[Confusion]

I have been dating my girl for over 2 years now. We make a great couple and love spending time with each other. We are both graduating college this year and have talked about moving down south and maybe getting married. She is 23 and I am 27. I have been in many relationships and have quite the experience when it comes to dating. She has only had one other serious relationship before ours. Last month she moved 300 miles away for an internship. We keep in touch by talking everyday. I made 2 trips to see her and she made 2 trips to see me. Last weekend she called me and said that she needs a break...

My first impression was that she didn't want me to not call her or try to visit. She tells me that she wants the two of us to stay in touch (talking everyday) and to continue to visit each other. She told me that she felt as though after we graduate, that I was basing my plans for finding a job around her. I thought that we were making these decisions together?

Ultimately what she wants to happen is that we both go our own ways. That we should find jobs and not worry about how far or what the other is going to do. After this has happened, then she says that she can make her decision on whether to follow me or not. She says that she still loves me, but she wants to be able to make her own decisions and that she doesn't want her future written out for her.

My question is, what do I do? I'm not graduating for another 5 months and probably won't find a job for another month after that. I feel as though if I hold on to her and she doesn't decide to stay with me, where is that going to leave me? Should I make a complete break with her? Should I move on?

[SAB123]

First I feel she may be interested in some one else or want to be free for awhile to see what's out their, and keeping you on the back burner. I would move on. If you want to keep talking I wouldk let her do all the calling since she want the break and make yourself busy and meet some new people. She may or may not have someone but why wait for her when in fact she may be moving on without you.

[Confusion]

You say I should move on, but it's not that easy when she is calling me everyday and telling me that she loves me. As difficult as it sounds to me, should I tell her to stop calling me so that I can move on with my life? This has been eating at me all week and it is making me very depressed. I just wish that there was something I could do to help her and if by cutting her off completely is what I have to do, then I will do it.

[SAB123]

I am still healing from my ex fiancé the only way is no contact if you want to get healty. And most will agree their.

[Sdjosh]

Sounds like she wants to be on her own... independent... without responsibilities to anyone. But at the same time she loves you and doesn't really want to let you go.

My situation was similar. She was all those things, including wanting to move on. It has been almost a year and we kept in contact. She finally got to a place where she now wants to be with me again after she felt responsible for gaining her own independence.

[cschang]

I think I can understanding what she was trying to say and do. Most of the time I advise people to move on because they no longer interested in you. After first, I thought this is the case but as I kept on reading your posting, I got a feeling that it wasn't because there is someone else.

Girls like a man who has a plan on his own, especially a career and someone who can make independent decisions, I don't know your deciding things together details but based on what you wrote, your girlfriend got a feeling that you were overconsidered. I know, there is such a thing called over considerate. She felt that and she didn't like it. So she wants to you to decide what you want to do, where to live, etc. all on your own. I got that because she mentioned something about deciding whether she wants to follow you.

Because she gave you specific reasons she needs a break, I felt that's really why she was feeling and not some bogus excuses.

So my advise is, start thinking about yourself a bit more. Where do you have to live, where you want to get a job. She will come around. Trust me.

[Alwerd54]

Focus on yourself for a while. Enjoy the time apart and reflect a little bit. Most importantly, try to live your life. If at all possible, when she calls, try to end the conversation. I know this will hurt, but truly, she needs to realize what she's done. She needs to know that her actions don't effect just her. It's not fair to you, for her to keep calling and saying she cares, but needs a break. She can't have her cake and eat it too!

[snow124]

Why reply to a post from two years ago?