Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    Geiger's Avatar
    Geiger Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 2, 2010, 01:02 PM
    How long after a break up to try to talk to him
    My boyfriend dumped me at the weekend over a stupid argument. He has removed all photos from Facebook, changed his relationship status and given me back all my stuff in just 2 days.
    I still love him though and he still 'likes' my activities, texts me. I am so confused. Is it over or not?
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Feb 2, 2010, 01:08 PM

    Sure seems that it's over, don't worry about that Facebook stuff, it really has no meaning. Delete him as a friend and start no contact, you will heal in time. Don't rush it
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Feb 2, 2010, 01:14 PM

    Ignore him and his texts and disappear from his life and never contact him again.

    You never let someone dump you and act like its okay. Are you crazy??
    Geiger's Avatar
    Geiger Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Feb 2, 2010, 02:03 PM

    Yeah I guess, its just so much happened between us, such a history I can't believe its over. He still tells me when our favorite program is on, called when I went away on holiday yesterday just to check he could contact me.
    mistyjane's Avatar
    mistyjane Posts: 271, Reputation: 59
    Full Member
     
    #5

    Feb 2, 2010, 02:21 PM

    If all he founds interesting to do after breakup is rushing and changing his Facebook status and delate photos... It is immature. He dumped you over something stupid. Please do you think someone who loves and care for you would do this?NO
    Calling to check if he can contact you on holiday? Sounds like he doesn't want you to be able to take a break from him, enjoy yourself and find out how much you can have fun wihout him.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #6

    Feb 2, 2010, 02:24 PM
    Keeping in touch with you after dumping you works great for him, and his ego, but be honest, what does it do for your ego, dignity, self respect, and well being??

    Accepting bad behavior, brings more bad behavior!
    Geiger's Avatar
    Geiger Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    Feb 3, 2010, 04:10 AM

    Thank you so much everyone. Had a great night out last night with my girl friends and am getting stuck into my holiday. Really appreciate all your advice, it sure has helped :) You all are doing great things for people and you certainly did for me x
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #8

    Feb 3, 2010, 05:47 AM

    Enjoy more good nights out and have a great holiday.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #9

    Feb 3, 2010, 10:13 AM

    The early stages of a break up can be really tough, especially when you have a lot of history, but time does heal all wounds.

    Stay busy and keep moving forward. Don't look back.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #10

    Feb 3, 2010, 11:05 AM

    I am glad you are having fun. I hope you have a great holiday. :)

    When you have the moments of weakness where you feel like you have to contact him, keep this thought in mind: He not only sounds immature but he sounds like he is trying to control how you deal with the break-up.

    He breaks up with you, makes it 'public', gives your stuff back and expects you to put up with it and still be friendly with him. You should be free to heal and move on in a way that works for you. By going No Contact and having absolutely no communication with him (don't answer calls, delete messages and texts, de-friend him, etc.), you are taking back control.

    Good luck. :)
    Geiger's Avatar
    Geiger Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #11

    Feb 4, 2010, 03:20 AM
    We are now just friends. Apparently we get on better this way. Well I am not prepared to be this way with him, my emotions are still too raw. He appears to have forgotten all of his 'feelings' for me so probably never had any. I have decided to not have any contact. He needs to realise he can't pick and chose when he's with me. I have got to move on, not keep messing with my head.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #12

    Feb 4, 2010, 03:49 AM

    Good decision-no contact and heal from the breakup.
    Have you read the advice in the stickies at the top of the relationship page.
    neverme's Avatar
    neverme Posts: 1,430, Reputation: 270
    Ultra Member
     
    #13

    Feb 4, 2010, 03:55 AM

    Take back your power, seems like this guy expected to just walk in and out of your life and change his relationship with you as and when he pleased.

    I'd have a few choice words for him!?

    But then I'd take a breath, tell myself how much better I am than this trivial BS and remember that my life, emotions and thoughts do not revolve around him.

    You're doing great, it'd not easy but you are on to a great start.

    Best of Luck. :)
    pureorganic's Avatar
    pureorganic Posts: 46, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #14

    Feb 4, 2010, 12:37 PM

    IF he dumps u over an argument and then gets very impulsive and irrational and starts deleting u from evertything and give u back everything then he sounds like an immature idiot that wouldn't know a good girl if it fell from the sky and wiggled in his face. I say move on from the looser... he's just trying to make u run back to him and see u squirm for him. Cut the contact and move on, then will really see who ends up doing the squrming!
    Good luck!
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #15

    Feb 4, 2010, 12:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Geiger View Post
    I have decided to not have any contact. He needs to realise he can't pick and chose when he's with me. I have got to move on, not keep messing with my head.
    Keep those thoughts firmly in mind. NC won't be easy, but it is easier than playing his game.

    Good luck. :)

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Girlfriend taking a break. To talk or not to talk [ 52 Answers ]

My girlfriend of over a year has decided to take a break. All of a sudden, something clicked in her head and she feels that we're too young to have such a serious relationship. She doesn't want to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. Mind you, she was always the one who talked about...

She wants a break, but still wants to talk everday! [ 7 Answers ]

I have been dating my girl for over 2 years now. We make a great couple and love spending time with each other. We are both graduating college this year and have talked about moving down south and maybe getting married. She is 23 and I am 27. I have been in many relationships and have quite the...

How long should a break last? [ 5 Answers ]

Hey guys this is the first question I've ever posted so bear with me.. I've been dating this girl for 1 1/2 years and I absolutely love her. We've just gone through our first week of college (we go to the same college) and she tells me that we should take a break. She said that she had been...

How long is too long to be on a break? [ 8 Answers ]

My girlfriend and I split up just over a month ago after 18 months to have some time apart etc. She said she did want to get back with me eventually. Its been a month and all she says is that she doesn't want a boyfriend at the moment however I still see her and she tells me that she loves me and...


View more questions Search