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JoeCanada76 · Dec 7, 2009, 08:08 AM

Originally Posted by jaffeyjoeblaze

MY LIFE IS BEGINNING AND I WILL LET HER GO AND LET GOD GUIDE ME TO THE RIGHT PERSON WHETHER IT IS HER OR NOT! IT WILL PROBABLY BE SOMEBODY BETTER AND LIFE WILL WORK OUT IN THE END!

Very Good. Very True. Go forth and look forward to a better future.

jaffeyjoeblaze · Dec 7, 2009, 08:17 AM

I like venting on here... it helps me let her go and avoid breaking NC...

I wish · Dec 7, 2009, 08:19 AM

You've had 3 years to make this relationship work. I think you've given each other enough chances.

Time to learn from the past and move on. Don't check on her status to get updates anymore, as that will only prolong the agony.

Follow the no contact rules: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...qs-332732.html

And fight any urges of breaking no contact: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...es-351302.html

Move on to bigger and better things.

Originally Posted by jaffeyjoeblaze

I like venting on here....it helps me let her go and avoid breakin NC....

Feel free to vent any time!

jaffeyjoeblaze · Dec 7, 2009, 08:30 AM

I just don't know what to do when I do go back to my hometown and see them together... I don't know how I will react and it will set me back to the beginning of this whole thing...

Especially if I see her by herself or with her kids I am going to want to try to reconcile with her...

Devorameira · Dec 7, 2009, 08:33 AM

I don't understand - YOU broke up with her and you're the one who's upset. You've made the right decision. She needs a man that will love her and accept her kids as their own. You seem to talk down about her (24, single mom, no job) and boost yourself up (degree, job, etc) like you imagine you're better than she is. She needs someone that wants to be her equal, not think they are superior. :confused: Just move on.

I wish · Dec 7, 2009, 08:37 AM

Originally Posted by jaffeyjoeblaze

I just dont know what to do when I do go back to my hometown and see them together....I dont know how I will react and it will set me back to the beginning of this whole thing...

Especially if I see her by herself or with her kids I am going to want to try to reconcile with her....

Then don't see her. Maybe you shouldn't be going back to your hometown so soon until your feelings for her are gone.

jaffeyjoeblaze · Dec 7, 2009, 08:37 AM

I am, I just don't know how to react if I see her live in person...

jaffeyjoeblaze · Dec 7, 2009, 08:38 AM

Originally Posted by I wish

Then don't see her. Maybe you shouldn't be going back to your hometown so soon until your feelings for her are gone.

But I can't just avoid my family because of her... I mean its christmas!

I wish · Dec 7, 2009, 08:41 AM

Try staying home then. If you don't go out, it reduces the chances of seeing her. Anyway, like you said, you should be spending time with family.

Since you're suppose to be seeing family, you shouldn't be wondering around town all by yourself anyway. So if you do go out, you would most likely be with someone. I suggest you let the person you are with know that you might bump into your ex and that you need to keep moving along if you do.

If you do see her, keep the conversation as short as possible and keep walking.

JoeCanada76 · Dec 7, 2009, 08:45 AM

Hi and Bye is good enough isn't it?

jaffeyjoeblaze · Dec 7, 2009, 08:49 AM

Originally Posted by I wish

Try staying home then. If you don't go out, it reduces the chances of seeing her. Anyway, like you said, you should be spending time with family.

Since you're suppose to be seeing family, you shouldn't be wondering around town all by yourself anyway. So if you do go out, you would most likely be with someone. I suggest you let the person you are with know that you might bump into your ex and that you need to keep moving along if you do.

If you do see her, keep the conversation as short as possible and keep walking.

I will, in fact its such a small town, I know I don't plan on going out during that time esp. to places where she frequents, and I know she will probably want to make me jealous and show off that she is happy just to piss me off... I only plan to stay down there for 3 days

sabrewolfe · Dec 7, 2009, 08:57 AM

Look, if you see her, just smile and say hi. What's the big deal? Be happy and let her be happy. You say you have better oppurtunities than she does, and she has someone that wants to be with her. It's a win-win situation. Everyone gets what they want.

jaffeyjoeblaze · Dec 7, 2009, 09:32 AM

Originally Posted by sabrewolfe

Look, if you see her, just smile and say hi. What's the big deal? Be happy and let her be happy. You say you have better oppurtunities than she does, and she has someone that wants to be with her. It's a win-win situation. Everyone gets what they want.

I know that dude will hurt her, but why should I care? I need to move on and worry about me for once! I gave her a lot of her firsts and actually made one of her dreams happen... I was her best in many things... I will have my spot in her mind and heart until the end... I definitely know it...

JoeCanada76 · Dec 7, 2009, 09:35 AM

Does it really matter either way. Whether you are part of her mind or heart or both. You think so, but even if your not. Does it really matter?

Time to stop pining.

paxe · Dec 7, 2009, 11:52 AM

Originally Posted by jaffeyjoeblaze

I know that dude will hurt her, but why should I care? I need to move on and worry about me for once! I gave her a lot of her firsts and actually made one of her dreams happen...I was her best in many things.....I will have my spot in her mind and heart until the end....I definitely know it....

I think you also need to know that healing and getting over someone takes time, especially in a long term relationship. The thing that you need to concentrate on right now is to start NC.

Think of breaking NC as taking a smoke. You know it's bad for your health and the consequences are disastrous. If you rationalize your need of looking at her stuff, it will be much easier to apply NC. Next time you want to look at her stuff tell yourself: "It's like taking a smoke, it's bad for my health and I won't do it".

jaffeyjoeblaze · Dec 7, 2009, 11:57 AM

Originally Posted by paxe

I think you also need to know that healing and getting over someone takes time, especially in a long term relationship. The thing that you need to concentrate on right now is to start NC.

Think of breaking NC as taking a smoke. You know it's bad for your health and the consequences are disastrous. If you rationalize your need of looking at her stuff, it will be much easier to apply NC. Next time you want to look at her stuff tell yourself: "It's like taking a smoke, it's bad for my health and I won't do it".

I was about to check it now during work... even though its private and I just wanted to see her status and pic... BUT I STOPPED AND CAME RIGHT BACK HERE!

I just want to stop being so nauseated and light headed

paxe · Dec 7, 2009, 12:08 PM

Every time you want to break NC, come back here and vent. Whatever you do, don't break NC.

jaffeyjoeblaze · Dec 7, 2009, 12:32 PM

I feel so sick right now... I keep resisting... like I just want to throw up or pass out

jaffeyjoeblaze · Dec 7, 2009, 12:56 PM

So I actually just broke NC by trying to use a twitter account of my friends... this morning I couldn't see her info but I added her so I could see but she had yet to accept the request...

So I tried to check up on her again and somebody must be watching me or something because twitter was undergoing maintenance, so I saw nothing and I am actually relieved...

sabrewolfe · Dec 7, 2009, 01:08 PM

Originally Posted by jaffeyjoeblaze

So I actually just broke NC by trying to use a twitter account of my friends....this morning I couldnt see her info but I added her so I could see but she had yet to accept the request.....

So I tried to check up on her again and somebody must be watching me or something because twitter was undergoing maintenance, so I saw nothing and I am actually relieved.....

You really need to quit obsessing and stalking this girl, nothing will ever get better by doing that.