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fatherof5 · Jan 29, 2010, 06:59 PM

My children's mother and I lived together for 11 years and had 5 children together in this time frame. All of the kids have my name on birth certificate. When we split a few years back she got child support but since there was no divorce there was no court ordered visitation and I did not have money for a lawyer. She has let me claim one child on my taxes for last 2 years and has usually granted me access to children except when her boyfriend said she couldn't. They have now married and she will no longer let me claim any children although I support them and has threatened my right to see them if and to go after more child support and medical insurance if I don't tow the line and let her make all visitation and money related decisions regarding children. Is there a way to establish a court order for visitation, child custody, support and claim one out of five dependents on my taxes without getting a lawyer. I do not have any financial resources and she gets help for free through public aid. I live in Illinois. Any help would be appreciated.

JudyKayTee · Jan 29, 2010, 07:02 PM

Contact legal aid in your area but you are going to have to pay child support by Statute or the formula which your State uses. How many children you are allowed to claim is at the Court's discretion.

It's anyone's guess and I see it changing from year to year, on a schedule. I am in NY and that is the procedure here.

cdad · Jan 29, 2010, 07:56 PM

Hang on one minute here. We need to know what's really going on. You said you weren't divorced from her? Then a few setences later you say she is married ?

It doesn't work that way. And if you want visitation you have to go in and fight for it. Wasn't it mentioned when / if the divorce was made final ?

Or were you saying you just lived together and you were never married ?

Also what state is this in ?

ScottGem · Jan 29, 2010, 07:56 PM

The fact that there was no divorce has nothing to do with whether visitation was set. If there was no visitation its because you never asked for it. You had the right to ask for it and didn't.

So now you go file for visitation and the ability to claim your children.

ScottGem · Jan 29, 2010, 07:57 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

Or were you saying you just lived together and you were never married ?

Also what state is this in ?

I read it as he never married his children's mother, but now she is married to someone else.

cdad · Jan 29, 2010, 08:00 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

I read it as he never married his children's mother, but now she is married to someone else.

Wasn't sure because of the timing on all this we need to know if a divorce should have taken place. Its possible the OP is in a common law state and in fact was married.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 29, 2010, 09:25 PM

Ok, divorce and child custody and visit are two separate things, one has nothing to do with other.

You just never did what you were suppose to do.

Next paying child support is not "support" does not make you abel to clain a child, The parent who the child lives with is almost always the one who gets to claim the child.
And it almost never is one child or the such, it may rotate years.
But you have no legal right to claim them on taxes at all. If the child lives with you, or if there is a court order to allow you to claim the child, is the only way you can