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smaster · Dec 21, 2009, 09:00 PM

Two Questions:
1. My boyfriend, a father of three and Army soldier deployed to Iraq for a year allowed his ex to have temporary custody (physical & legal) of their 3 kids while he's deployed. Prior to deployment, they shared 50/50 custody. Recently their 7 year old child was hospitalized and his ex refused to give him information on his son, including which hospital he was at. He was allowed to talk to his son once, but since that time 3 weeks ago he's not been allowed any telephone contact with the kids. What actions can he take to reestablish contact? Should he take legal action to get back his legal custody?
2. My boyfriend's ex has been unemployed since 2008. I recently discovered that the ex's father bought a dance company where she is the "President" and a dance instructor. Obviously, she is now employed (by her father), but during their temporary change of custody hearing last month, in which my boyfriend called into the court from Iraq, the ex claimed she was unemployed. Child support was calculated based on the ex being unemployed. What actions can be taken when one party is in Iraq?

JudyKayTee · Dec 22, 2009, 06:05 AM

It's not employment that counts, it's income. She very well may be a figurehead. I have seen Courts open cases like this, using telephone communications/testimony. I have also seen Courts refuse to accept the filing. Is there PROOF that she is, in fact, earning money?

When is he scheduled to return to the US?

You say he "allowed" her to take the children. When he was deployed there was no other choice for placement of the children. Did they formalize the agreement with the Court? If not I also see problems when he returns.

cdad · Dec 22, 2009, 04:22 PM

As far as the employment goes that is something to be proven. The best way to proceed on that would be through a qualified detective. The reason being is that your going to need to establish a pattern of her going there and making a contribution. From there you can get a deposition from the father after you have the proof. If he lies then you have grounds for obstruction and pujury. They can both sweat it out.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 22, 2009, 05:37 PM

Well first he never should have give up his 50/50, that was his first, since he could have merely told the court he would re-establish when he returned.

He will have to sue for change of custody and fight in court

smaster · Dec 30, 2009, 01:46 AM

When I say he "allowed her to have temporary custody," I mean he temporarily gave up not only his physical custody, but his legal custody as well. Yes, this was done through the court system after he was already deployed in early Oct (he called in for the hearing). Through this action he unintentionally gave up some of his rights to the children. His ex has taken advantage of the situation by limiting his access to the kids and their medical information. For instance, his ex failed to notify him through the Amer Red Cross when his 7 yr old child was hospitalized (as she knows is protocol based on his 2 previous deployments). The ex's mother sent him an email and both parties refused to disclose to him where the child was hospitalized when he called.

Without going to court, he agreed to pay his ex 50% of his monthly income. He thought the court hearing was only a formality to ensure his ex wouldn't have any legal difficulties caring for the children in his absence, but it seems he should have researched his legal rights prior to making any agreement in court. Do you think he should file papers in court to re-establish his legal custody to enable him access his children's school records, medical info and establish some regular telephone access to his children? If so, what forms should he file (we live in CA)?

It was stated in court that upon his return he would file a motion with the court for an emergency hearing to re-establish his previous custody rights, but he won't return until Nov 2010. That's a long time to not have regular contact with your kids, especially when you're at war.

JudyKayTee · Dec 30, 2009, 06:12 AM

Yes, upon his return he should file, requesting a new Court Order concerning custody/visitation/support.

Has he spoken to someone in the military about this situation? There is a possibility he could get emergency leave to come back to the US and re-establish contact OR that the military will step in to enforce the Court Order - if the Order requires that he be kept informed. You are probably aware that "her" argument will be that he is "at war" and she does not want to "bother" him - I know it's unfair, but it happens.