[hikitteh]

Hey

My boyfriend and I have been together for about two years and our sex life has gotten worse, mind you there have been things going on in our lives and stress. But I always seem to want it more than he does. Recently, I've been lucky to get it once a week and I usually prefer twice to three times a week.

I know that he's been looking at porn while I'm away, but doesn't show interest in me when I either rub against him, cuddle, kiss, etc. In fact, sometimes he just acts like he doesn't want me to kiss him or touch him. Then, sometimes he'll act more cuddly.

Even during sex I feel like he's not putting in the effort he used to. I still try to do all kinds of things, but he just seems like he's not there or like he doesn't care much. I've brought it up, maybe not such a good idea, but he denies what I say, shuts down or gets angry. I don't know how to approach this, how to feel, what I should do.

Sometimes I really want to have sex and just find someone else who will please me. Is this wrong? I do love him, but I don't know if he's attracted to me anymore, or if he has a bit of a problem with intimacy or what. Can someone please give me some insight into what is going on?

I find that I've been getting frustrated and crying over the issue because he said that I make sex feel like a chore. I used to tell him I craved more sex, but then he started with that, so I told him no more nagging and apologized. Now I don't nag or anything, I just use the hints that I mentioned and if nothing happens, nothing happens. I still feel like he thinks that sex with me is a chore because I randomly told him that I was horny and he said something about "not having to schedule it". I was only saying what I was feeling and I told him "I'm not obligating you to anything! I was just saying what was on my mind."

Please help. Any input is very appreciated. I've been really upset over this and I don't know how to approach the situation. :(

[Brofaux]

There is a time in any couple's relationship, usually past the 2-3 year line, when sex life starts slowing down. This isn't abnormal.

Its an interesting idea in males, where they put their "best effort forward" during the beginning of the relationship, or when they are with a new partner, but then things slow down.

It could be also that there are other problems in the relationship that need to be handled, more subliminal things.

Try to make him understand exactly how you feel, and if he still doesn't get it, he might not be the right guy for you. Don't be afraid of breaking up with him, if that's what you have to do.

[metallicaxox]

I know how you feel. I am going through the same thing. The only difference is that we live together now. Sometimes he says he will have sex with me, and then he says he too tired or something. I do have a vibrator but its not the same thing, does the job, but its not the same.

The only thing I can really say is maybe see how it goes. Suggest a weekend together, go camping or something. Do something where you two can be alone and see what he does then. You can only try :)

Good luck!

[Vinj]

Maybe try a different approach. Wear something sexy or revealing. Also it helps if you know how to get him into the mood.