[amicon]

I think you know the answer-ignore her forever. Your life's good now,no need to let her mess it up again. Let it go.

[talaniman]

Your instincts are dead on as nothing good can come from a friend like this. NC forever sounds good. Next time she catches you, being busy is better than being annoyed.

[paxe]

You shouldn't even answer her calls, email or texts. NC is complete NC. As for her, like you said, bad karma. She doesn't have the courage to be alone and to top it off, I think she's trying to make you jealous and to control you. She wants you as a second option, but like you said, good thing the cycle is broken. You can look forward to other things in life now.

[jmw0713]

She is using you for emotional support while she is going through this. She is not strong enough to deal with this crap on her own, so she is looking to you as a shoulder to cry on until she finds someone else.

You will never get what you want from her and she will continue to use you this way. NC forever is the only thing that will end this.

You need to tell to never call, text, or email you again. I just went through the Same situation with my ex. The guy she left me for, dumped her and within a week she started calling me all the time asking for this and that and wanting emotional support. I eventually found out her game after a few weeks and cut her off. I told her straight-up, face to face, not to contact me anymore. It has been a month since we talked, and I already know that was the best decision for myself.

Why be an emotional tampon for someone who doesn't want to be with you? She didn't support you while you were suffering. Why support her? Those privileges where revoked when she broke up with you.

[Yosomoton213]

I'm not responding any of her calls, texts, or emails.

You're right, she's afraid to be alone. She always has to have someone. She is the weak link and would drag me down if I let her. I don't think this girl will ever be happy on her own.

I enjoy my alone time, and have great friends and activities planned out to spend my time. I don't need a girlfriend, and am just happy "doing my thing".




I ain't looking for nothing... but a good time.

[jmw0713]

Actually, rather than ignore her, tell her not to contact you anymore. That would be the most honest and direct way to end all of this.

Why put up with her even ringing your phone? Every time she does, you are going to look to see who it is and start thinking. When they don't call, you don't think.

[Yosomoton213]

Well, I tried being nice and telling her that, but she insisted that I was "being a baby" and that it was "just lunch". When I told her to not call or text, she said I was being "cruel, after all the time she loved me and that she still cares for me."

So, I pretty much told her to p*** off.

[Yosomoton213]

I think regardless of what I say, she will still do whatever she wants to do. That is her personality... very self-oriented. She doesn't really care what I want. I think the best course of action is to ignore her.

[jmw0713]

If being nice doesn't work, then it's time to put your foot down. You're doing this for yourself, not for her. Tell her "You lost your privilege to talk to me when you kicked me to the curb! I'm done with you! Take a hike!" and leave it at that.

Look how she is disrespecting you by calling you a "big baby" and making you feel like the bad guy. Don't fall for that. If she thinks you're being cruel, what about when she tore your heart out and kicked you to the curb??

How cruel was that?

All of that crap is her way of try to keep you around as a back-up when things go wrong.

It time for you take control of the situation and tell her how it's going to be. It's the only way you are going to get over this.

[Yosomoton213]

Exactly. I was thinking of just being the calm in the middle of a hurricane and letting all her texts, calls, emails, insults, or whatever kind of blow right by me. By ignoring her, I can do whatever I want. That way, she doesn't drag me back into her life.

[jmw0713]

If ignoring her doesn't work and these attempts at communication have this effect on you:

every time my phone rings, my heart jumps up to my throat in the hope that my ex is calling

Then you need to tell her to stop.

Hopefully she will get the hint.

[Yosomoton213]

Hahaha if you look at that post, it was from awhile back. Now my reaction is... "oh... here's that crazy bi*** again..."

[Yosomoton213]

Funny how reactions change over time. I've progressed beyond that, at least I'd like to think so. She just argues, and doesn't let it drop. She thinks she is in the right all the time, and that I'm in the wrong.

[jmw0713]

Look at the progress you have made so far. Good job!

[talaniman]

Its got to be a great feeling to see things for what they are, and not through a lot of emotional baggage.

[Yosomoton213]

Yes sir it is. I'm not too worried about it overall, but the girl still knows how to push my buttons and sucker me into an argument. A day has passed and I'm back to situation normal. I just needed to vent for awhile I guess.

Thanks again for all of your help and feedback.

Talimaster- you the man.

[vanheart]

"By ignoring her, I can do whatever I want."

Yes, man.

Don't just say it. Do it.

[amicon]

Yes, just live your life and don't worry about anybody else.

[Yosomoton213]

Threads merged
Hey all,

It's been awhile since I last posted, and I want to share with you some insights on getting over the ex. It happens, you just got to give it some time and space. I also wanted to share with you a funny little story that happened with me over the weekend.

So I was drinking with a few good friends and a lady friend at my favorite bar. We were just having a good time, drinking and whatnot, recounting our favorite times we've had in University (We all graduate very soon). After a couple of drinks, I excuse myself to use the restroom. During the potty break, I manage to "dribble" a bit (no matter how much I shake and dance, the last few drops go down my pants). So I think to myself, "whatever", and go to regroup with my companions. Little did I notice that my ex was with her new boyfriend/toy whatever. I kindly say hello and start heading over to my group. I say to my best friend and confidant, "hey, let's get out of here and go to another bar". It doesn't really bother me that much, but why spoil the good times, right? So we get up to leave, and I have to wait for my lady friend to use the bathroom.

As I'm waiting, the ex approaches, and she asks if I'm seeing anyone. I say, nobody serious, (I'm graduating soon, and I just want to milk the best of my few last weeks at uni. Not really "hook-ups", but more like going out and enjoying my friends). She proceeds to tell me her life story about how she's been through/with many guys since we started dating, they treated her like crap/she's the victim, they weren't as good as me, etc. etc. I say that I'm sorry (I really don't care, but I'm trying to be nice). The whole time I'm kind of chuckling to myself because I have a piddle stain on the front of my trousers. I'm kind of a hot mess right now. Then, when I think that she senses that I'm kind of disinterested in the topic of conversation, she starts talking about sex. She asks me, "Do you miss the sex we had?" My only response was laughter, because I've had a couple of drinks in me and I wasn't really expecting it. She kept talking about how we had great sex, etc. all the while her boyfriend was at the bar, not 15 feet away. I just kept the "uhhh's" and "uhmmm's" going until she stopped talking, which ended with, "I don't want to have sex with you, I just wanted you to know. I'm with a great guy right now who treats me well. And the sex is good too."

And that is when I finally realized that she is kind of bat insane. My lady friend popped out of the bathroom, I sighed with relief, said my goodbyes, and had a long night of drinking with my favorite people. I also laughed about it with my friends afterwards.

My point is, it does get better people. You just have to wait it out, get the "poison" out of the system, and then you begin to see things the way they are. I don't feel like I'm a loser for her dumping me anymore. I just kind of feel sorry for her. I pity her. You just need some time to get rid of the "love fuzz" and the revisionist history that goes along with being dumped.

[paxe]

I loved that story! I think you're doing great yourself and it's a perfect example for other people. Keep it up!