really needs to talk to her OB about these fears, as many times they do carry over to the post partum period when it does become post partum depression. If the doctor knows about this now, he/she can be better prepared if depression does occur.

Aurora_Bell · Mar 10, 2010, 06:35 AM

I was waitressing, and I don't know if this was really happening, but I swore every customer I had, looked on my ring finger to see if I was married. And it seemed like everyone wanted to know how my "husband" felt about the pregnancy, especially little old women. For the most part I would say oh he's excited, but I really did feel that they could see through my little lie. I felt like everyone was judging me.
Some people I would tell "oh he's not around" and I was sure I was seeing pity and a little bit of self righteousness in their eyes as they quietly judged me.

I'm sure it didn't help matters that I looked like I was 16 (I was 23).
When my daughter was born, and I got to hold her and she looked at me, all the self doubt, and self pity just melted away. It was replaced with un conditional love for this beautiful little girl I was holding in my arms. I knew it was me and her, forever. She is 2 now, every day I look at her and watch her grow, I am SO proud to be her mom single or not.

I don't like to play the single mom card, I mean I put myself in this place. No one else to blame.

Pink it looks like you have a wonderful husband who wants to stand by your side. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it, don't be afraid to discuss your fears with your family and friends. Things will work out for you. And only you can make the decision that is right for you!

And please,please, please, talk to your doctor about how you are feeling! It's completley natural to be feeling the way you are! There are LOTS of other girls who felt tis way.

pink_poodle · Mar 10, 2010, 01:20 PM

I will talk to my doctor thank you guys for all your support. By just writing the post I feel better. I guess I just needed to let something's out. I feel better that you all aren't upset with me for feeling this way.

J_9 · Mar 10, 2010, 01:23 PM

We aren't upset with you dear. What you are experiencing is actually very common. You can't help the way you feel right now, your hormones are running your life at the moment.

Yes, speak to your doctor, let him/her know how you are feeling, there is help out there for you.

pink_poodle · Mar 10, 2010, 05:27 PM

My mom just called and said she thinks I planned this pregnancy and that I want this pregnancy which is completely untrue. She said if I didn't want a baby that I would have tired to prevent it. Im so embarrassed my body is ruined for the rest of my life. Im about 30 pounds heavier all my friends are getting ready for spring break. NO one is going to take me seriously or have respect for me. I think I'm just going to get a divorce and give the baby to my husband. Im unhappy and upset that people think I planned him.

J_9 · Mar 10, 2010, 05:31 PM

Okay, your body is not ruined for life. I've had 4 children and I still look great!

Tell your mother that if she cannot support you, you don't need her in your life.

Is your husband supportive of you? That's all that matters. Forget your immature friends.

If you divorce and give the baby up, you will NEVER regret it.

You need to get to the doctor tomorrow and talk to him/her about your thoughts. You can't get in there soon enough.

Now listen to me little lady! You will be a great mother! Your friends and family are not supportive of you, but you have support in your husband, and here.

You are 30 pounds heavier because you are pregnant. That's good, that's okay. Tell them all to go jump off a bridge, you don't need them.

Aurora_Bell · Mar 10, 2010, 05:40 PM

Exactly, want to see a pic of me pregnant? I went from 120 lbs to... well HUGE! Pregnant women a cute! Your mom is probably just a bit upset right now, give it some time and she'll calm down enough and will listen. And if she doesn't then like J_9 said, if she can't be supportive then you don't need her in your life!

J_9 · Mar 10, 2010, 05:41 PM

The last thing you need in your life right now is negativity. Get rid of all of the negative people and embrace the positive people.

pink_poodle · Mar 10, 2010, 05:43 PM

She is supportive. Its just my family keeps rubbing it in how I ruined my life. And I know it I don't need anyone telling me I've been carrying around the shame for 7 months now and its not the baby's fault.

J_9 · Mar 10, 2010, 05:55 PM

How have you ruined your life? I did not go to college, had 4 children then went back to school at the age of 38 to receive my degree. I am a registered nurse, and not to blow my horn, but one of the best in my unit.

You didn't ruin your life darlin', you just took a little detour.

Aurora_Bell · Mar 10, 2010, 06:00 PM

Did you mean you ARE a registerd nurse?

Pink I didn't go to university, I am a single mom, but I work for an accounting firm doing office admin, making pretty good money too. I bought my own house, my own car, and I even have my own camp. Your life is not ruined, you just have a NEW life beginning!

tickle · Mar 10, 2010, 06:03 PM

Originally Posted by J_9

If you divorce and give the baby up, you will NEVER regret it.

J you got excited getting your point across and I agree with everything you posted, but I think you meant to say here something like 'if you divorce and give the baby up, you will FOREVER regret it'. Correct me if I'm wrong. I read it a few times to make sure.

Tick

pink_poodle · Mar 10, 2010, 06:05 PM

Because I'm 18 and pregnant. I live in a dorm where I'm constantly reminded of what I gave up. My freedom, college life, road trips. I can't just go out now after this semester I can't cant live in the dorms. Nothings going to be the same I can't ever get married in a church. I know how people look down on teen moms I can't tell my boyfriend how I feel because I feel like ill crush him. Hes the reason I kept the baby. I should have kept my legs closed I can't stop crying I'm so unhappy

Aurora_Bell · Mar 10, 2010, 06:05 PM

I thought the same thing, but I was like, ahh she fix it lol...

J_9 · Mar 10, 2010, 06:10 PM

Originally Posted by tickle

J you got excited getting your point across and I agree with everything you posted, but I think you meant to say here something like 'if you divorce and give the baby up, you will FOREVER regret it'. Correct me if I'm wrong. I read it a few times to make sure.

tick

You are not wrong. I did misspeak.

J_9 · Mar 10, 2010, 06:18 PM

I thought you said you were married?

pink_poodle · Mar 10, 2010, 06:20 PM

I am married

pink_poodle · Mar 10, 2010, 06:22 PM

It was at a house not a church. My point is I had expectations for myself. Im disapointed in me. I wish there was some way of reversing my situation and doing things all over again