[popei21go]

I think you have the right to feel the way you want about this - to an extent.

You can't go blaiming her for what she's done sexually (or in any other way, really) in her past.
You hadn't even met her at the time!

However, if this is something you can't deal with, talking with her about it will be the way to go.

If this is something that disgusts you, I can understand how you reacted to the whole deal with showing you a picture of the guy.
I wouldn't want my girlfriend to show me pictures of her old sex partners either.

But you have to accept the fact that she has had sex with people before, if you're not able to accept that, this is a lost case in my opinion.

don't wory she won't leave you:D

[Alty]

don't wory she wont leave you:D

What does this have to do with the OP's question, or the poster you quoted?

[ninjajr92]

You have every right to be upset and disturbed. However, if you are judging her in that way then there will probably be no future. You either must let it go and explain to her why you were upset or leave the relationship before you do anymore harm to yourself. Talking with your partner about these kinds of things are the best things to do, but don't be hostile about it. Best of luck to you. =]

[sabrewolfe]

If it's a wholesome girl your looking for, I don't think she is the one for you. I can see a lot of regrets happening if you decide to stay with her. She will end up hurting you. It doesn't sound like she has much class.

[Alty]

If it's a wholesome girl your looking for, I don't think she is the one for you. I can see alot of regrets happening if you decide to stay with her. She will end up hurting you. It doesn't sound like she has much class.

What?

Because she had a threesome she doesn't have class?

I had a threesome, trust me, I have class, otherwise I'd stop biting my tongue and tell you what I really think of your post.

As for regrets, you're right. If he doesn't get over his male ego getting in the way of his girlfriends past then he will have regrets.

If he's looking for a virgin I wish him lots of luck.

[talaniman]

He might be freakin' out but last I checked he was still with her, so who is the one with class?

To hell with that double standard stuff, that's a convenient excuse to think your better than someone else.

The truth is nobody is any better than anybody else, don't care what they have done.

Now lets not get extreme about it, what matters is can you deal with a partner or not?

[bltlover47]

Several weeks ago, right before a big law exam, my girlfriend called me rather upset, fearing she was pregnant. Before I could calm her down, she broke down and explained the reason she was scared was because she had an abortion when she was 18, during her freshman year of college, and was unaware of the pregnancy for three months, despite taking the morning after pill and several negative tests. Needless to say, I was shocked and almost disturbed about this rather dark secret that emerged at a very inopportune time.

In the weeks that followed (it was three weeks ago), I am still shocked and a bit upset (even though it happened a few years before we met) that this happened to her, and it has frequently crossed my mind when we have sex (unfortunately). I know it is in the past and before we met, but there is something about it that feels like a huge turnoff, and a depressing realization that this might not exactly be the girl I thought she was. I, too, have had unprotected sex in my past, but for some reason feel so turned off by the fact that even though she had unprotected sex once, she was "punished" by the abortion. As it is a rather sensitive issue, I do not want to ask my friends if they have had any similar experiences, but I suppose I am curious if anyone had similar experiences or feelings after learning about a girlfriend's prior abortion. Did it at all effect your sexual life? Ls it wrong to hold it against her and feel very turned off for a mistake that easily could have happened to me? What kind of feelings are reasonable?

[Alty]

I've never had an abortion, only two healthy wanted pregnancies and one miscarriage.

Ask yourself this. Would you be dating her if she had a child?

Would she be who she is now if she had had the child?

Do you think it was her choice or do you believe that abortion is wrong?

This all comes down to your beliefs. Those beliefs are yours, not hers. She made the best decision she could for herself at the time. I'm sure she agonized over the decision, I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision to make.

So, she opened up to you, told you a very painful part of her past and what did you do? You judged her.

Yes, I think it is wrong to hold it against her. You had sex in the past. Sex cause pregnancy. The only difference between her and you is that she got caught. She paid for her actions, twice.

Judge not lest you be judged, and no, I'm not religious, it's just a good quote.

[kjsunj]

So, she opened up to you, told you a very painful part of her past and what did you do? You judged her.

I agree with alte..

And I understand how you feel now.. but love should be able to accept who she is..

My ex told me her past not like yours.. one year later... and I knew there was something in her past but she couldn't tell me.. and the past I already asked her and she lied when I asked.. and when she said true... I understood her but also it ruined my trust.. so I told her but she didn't want to talk and work together..

She did the most hardiest thing for her.. and when your feeling of her get stronger.. it wouldn't bother you anymore..

[mistyjane]

In a thread I once started back then I stated that I had an abortion and yes it is the worst thing that ever happened in my life.
You are a guy and even if my ex held my hand all the time I found that he couldn't understand.Never.
It's easy to judge her but she was only 18.
Excuse me but we're not supposed to jugde the ones we love.

[Romefalls19]

I'm going to say this at the risk of a ton of reddies, but honestly, I see his point of view. If he happens to be against abortion and he sees this as something he cannot get passed, then that is his decision and I wouldn't blame him for it. I will say that I am highly against abortion, unless extreme circumstances happen. I don't preach, and you can tell by the countless abortion threads I have posted on here. It's my opinion, everyone is entitled to their own. With that being said, if I found that my fiancé had an abortion, even before we met, I would have a very hard time accepting that and don't know if I would be able to handle it and continue the relationship.

To the OP, it's your decision whether to accept this or not. I'm not going to fault you if you chose not too, it's a tough thing to have to hear.

As for having unprotected sex, don't let that get to you.

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...on-443239.html

No judgments, just facts that became apparent after merging your posts, and reading the one sited above.

The more you hear about your g/f's past the more freaked out you become.

If you can't handle her past, you can never appreciate what she has been through, nor who she is now, or ever have a future.

Right or wrong, you cannot handle a relationship with her. You cannot understand, and support her, through what has to be a hard time in her life, nor can you empathize and share strength that you both need to proceed.

Talaniman Rule - If you can't handle what your partner has been thru, the decent thing to do is leave, and cause no more hurt than you already have.

Talaniman Rule - If you really love someone, you deal with there good, and bad.

Talaniman Rule - Keep an open mind, especially when its not just your own feelings involved.

Talaniman Rule - Make sure you know yourself well before sharing your heart.

Talaniman Rule - Make sure you know exactly who your trusting your heart to.

Talaniman Rule - Never commit to a person you don't know that well.

Talaniman Rule - If your afraid to take a risk, DON'T. Find out why your afraid first, then deal with the fear.

[Romefalls19]

After getting the whole story, I think you can't handle this relationship at all. You have too many problems with her past that your relationship will never work