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nicegirlnextdoor · Jan 1, 2010, 07:06 PM

I have fallen for my best male friend. He has always been there for me, as I am for him. We have supported each other through some difficult times and have always remained very close. We share and tell each other anything. He means the world to me and I know he loves me; as a friend. Recently we have been intimate together (for the past 6 mths)
How do I tell him that I have feelings towards him, without ruining our freindship. How do I know if he is ready to move forward, or just wants friendship? I don't want to lose his friendship..

talaniman · Jan 1, 2010, 07:49 PM

If your intimate, why can't you talk to each other? Obviously friends that are intimate have something going, wouldn't you think?

nicegirlnextdoor · Jan 1, 2010, 07:59 PM

Yes I would think so... But I know him too well and feel he would back away and end our friendship.
Okay if we discuss this and all doesn't go to plan then I have lost him.
What if I love him more than he loves me?

Or If we discuss this and everything goes horribley wrong and we end up hurting each other, then maybe the friendship wasn't meant to be life long

talaniman · Jan 1, 2010, 08:46 PM

Know one can know what life holds for you but a word to the wise, friend or not. Intimacy (sex{?}) changes things and you better start talking to each other or its just a friends with benefits thing.

No communications, no relationship.

amicon · Jan 2, 2010, 02:16 AM

Unless you discuss where you're coming from and what this is you'll never know.
Find the courage to talk about it.

nicegirlnextdoor · Jan 2, 2010, 03:57 PM

I got up the courage and spoke to him. It didn't go at all well.
It really freaked him out.

amicon · Jan 2, 2010, 04:03 PM

At least now you know rather than waiting around for maybe weeks or months to find out.

talaniman · Jan 2, 2010, 04:47 PM

Originally Posted by nicegirlnextdoor

I got up the courage and spoke to him. It didnt go at all well.
It really freaked him out.

So what happened, did he freak out because you no longer makeout, or what?

nicegirlnextdoor · Jan 2, 2010, 07:29 PM

He freaked out because emotionally I don't think he's ready for a commitment. And by me telling him how I felt, has now changed things.. I think from now on there will be no intimatcy. He has totally withdrawn from me

talaniman · Jan 2, 2010, 09:08 PM

Glad you didn't have to wait another 6 months to find that out!