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    cmann0209's Avatar
    cmann0209 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 19, 2010, 12:56 PM
    Depressed and feeling like a failure
    Right about now I feel like my life is a total failure... Things have been going wrong all over and my home life is miserable... Feeling like there is no way out...
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Jan 19, 2010, 12:57 PM

    Can you elaborate a little bit on your problems, why your home life is miserable, if you are male or female and your approximate age? Not being nosey, but it's difficult to know just what the situation is without more info. What is depressing at 16 and what is depressing at 40 are different things.
    cmann0209's Avatar
    cmann0209 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jan 19, 2010, 01:07 PM
    Well I am a 50 year old male married 27 years and I realize I am gay... I have been depressed and have let that depression affect every aspect of my life My wife knows I am gay but I still try to make her happy. Anything that goes wrong makes her so angry and the arguments are unbearable
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #4

    Jan 19, 2010, 01:15 PM

    If you are living a lie, than I would expect that eventually it would become unbearable.

    What are the consequences of accepting yourself for who you are? Being who you are?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #5

    Jan 19, 2010, 04:02 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by cmann0209 View Post
    Well I am a 50 year old male married 27 years and I realize I am gay....I have been depressed and have let that depression affect every aspect of my life My wife knows I am gay but I still try to make her happy. Anything that goes wrong makes her so angry and the arguments are unbearable

    Living a lie of any sort becomes an overwhelming burden. I don't understand your comment ".. my wife knows I am gay but I still try to make her happy." In what way are you trying to make her happy?

    Do you feel you CAN'T leave your marriage and live the life you want for moral reason, ethical reasons? Does your wife want to remain in your relationship? She won't be the first nor the last spouse to look the other way - what does she expect/want you to do?

    Have you been involved in a gay relationship?

    Fifty is young. Fifty is hardly over the hill. You must find what will make you happy, satisfied, content. Have you considered speaking to a professional? Maybe a anti-depressants would be helpful.

    I think you have to look at your situation from as many angles as you can, try to formulate a course of action, decide how to proceed.

    I hope you continue posting and I wish you well.
    cmann0209's Avatar
    cmann0209 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jan 20, 2010, 12:21 PM
    I feel trapped in the marriage and truly feel that I can't start a new life at my age... Regret wasting all this time.
    cmann0209's Avatar
    cmann0209 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jan 20, 2010, 12:26 PM

    I am just afraid that I have no energy left in me to change my life... I worked so hard to get here and to have to start over makes me so angry. I haven't had a gay relationship yet
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #8

    Jan 20, 2010, 12:59 PM

    You aren't starting over - unless I'm missing something. Sometimes one part of a life ends and another begins. It's not starting over; it's more like shifting gears. And you will have less energy tomorrow than you do today so today is the day to make changes - if that is what you want to do?

    Where would you like to see yourself in, say, 6 months, a year, 2 years? I know, this sounds like a job interview! Sometimes it's painful to get from here to there but you have to keep your eyes on your goal.
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