Check out some similar questions!

cowboys24 · Mar 8, 2010, 06:57 PM

IS 20 to young to get married , when we both have the same and or similar goals in life, My boyfriend and I have completely fallen in love , he is 22 and I am 20 we have the same goals and ambitions in life , education is a big part of our life because we want to make a good life for us. We share the same religious beliefs , we have the same morals, we are big family people. He and I are the same in almost every aspect as far as life marriage , goals ,ambitions, religion(christian) we have the same passions, he is my best friend. We even share the same birth day and we are talking about how we are trying to make sure we finish our school first before we get married of course . We are also talking about being financially stable before we get married and live to gether . He is my best friend in life . He is everything I've always wantd , we do argue sometimes but its mostly because we are both pursuing our education in different states it's a promise we keep not to stop each other from fofilling our goals and the distance fustrates us because we want to be together ? So what do you think guys ?

JudyKayTee · Mar 8, 2010, 07:01 PM

I know people who married very young and are still married. It's like any other age. I also know people who married very young and are divorced.

I think it's a mistake for a female to marry before she has an established career, can support herself in the event life twists and turns.

Some of what you list as points toward marriage (such as the same birthdate) make me question your maturity - I see that more as coincidence than being the same in an aspect of life.

What do your friends say? We don't know you are simply strangers reading your post. And your families?

cowboys24 · Mar 8, 2010, 07:09 PM

[
I just find it interesting that we have the same birthday ? But as far as marriage before my career, excuse my language but hell no. I come first in my life I don't and will not depend on him my life is my own and so is his that's why I mentioned that we want to pursue our careers before we get married .I mean it's a nice theory that love conquers all but its not true you have to rationalize everything out before hand . So what I'm tryig to actually say is getting engaged to young is what I meant .

cowboys24 · Mar 8, 2010, 07:14 PM

Also one thing I do love about him is that he is not stopping me from doing what I wanted to do , when I mentioned that I mite be attending law school even though he knows that means its going to take longer for us to get married , he says if you truly love some one you will support there goals in life . By the way I don't want to get married now maybe 22 or 23 . After my career is established .

Gemini54 · Mar 8, 2010, 07:25 PM

Although I partly agree with JKT, even though you're 20 you will obviously know that the incidence of unsuccessful young marriages is far higher.

So it actually isn't like any other age because people are still forming themselves, maturing and developing in their 20's. That's why so many young marriages often don't work.

Because these experiences are new when you're young, they feel really intense and so I can understand that this person just feels like 'the one'.

I met someone in my 40's that felt like this - in fact our birthdays were a couple of days apart - and I know how intense the connection can feel.

But, I waited 4 years to get married simply because I wanted to make sure, and I wanted both of us to be financially stable.

What I'd suggest is learn to know each other through bad times as well as good times (that's the real test!) and get your education and your finances in order. Plan to be independent as well as together.

You've got heaps of time on your side, so what's the rush? Enjoy being with each other and enjoy the connection that you have NOW rather than rushing into the future.

cowboys24 · Mar 8, 2010, 07:29 PM

I understand I know I mean I learned from my friendws mistakes that rushing isn't good . I love him So I don't want to rush I want to do it the right way where we both have our lives together , doing it any other way would be a disaster , I don't want to be like my friends and feel trapped , because I couldn't be patient