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A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue. Doctor: "What happened?" Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp." Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start gargling with it. Just gargle and gargle." Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn. Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I gargled with chamomile tea. I gargled and gargled, and nothing happened!" Doctor: "You see how keeping your mouth shut helps! |
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Originally Posted by altenweg
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As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom Door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from Within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter With a vibrator. Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are you Doing?' The daughter replied: 'Mum, I'm thirty-five years Old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and Leave me alone.' The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz Coming from the other side of the closed bedroom Door. Upon entering the room, he observed his Daughter making passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter Said: 'dad I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this Thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a Husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.' A couple days later, the wife came home from a Shopping trip , placed the groceries on the kitchen Counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, Of all places, the living room. She entered that Area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, Downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing Like crazy. The wife asked: 'What the f.. Are you doing?' The husband replied: 'I'm watching football with my Son-in-law.' |
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