[gardemanger]

Hello all, I am a 23 year old female who as been in a long term relationship with my boyfriend for approximately five years. He is 26. I know that there are a lot of similar questions out there, so allow me to point out a few differences. I moved in with him about three years ago, at the time we were living with his mother. As usual, there was a bunch of sex in the beginning, and then not so much. He blamed it on a variety of things; didn't want to do it with his mom there, tired, etc. but eventually decided that it could all be chalked up to an addiction to a game. Well, he quit the game, by this time he had gained a significant amount of weight, and I gained a bit myself, but not much (10#?). Anyhow, sex still didn't really exist, maybe once every couple of months. I began to get depressed, didn't understand, all the usual symptoms. I looked for help and was told to address the issue to him, and did. And have many times now. Nothing has changed. To date is has been over two years since we have had sex.

On top of that, it has been maybe a year or more since we have made out, or anything of the sort. I used to try to do the stimulation thing with him, and just give him BJs, but he said that he wasn't interested in reciprocation, so I stopped doing that as well. I am on my last leg here. There is a giant void in our relationship, and I am feeling coldly toward him. I know he's not cheating on me (yet), as we moved from our previous home and now live in a new city. He has made every excuse in the book, and about three weeks ago I made "the ultimatum" with him, and told him that if things didn't change, it was over. We live together, and have lived together for over three years. Our stuff is kind of tied up together, and he says he moved "for me". He won't be alone, he has friends and his mother here to help him if I do leave, but I just don't know what to do. I am frustrated and really feeling like quitting. Any advice before I take the last plunge?

[450donn]

Well, although I do not condone living together outside of marriage I guess in this case it was a good thing. He is not interested in you anymore. Time to cut your losses and move out and move on.

[Gemini54]

I guess my question to you is - do you really want to continue in the relationship?

If the answer is yes, then by all means give him the ultimatum and suggest that unless he comes to counseling with you, you're out of there.

If the answer is no, then why are you staying? You appear to have given it your best shot and he's just not here with you.

In any case it sounds as if the outcome may be the same. He's uninterested and full of excuses and you're tired and frustrated.

Sometimes the way is clear - is there any point in staying if there is no reciprocity... why don't you both graciously decide to call it a day?

[bulldoglover1]

Heyyy woman I'm 23 and my man is 23 I've been with him for over 5 years and the first 3 were awesome emotionally physically and a ton of kinky naughty sex and it was awesome best man I've ever been with my entire life. First man I truly know I love and its not just an irrational thinking I'm in love you know. Well just before our five year was justaround the corner I had found out he had moved in with his cousin a girl and her roommate a female he's known his whole life I guess they are were cool together. Anyway he moved into the living room until he could get anew place and then began to move into his cousin's roommates room with that female roommate and they began an intimant relationship for only a week or so they both said that I believed her because she was scared less and knew I just derserved to know the truth but his cowardly said he was going to right before the night was over and this had happened three months prior so why he couldn't do it three months somewhere in that time and tell me to make me not look like an idiot with the female you know but anyway we still do not have sex and he makes all the excusess in the world to not have sex and I know he's OK cleanwise with std's I made him check and then he's been with me from thatday on since he moved out of their apartment I can't help but hold a grudge against those two females knowing I was his girlfriend of almost five years at the time that's messed up on the both male and female. But yes I would also like to know what I can do to spice us up in that area because were young but don't really drink maybe every blue moon ahah were nerddy hott babes :)! Eheh andywho I hope me and gemini54 can find answers to why our men aren't giving us what all woman need to let some frustration out because we always would like to not fail on the faithful end of things I don't believe its right and I still question if I was stupid to stay with him it took time before I said we can start back fresh and see how you show me you love me because. I don't think he understood I'm dead serious head over heels and I'm not restriction type of female and I don't believe I should be his babysitter or anything he's his own person as am I we work well together and I just wish he;d see I'm a pretty good catch! Anyway anyyy good adive anyone??

[smoothy]

You did notice this poster had ONE single post on FEB 10, 2010 and hasn't been back in the last 2 years.