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Swimfan313 · Dec 23, 2009, 02:31 PM

This is going to be a lot to take in so please have patience when reading...

My g/f and I have been going through ups and downs for the past 6 months. We were in a 5.5 year relationship. We do not live together. She works 2 jobs. She has 2 hours in between jobs. On Saturday morning, she stated that she got off at 2:30am and that if I were coming back to her apt, to just take the key so that I could be there when she got home. I took the key, but it was pretty bad outside(snow) so I didn't make it over I stayed at home.

I sent her a text around 9pm... she got off her first job at 8. I texted her to ask if she was still at work... she replied "no.......why?"... and then I stated it was because I hadn't heard from her... and she replied... "when you're at work, you dont always call me on your breaks or lunches"... I then replied... "you are not on break or lunch, you are off"... she then replied... "where are you? what are you doing?"... I then asked what she was doing and stated the mind starts to wonder when you don't reply, and then I said "if u werent at your first job or second job, or not at home, where are you?" 2 hours later she replied stating that she wasn't at any of those because she was driving to work and that the problem is I don't trust her... I then said if you could do all that texting while driving, WHY could you just not have Called? Hours go by and she gets off at 2:30AM... she calls me around 3 and asked if I had her spare key... I said yes... She replied... "Bring my key back tommorrow!!!" and hung up the phone on me... the next morning she sent a text saying "Bring my key back today!.....i told her she didnt have to remind me.....at 4:00pm she calls me and asks what I am doing....i said i was at the mall....she then replies: "Bring my key to my job"! I texted her and stated I would just drop it off to my aunt who stays across the hall.....

I went over my aunts and vented about this situation....My g/f calls and says: "where is my key?? "......i said i dropped it off over my aunts.....she then says "you are such a punk a#@ bit$% and hung up and me... then she calls my aunt... (I'm still over there at my aunts but had not given my aunt the key yet)... she calls back and calls me a liar, and says she hates me, and wants me out her life for lying... she then called my aunt back and my aunt stated the key was just dropped off...

My g/f's issue was that I told her when she called that the key was already dropped off, when in fact I had not dropped the key off until after she hung up the phone with me which was in 1 min incriment... thats how quick my aunt got the key. As I stated I was already over there...

I then got highly upset at her insulting words towards me and said "dont bother me anymore you stupid bi%$D, i'll get better sex somewhere else"... you have to understand I was very heated... I then said "if you see me out at the clubs, dont stalk me"... she then replied: "if you see who i've been making love to, dont stalk me"... and then 20 minutes later she sends a text saying: "i was lying about that, but I can't stand you...you lied to me....you dont deserve my live, and you never did!"

I still was heated... I then sent her a text saying: "I dont want to hear from you again, if you need to reach me you can looking me up on this dating site", and gave her my screename... I joined a dating hook-up site at this moment because I was fed up.

These last 2 days, I have been sending her texts(as she's at work) trying to understand what happened, apologize for my part with the words I said, and said we both said cruel things"... she will not reply... the only thing she has replied to was when I asked her to return my video that we rented as I did not want a late charge. She said that she would... any other thing I text her about she will not reply...

I called off work these last 2 days to drink all day as I could not concentrate at work. IIve cancelled friend invites to the gym and parties today, because I'm just depressed and wonder what she's doing, and why she won't respond...

Please offer any assistance possible, I can't seem to stop this worrying, drinking, and wondering if I had just been over there Saturday night, maybe this would not have happened... I have not eaten since Monday, but keep drinking alcohol

Swimfan313 · Dec 23, 2009, 04:10 PM

Do I need to revise this? I see no replies

Devorameira · Dec 23, 2009, 04:27 PM

I think there's more to this story than just a little one-time argument. I do have a few questions:

How's the rest of your relationship been?

What do you normally argue about?

How long has she been working 2 jobs?

Is drinking a normal part of your everyday life?

Do you work full-time?

Were you just dating or were you engaged? Seems like you've dated a long time.

Clough · Dec 23, 2009, 04:27 PM

Hi, Swimfan313!

It can take a bit of patience to use this site. Everyone here volunteers their time to answer questions. So, the best people to address your issue might not even be online right now.

Things will liven up much more on this site during the next, at least, several hours.

Thanks!

Cat1864 · Dec 23, 2009, 04:53 PM

This isn't about a key.

You accused her of cheating:

I then asked what she was doing and stated the mind starts to wonder when u don't reply, and then I said "if u werent at your first job or second job, or not at home, where are you?"

You didn't return her key when she asked for it. You didn't even return it first thing in the morning. (I doubt you really planned to give it to your aunt.) You decided to play games with the truth. Your aunt didn't lie for you. You said things to hurt her. You have already signed on to a dating site just because your were upset and gave her your screen name. The list seems to go on and on.

She is either calming down or has instituted No Contact. Either way give her time and space. Give yourself time and space. Get back into your life and don't worry about hers. If she calms down enough to talk to you calmly and maturely, maybe she will get in contact with you.

Swimfan313 · Dec 23, 2009, 04:57 PM

Cat1864,

She had church the first thing in the morning. That is Why. We've been together 5.5 years, did it really matter what time, when I've had the key multiple times before?

Swimfan313 · Dec 23, 2009, 04:58 PM

My thing is why bring it up to your job. Why not say bring it when I get off so I can see you... as far as accusations of cheating, it should Not have gone that far for a key...

Swimfan313 · Dec 23, 2009, 04:59 PM

Originally Posted by Cat1864

This isn't about a key.

You accused her of cheating:

You didn't return her key when she asked for it. You didn't even return it first thing in the morning. (I doubt you really planned to give it to your aunt.) You decided to play games with the truth. Your aunt didn't lie for you. You said things to hurt her. You have already signed on to a dating site just because your were upset and gave her your screen name. The list seems to go on and on.

She is either calming down or has instituted No Contact. Either way give her time and space. Give yourself time and space. Get back into your life and don't worry about hers. If she calms down enough to talk to you calmly and maturely, maybe she will get in contact with you.

She said things to hurt me to when I didn't return the key on time

Swimfan313 · Dec 23, 2009, 05:02 PM

Originally Posted by Devorameira

I think there's more to this story than just a little one-time argument. I do have a few questions:

How's the rest of your relationship been?

What do you normally argue about?

How long has she been working 2 jobs?

Is drinking a normal part of your everyday life?

Do you work full-time?

Were you just dating or were you engaged? Seems like you've dated a long time.

Drinking was part of Both of our lives... she has been working 2 jobs for about 2 months. We argue about a lot of petty stuff

Swimfan313 · Dec 23, 2009, 05:07 PM

Cat1846,

You seem to think I'm the blame for all this? It was a spare key... I have been with you for 5 years... if you could text in a car driving to work, you can call as well...

ONE THING I LEFT OUT which is WHY I made the statement of where are you...

Last month, when she was drunk, I woke up at 3AM to catch her on the couch having phone sex with someone off a hotline, and she was doing you know what... as she was talking to this person... The next morning, she apologized and said she was sorry she was drunk and didn't remember...

My thing is this: Ifd you really respect the person you are with, and if you were truly drunk, you would stay AWAY from alcohol and not get drunk again... since then, she's had many episodes of drunkenness

Cat1864 · Dec 23, 2009, 05:07 PM

Originally Posted by Swimfan313

she said things to hurt me to when i didnt return the key on time

Your accusation happened before she asked for her key back.

Take responsibility for your own words (text and phone call) and actions.

I am not going to argue with you over what she said or did, because from what you wrote it all stemmed from your text messages.