[xbabycakesxx]

I'm seeing this guy who is older then me. I'm 17 and he's 27, the age gap doesn't really bother me but I think it bothers him. On a few occasions he has said that he can't do it anymore, but then changes his mind and says he wants me and wants to make it work. My family don't know about him yet, because I don't want to tell them in case they don't like it. Also don't want to tell them in case we don't work out and we break up a few weeks later. I'm not sure what to do about it, I do like him and he says he likes me. I just need sum advice on what to do about it and stuff

[HistorianChick]

What does a 27 year old man see in a high school girl?

If you're having sex with him, this could be illegal (depends on your state).

Why can't you date guys your own age?

Personally, I think your parents would be quite upset if they found out.

Advice on what to do? Leave the man alone. I know that you're probably feeling special that a man likes you, but xbabycakesxx, leave this man alone. I can't imagine why he would be looking for a high school girl.

[jaime90]

I agree with the above, what does a 27 year old man see in a 17 year old? How much do you want to bet he's looking for sex? There is a HUGE maturity difference between a 17 year old girl and an almost 30 year old man. Not only is there a big probability that it is illegal, but it's also disgusting. It's unfortunate that you may have to be the mature one, and step up to the plate here and call it off. But I wouldn't hesitate to put a stop to it, this guy is probably just in it for sex.

[redhead1992]

Hun, I'm 17 and I too like older guys. But I would not date a guy ten years older than me. I mean that's just really gross. He's probably looking to soon start a family. Do you want to be a mommy at 17, because I know I don't. Be smart, hun. End it.

[Fr_Chuck]

When you are 27 and he is 37 it is not that big of issue,

Let me see, he would look pretty going to the senior prom, Do people ask if he is your dad when you go with him to your high school football games?

He is in my opinion a pediphile and is just sick.

[ScottGem]

When you are 25 and he's 35, it won't matter. But now it does. I understand his discomfort and you should break it off. Wait a few years until you are in college and see if he's still interested.

[Gemini54]

Well, there are already a few red flags.

You don't want to tell your family, he isn't sure about the age gap or the relationship... not a good start I would have thought.

Ten years is a lot at your age. His needs, expectations and life experience would be very different to yours, I would imagine.

It doesn't sound like a comfortable fit, with both of you feeling uncertain.

[dynocompe]

Definitely a pedifile, even if he is 35 , and your 25, I don't think its right. When he is 80, and your 70, that is abit better, because I can understand a lot of women his age might be passing away by then and he might have to go younger. Lol

[ScottGem]

Definately a pedifile, even if he is 35 , and your 25, i dont think its right. When he is 80, and your 70, that is abit better, because I can understand alot of women his age might be passing away by then and he might have to go younger. lol

Huh? Did you read that HE is the one uncomfortable with the relationship? Was there any mention of sexual activity? A 17 yer old is just about physically mature at this point. Pedophiles generally go for children who's bodies are prepubescent or in the developmental stage. Please be careful tossing around terms like that. If you are going to use such terms learn what they mean and how to spell them.

[xbabycakesxx]

I don't think he's just wiv me for sex though, because we've done it like once and didn't do it straight away. So if he was just interested in sex he wudnt still be wiv me now

[neverme]

I agree with most of the other posters to say that this relationship really cannot go anywhere, as Fr Chuck put it how would he look going to your senior prom??

Time to move on this can't possibly go anywhere. The fact that a man has had sex with a girl, and that is what you two are defined as, at all is not right. Depending on where you live it is not only not right but not legal.

There are obvious reasons you may be ignoring for why you are not telling your family. Think about it... if this was all fine in your head you wouldn't be on here asking if it was OK, and you would have told your family without fear.

Best of Luck.

[jaime90]

Now you've had sex. This is illegal, and is pretty much considered rape. It doesn't matter if it only happened once, this is just sick. There is NO other reason someone his age would be with someone your age BUT for SEX... STAY AWAY before you end up hurt, or in court.

[xbabycakesxx]

Its not illegal. I'm 17 I liv in the uk. Its legal for me to ave sex

[jaime90]

Still doesn't matter. This guy is a creep. Any guy who says he doesn't want to have sex, is a liar.

[dynocompe]

A PEDIPHILE Is a adult who likes children, where it isn't accepted by his current society!
A 27yr old dating a 17yr is not accepted!
PEDIPHILE!
Cases like this, the girl willll just be younger next time. And they did have sex. Stick to your computer parts.

[ScottGem]

Like I said you need to do some research. If you spell it correctly you may find some facts. The general definition of a pedophile is an adult attracted to YOUNG children. Seventeen is not a young child. Pedophiles are generally attracted to prepubescent children or those entering puberty. The man described by the OP does NOT fit the profile of a pedophile. And that they had sex was not revealed until after your post and my response.

I agree that a 27-17 relationship is not acceptable in western society. And I agree the OP should not continue this relationship. But to brand the man as a pedophile based on what has been posted here is irresponsible.

[dynocompe]

Does not have to be a YOUNG child, but just a child!
Perhaps you like little children? Not sure why you are sticking up for this pediphile. I find it just plain weird.
As to what has been posted here, he is very much a pediphile in my eyes, they have had sex! Her parents don't know about him! WHy? Because they both know its WRONG


Chuck agrees he is a pediphile as well, maybe bark up his tree as well.

[ScottGem]

Pedophilia - paedophilia, or pædophilia (see spelling differences), is the paraphilia of being sexually attracted primarily or exclusively to pre-pubescent children. Persons with this attraction are called pedophiles.. .
www.statemaster.com/encyclopedia/Pedophile

Pedophilia - Sexual attraction to a child; clinically, a person sixteen years of age or older who is at least five years older than the child.. .
www.reasoned.org/glossary.htm

Pedophilia (or paedophilia) is a psychological disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a sexual preference for prepubescent children
Pedophilia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Pedophile: an adult who is sexually attracted to young children.
Pedophile | Define Pedophile at Dictionary.com




And finally:
Pedophile Definition Parents Against Pedophiles
Which describes characteristics of a pedophile that do NOT fit the OP here.

Your personal attacks against me are out of line. I have not attacked you, just your branding of this person without enough data to go on. Chuck was different in stating that it was his "opinion". You have declared it as a fact when there is not enough evidence to do so. You have also used the comment feature incorrectly. I did not give you a negative comment, yet you chose to give me one without data to back it up. I've given you enough links to back up what I said. Any further personal attacks will be dealt with.

[dynocompe]

Mine was my opinion as I did not know the disagree button meant it had to be a FACT! I just learned this today. Also 16 yrs of age, and 5 years older , so 17 and ten yrs older is OK, because she is one year older! I don't think so. And I really don't care who made up the word pediphile and gave the meaning for it, because a 27yr and a 17yr is sick and disgusting! There is no word in the dictionary that can describe how wrong it is. Also the meaning of the word pediphile is very OPINIONATED anyway, the person who wrote that defination, that is his opinion on a pediphile status! There is no AGE limit you must hit before you are clear status from a pediphile! The AGE limit is what is ACCEPTED by SOCIETY!! And 27 and 17 yr is not accepted clearly by the majority of society!
{personal attack removed-<>} I am done arguing with you

"In law enforcement, the term "pedophile" is loosely used without formal definition to describe those convicted of child sexual abuse or the sexual abuse of a minor, including both prepubescent children and pubescent or post-pubescent adolescents"
pedophile

Noun: an adult who is sexually attracted to children [syn: {paedophile}]
To me she is a child, but maybe this will mmake you happy! He is a Ephebophile, go Google that

[ScottGem]

First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

The definition I cited said the perpertrator has to be over 16 and five years older. Which means they are talking an 11 year old as the victim. Yes, many legal definitions define a pedophile as an adult having sex with a minor. BUT, in most areas the age of consent is 16. Therefore, yet again, it shows pedophilia defined as sex with a younger child. And since, most of the world does give the age of consent at 16 then that would seem to be somewhat accepted by society. I do agree that the definitions vary. But most mental health professionals define it as I did.

I do agree with you that most of WESTERN society would not support a 27-17 relationship. And there is good reason for that. Please not, I have not, in any way supported the OP's relationship. I told her right off the bat that she should cut it off. The issue, between you and I is that you emphatically branded the 27 yr old as a pedophile without enough evidence to to support it. Again that is irresponsible.

I don't know why you are so adamant on this subject. I've provided sufficient proof (notice I provided links for the quotes I made, you did not) that supports my position as at least equal, if not better, than yours. So I get it you think such an age gap is disgusting. If you would check my stand on this issue, I have never supported relationships between an adult and a minor. So your attacks on me are not valid. I stand behind my position that there is not enough in this thread to brand the 27 a pedophile.