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noplacelikehome · Jan 10, 2010, 10:27 PM

Hello everyone, I was just wondering why don't I have a girlfriend? I think I'm a good, decent guy. I don't have any complications or anything different from the average guy. I go to school, study hard, work, nice, pretty much just another simple guy looking for a simple girl.

I have started to feel lonely sometimes but I don't mind because I spend most of my time invested in my hobbies that I love. I want to share my life with someone and make her happy but apparently love hasn't found me yet. It gets sad when I hang out with the friends I grew up with and they all fell in love with each other but I get left out whenever we do things together.

Am I just not meant to find someone? Not ready to be with someone yet? Im really confused:confused:

Scleros · Jan 10, 2010, 11:52 PM

Originally Posted by noplacelikehome

Hello everyone, i was just wondering why dont i have a girlfriend? ...but apparently love hasnt found me yet.

Love will "find" you more easily if you help it out by asking out all the eligible gals you encounter. How often do you date? If rarely/never, get off your butt.

donotaskme · Jan 11, 2010, 12:10 AM

Hey, noplacelikehome.

I can mostly relate.

I will ask what Scleros asked again: do you date often?

It doesn't sound like you do. It feels like you have some very in-depth artistic hobbies that satisfy places in your head that spin in phases of comfort and relaxation.

Unfortunately, love won't find you if you don't do anything about it. There has to be oceans for it to rain. There has to be soil for trees to grow. In other-words, there has to be effort for love to appear.

If a girl gives you a long gaze -- don't just ignore it, like I do. If you give a girl a long gaze -- don't ignore that, either (like I do too, lol).

noplacelikehome · Jan 11, 2010, 07:22 AM

Hey guys yah its been a while since I last dated, maybe a year or a little more. I don't know the reason for that, perhaps school has kept me busy.

Im in 2nd year of university and I've been studying and working on my music and just trying to get through everyday life I suppose.

Never really had time to date. I have been out of the dating scene for so long I don't even remember how to get one.

I just think that ill meet the right girl when the time is right like love at first sight kind of thing.

redhed35 · Jan 11, 2010, 07:29 AM

Unlike the movies there is not going to be a script writer to make the girl suddenly come to your door...

Your going to have to ask a girl out!

Just ask,you may get turned down and then again you may not,if you don't put yourself out there and take a few chances,your going to get stuck in a rut.

LJDK · Jan 11, 2010, 07:32 AM

You don't have a girl because you have not asked them for a number or anything or have you?

Its easy. Rule of thumb is 1 out of 8 will give you their number. So ask... go on dates. It's not that bad, although it does seem like it. Practise makes perfect

Romefalls19 · Jan 11, 2010, 07:40 AM

It will happen when you least expect it, it's how it always goes

noplacelikehome · Jan 11, 2010, 07:41 AM

That's the thing, I don't know who to ask. All my friends that are girls are taken, granted I don't have many friends that are girls and I don't know anyone to ask out.

I mean I could always ask out a pretty girl I just see in class or something if that's what you guys are trying to say? But pretty much everyone is taken these days and it just creates complications.

Romefalls19 · Jan 11, 2010, 07:42 AM

Just start making more friends man, slip some girls your number and go from there

redhed35 · Jan 11, 2010, 07:46 AM

You say you have hobbies,are there girls involved there too?

Tell friends your on the dating scene,maybe they know someone who is dating too and can hook you up,double date,or a group thing,like bowling.

LJDK · Jan 11, 2010, 07:47 AM

Dude. I am a noob when it comes to girls. I don't know how to ask either. So what I did was the only thing I could do, and it worked.

This was my secret. I walked over to the girl and said "hi" "give me your number" Got the number... ran away.

It worked. Be straight to the point. No chit chat nonsense, save that for the date. Remember to phone with in the 1st 3 days of getting the number. Hell even the day after you got it. Otherwise you might chicken out.

Tip to 1st dates : Weekends are a bad idea, these days are spent with friends and people close to them. Weekdays work better for 1st dates. My opinion.

Remember, straight to the point... greet them, ask them, say goodbye.

Some girls like shy dudes. Like I said 1 out of 8 will give you a number. Im pretty sure you see more than 8 girls walking by on any given day.

noplacelikehome · Jan 11, 2010, 07:59 AM

Lol dude I am noob when it comes to girls too but I feel awkward just going up to a girl I don't know and ask for her number. I mean I could like the girl but I don't know I'm just very confused.

Redhed, I am pretty involved when it comes to music, I practice at the music room at school a lot or even just at home, and nope I don't meet girls that way usually I'm just the only person there.

redhed35 · Jan 11, 2010, 08:04 AM

You sound pretty busy.

The thing is, if you don't have time to meet a girl, your not going to have time to maintain a relationship...

What about putting the girl thing on hold until you have more time,concentrate on the schol work and music and not worry about it...

Just park the girl thing for now and keep working on you... it will make you a better man for when she does cross your path..

I know it can get lonely,and I'm not saying give up the idea,just park it for now.

noplacelikehome · Jan 11, 2010, 08:12 AM

Yup I can see where you're coming at but the way I see it, is if I don't have time to meet a girl right now, ill never have time because the thing is when I look into the future I just see myself as even more busy.

On top of that I think I'm almost at the age where its time to settle down, meet a girl and just go from there because I'm not getting any younger. (im 20)

redhed35 · Jan 11, 2010, 08:27 AM

Originally Posted by noplacelikehome

yup i can see where you're coming at but the way i see it, is if i dont have time to meet a girl right now, ill never have time because the thing is when i look into the future i just see myself as even more busy.

On top of that i think im almost at the age where its time to settle down, meet a girl and just go from there because im not getting any younger. (im 20)

I have socks older then you!

Your still pretty young,and have loads of time to meet,date, settle down etc..

How about,being a little more extroveted around the girls you do meet,and take it from there...

Don't ask every single girl you meet out on a date or for there number... just the ones you like.

Take the pressure off yourself and enjoy what you do have,being happy with yourself and content is so important for your future and any relationships.

I wish · Jan 11, 2010, 08:35 AM

It will happen when it happens.

Put yourself out there. Continue to meet new people. When the right person comes along, it will happen naturally.

LJDK · Jan 12, 2010, 04:00 AM

Originally Posted by noplacelikehome

lol dude i am noob when it comes to girls too but i feel ackward just going up to a girl i dont know and ask for her number.

I know. It sucks... just wait until you get turned down a few times. Now that's awkward. But trust me, you get use to it very soon. Its like skydiving or something crazy and stupid. But just take the leap.

Affirmative thinking is key. It took me 2 years of constantly feeling bad about myself for being a chicken and always turning away just before I ask for their number. Eventually I just got so tired of being a wuss I did it.

But don't be to hard on yourself. But no excuses either. You can do it.