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    icemantj's Avatar
    icemantj Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #41

    Jan 8, 2010, 08:41 AM
    I want to be there for her though after what I did if I did nc I think it would just make the break up harder for her to get through.
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #42

    Jan 8, 2010, 08:42 AM

    Right now, you have to worry about you. You have to get yourself back on track.

    She needs to do the same.

    I recommend NC, as well... and that's a lot coming from me.
    icemantj's Avatar
    icemantj Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #43

    Jan 8, 2010, 09:30 AM
    K I'm sure it will be hard but I'm going to start nc today I got so much tension built up I did 200 push ups so far I think I'm going to do some sit ups as well. I actually think NC will help me get over her quicker.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #44

    Jan 8, 2010, 09:33 AM

    Good choice-time to look after you and your own needs now.
    icemantj's Avatar
    icemantj Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #45

    Jan 8, 2010, 04:50 PM

    So I had a little set back she just txted me telling me that she just got done having sex with this guy she is with and she said that he was a lot better then I was. This sets me so far back and I'm not even out of day one of no nc. I feel sick to my stomach any advice on how to not let this bother me?
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #46

    Jan 8, 2010, 04:54 PM

    The thing about NC is that it is both ways: you don't contact her, nor do you open/receive/listen to contacts from her.

    That was a low blow for her to text that to you. Down right mean, actually. I'm sorry that you had to read it.

    You have to put this girl out of your life.

    I recommend going for a drive. You said that you enjoy driving - so go. Go find something new and interesting.

    You've got to start taking steps to actively fill the hole that she left when you guys split. You must.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #47

    Jan 8, 2010, 10:58 PM

    Delete all texts from her without reading them.
    If need be,change your number.
    icemantj's Avatar
    icemantj Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #48

    Jan 11, 2010, 07:08 AM

    Update... Ive been feeling a lot better and been hooking up with old friends that I haven't chilled with for a long time. I've been in contact with my ex and she said she was sorry for what she said. I told her that it was all right. She asked me if we could still be friends and I told her that I would think about it. What do you guys think I should do?
    LJDK's Avatar
    LJDK Posts: 281, Reputation: 25
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    #49

    Jan 11, 2010, 07:22 AM

    I think the healing process is going to take very long if you remain friends.
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #50

    Jan 11, 2010, 07:22 AM

    I think that would open a virtual Pandora's box on your emotions right now.

    I would tell her that, for now, you need to be able to heal. You can't deal with contact from her because it hurts you so much/sets you off/etc.

    I don't think it is wise to "be friends" because it leaves you with the hope that "something may happen." Now is the time for healing and dealing with your own issues, not trying to make her feel better.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #51

    Jan 11, 2010, 07:26 AM
    No,don't try to be friends;you need to heal from the breakup and sort out your own issues now.
    No contact is the best way to go.
    I'm glad you're feeling better.
    icemantj's Avatar
    icemantj Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #52

    Jan 11, 2010, 07:27 AM

    K thank you guys so much for the advise. You guys helped me a lot to get through this.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #53

    Jan 11, 2010, 07:53 AM

    You're very welcome.
    Keep posting. :-)
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #54

    Jan 11, 2010, 08:22 AM

    No don't be friends, and honestly, why would you want to be friends with someone who texted you something like that? I mean, I'd never talk to that person again.
    icemantj's Avatar
    icemantj Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #55

    Jan 12, 2010, 08:57 PM

    K update time I guess.. I've taken your guys advice and deleted her from myspace and Facebook. I don't feel any better yet and I might even feel worse then what I did. I'm hoping that I will feel better in a few days.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #56

    Jan 12, 2010, 11:09 PM

    You will feel better-as you get on with your own life and get your own routines going.
    icemantj's Avatar
    icemantj Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #57

    Jan 13, 2010, 04:48 AM

    OK well I'm already feeling a little better I'm thinking I miss her more then being sad. It really sucks when you know the one that you loved a lot is out of your life for good. I think it's the worst feeling I've ever had to deal with. This is my first break up before her I was more of a party kid. I'm already starting to talk to some other girls and they seem interrested in me but they both have kids lol. Not something that I'm really looking for right now. You guys will probably be seeing me a lot because I want to keep my nc going so ill be on here to vent :)
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #58

    Jan 13, 2010, 04:58 AM
    Vent on Ice-it usually helps!
    Don't go looking for a new relationship until you are completely over the ex-rebounds are not a good thing.
    Make new friends and enjoy life.
    icemantj's Avatar
    icemantj Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #59

    Jan 13, 2010, 05:03 AM

    Well my friend are all telling me just to go to a party and get drunk and have sex with a chick and that will make me move on and forget about the feelings I have for her what is your thoughts on this.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #60

    Jan 13, 2010, 05:11 AM
    Nope-bad idea you don't get over someone by bedhopping. That's like booze, only a temporary relief and you'll feel worse for it.
    Never mind that you might pick up an STD so not a smart move.
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