[medicdude]

First of all just a little history about myself. I am currently divorced and have shared parenting/residential of my two children. I work as a paramedic for my hometown. Now onto the history leading up to the question.

A few months agao I was in a local restaurant with my two children. I noticed this good looking lady behind the counter. She would look my way a couple of times. She began waiving at my son and playing around with him from behind the counter.

About a month later my partner (who is much older) and I stopped in for some lunch. I noticed this employee again and talked to my partner about her. When we went to the check out I began a conversation with her. During this conversation I found out her age (5 years younger than me), that she was not married, and did not have any children.

On our job we work 24hrs on and have 48hrs off. So we began going to this establishment just about every duty day.

The next time in there she had brought some free items out to us and said "here you can have these. I like you guys". There was no further conversation this day due to the establishment being busy.

The next duty day we stopped in and she was up by the register again. When we cashed out, we began talking to her. She was telling us what was on her wish list for Christmas. We ended getting called out and had to leave in a hurry.

The next duty day that we saw her was after Christmas. She came out to our table and started talking. She told us what she had gotten for Christmas. I made a comment " You must have been a good girl this year" She smiled and said "I always am" My partner looked at her hands and mentioned to her that there was not a ring on her finger. She replied "No. No ring or boyfriend." She tehn chit chatted a little more before she had to leave to go to the bank.

We went a few duty days no seeing her. Then one day after the new year we caught up with her again at the establishment. She came out to the table an d began to talk. I told her we were there New Year's Dya and was going to invite her to the firehouse to bring in the New Year but she wasn't working. She said " Oh man I would've been there. I wasn't doing anything that night just sitting alone". She then got called back tot eh kitchen area to speak with the district manager before he left. After that she came back out and sat down. I asked her if she was from around the area. She said not orinally and said where she was from. The cool thing is her hometown is only about 15 minutes from where I grew up. I asked her if she had any family in the area and she said no. She explained that she moved here for the job (management).

She then got a phone call and went tot eh back to handle it. When she returned she brought a drink and a plate of food. She began to eat lunch with us and we talked for a very short time before we called out for an emergency run. She asked if we wanted to get cashed out. I asked her if she would be here all day. She said she would. I told her we would be back to pay.

After the run, we returned to pay for our bill. She was in a meeting so our waitress helped us. After we paid for our bill I wrote down my cell number and email address and gave it to the waitress. I asked her to give it to the manager (the lady that has caught my attention). She said she would.

About two hours later, our rider realized she had lost her cell phone. She last used it at this establishment. We went back so she could find her cell phone. She didn't find her cell phone but did ask the waitress if she gave the manager the number. She said she did and asked the rider if I knew that she had a boyfriend. The rider said the waitress said her boyfriend is "low life". The rider asked her if she thought I was "barking up the wrong tree" and she said no.

The next day I stopped at the establishment to make a take out order for dinner. A waitress came up to help me and aasked my last name. I saw the manager in the back. When I said my last name she turned around and looked at me. She smiled and said "what did you say the last name was" She then told the waitress that she would take the order and came and helped me. We talked for a little while. Just before I left I asked her if she got my number. She smile and said she did. I told her that I found out after the fact that she had a boyfriend. She kind of curled her lip and shook her head yes. I told her that I was not wanting to come between her and her boyfriend but with her being new to the area if she wanted to hang out or talk to give me a call. She smiled and said OK.

That night a ran into an old co-worker. We were talking about relationships and I brought up her. He said he had her number in his phone and that she was dating a no good piece of well you know. He said that the relationship is off and on. She's a big flirt, he said. He further stated "I can tell you she's a good kisser thats as far as I could get with her". Now this guy is one of those that always wants more than a kiss if you know what I mean.

The next day I stopped by the office and the on duty crew invited to lunch with them. They were going to this local establishment. She was there. We were seated in a front corner of the restaurant. I kept watching her. After being there about 20 minutes or so, she noticed me. She smiled, waived, and said "Hi, I didn't see you come in" They were very busy so she didn't come out.

When we cashed out she ran the register. She asked if I had the day off and we talked a little. She took my credit card, swiped it, and handed it back to my buddy instead of me. When she took his credit card she gave me his signature paper. We left shortly after due to them being busy.

Its been 4 days since I gave her my contact information. I have not heard anything from her. I don't know what it is about her but she brightens my days. I love her personality, her smiles melt my heart, and I think she is the most beautiful lady there is. My questions are as follows:

1. Do you think she is interested?
2. What is you opinion about the boyfriend issue?
3. Should I keep going in there?
4. What should the next move be?
5. Should I cut my loses and consider it as being rejected?

Any help would be appreciated.

[redhed35]

she has a boyfriend AND your number.

she knows your interested.

I would advice you to get on with your life.

boyfriend = off limits,however lousy he is.

[Gemini54]

The ball is in her court now, that's where you have to leave it.

If she's got a BF, then YOU have to respect that, even if she doesn't.

Try and keep your interactions with her friendly not flirty. It does sound as if she has some issues to work through and you don't want to take on any baggage.

You've made the approach and she hasn't responded. She may enjoy the chase more than the outcome.

[Alty]

1. Do you think she is interested?

She might be, but it doesn't matter, she's not available.

2. What is you opinion about the boyfriend issue?

I think that as long as she's with him, even if he's a major a$$, you should back off.

3. Should I keep going in there?

Sure, why not. Do you only go in to see her or do you like the food? There's no reason not to go in there, you can still be her friend.

4. What should the next move be?

The ball is in her court, so you do nothing. Be pleasant to her as usual, but don't mention getting together or anything else. If she wants to use your number, she will.

5. Should I cut my loses and consider it as being rejected?

It is a refection, because she has a boyfriend. My question to you is, would you be okay with just being her friend? That seems to be what she really wants from you.

[medicdude]

Thank you for your responses. That is exactly what my mind is telling me, but of course it's not what my heart is telling me.

My ex-wife cheated on me several times so I know what that feels like and would not want that for anyone else.

[jaime90]

Doesn't matter if the guy is mentally insane, trying to pursue this girl is wrong. She is already taken- not aviliable- off limits- you get the picture.

Our feelings are deceptive, and they oftentimes cloud our thoughts. Start thinking with your head- not your heart. Take your emotions out of the picture and that is the clearest view of the situation you will get. Once you can clearly see what's happening (with your head, not with your emotions.) go from there.

[Jake2008]

I wonder what she meant by 'no ring, no boyfriend' remark to you. Right off the bat she lied. That does not bode well at all.

She could be just checking men out to see if there is someone better than the 'low life' she's with. Who's to say he isn't a great guy, and it is her telling other people that he's a dirty low life.

Regardless, as the others have said, unless she is truly single, stable, and looking for a relationship, don't get your hopes up. Sounds like she's stringing you a line to me.

[evelyn1989]

Sorry sounds like she's stringing you along and just flirting with you. Some women do that, to see if the men they are flirting with are interested. It's a big turn on for them when they get the attention but no way are they interested in anything more.

Go for someone more genuine and trustworthy and not for someone who's wishy washy and a time-waster. And I bet you don't need baggage like her in your life.

[medicdude]

All very good points. I really appreciate your help. I agree totally. I have been through a lot and don't want to go through it all over again. I definitely don't want my children to go through it again.

I live in a very small town and county. I guess I continue looking. Thanks again all.