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lmd999 · Dec 3, 2009, 01:22 PM

I have been with the same man for 5 years. We met on a dating website, after my husband and mother died soon after we were together I got pregnant and suffered a miscarriage and a year after that another miscarriage. We have stuck it out all this time. Fastforward to this year all of a sudden my sister has some problems and needed to come stay with us for 2 weeks he changed and started problems with my sis and her man, he said he was sorry and we thought it was dropped but on thanks giving about 5months after she moved out she came to visit and he started acting crazy again and last night my nephew was over when my boyfriend got home from work and wanted me to take him home now when he was not working for about a year and a half I would come home and all his unemployed friends would be here and I wouldn't say a word.

My sister and nephew is all I have for family and I just wanted to get someone else's opinion on what should I do my heart says leave him but I don't know if I should

jaime90 · Dec 3, 2009, 01:32 PM

Leaving your man because he has problems with your sister is just ridiculous. These problems can be worked out with a little communication and finding some middle ground, you just have to put in the effort. It isn't fair for you to have to choose between your boyfriend and your family. Try to work things out before you jump to the decision to just leave him. However, if you have made the decision to leave and have just posted because you are unsure, then you need to leave. The relationship will not work, if you want to leave.

adam_89 · Dec 3, 2009, 01:32 PM

He has no right to be acting the way he is. You should always put your family first. They will always be there for you. He may not someday.

Just Dahlia · Dec 3, 2009, 01:32 PM

Quote: My sister and nephew is all i have for family and i just wanted to get someone else's opinion on what should i do my heart says leave him but i don't know if i should

I think you might have answered your own question already. If he's not worth losing your family over (and not many are) than I would agree with you.:)

adam_89 · Dec 3, 2009, 01:36 PM

Yes like Just Dahlia said, follow your heart!

lmd999 · Dec 3, 2009, 01:37 PM

Thank you for replying there is a lot more to it that was just the tip of the ice burg.

jaime90 · Dec 3, 2009, 01:39 PM

If that's just the tip of the iceburg, and he simply isn't being temperamental, then it's a good idea, as said before, to follow your gut feeling.

adam_89 · Dec 3, 2009, 01:39 PM

You are more than welcome to share whatever you would like here!

talaniman · Dec 3, 2009, 02:24 PM

If this is only the tip of the iceberg, maybe you should have been long gone already.

5 years is to long to be miserable, and confused.

amicon · Dec 3, 2009, 03:15 PM

So if this is the final straw,you 'd be better off leaving him. Is he controlling?

Fr_Chuck · Dec 3, 2009, 03:58 PM

So many issues or question

Why after 5 years is it not husband but still boyfrend

Moving any family into your home is always a mistake it often causes many issues.

If he was a husband, he would and should come first before other family,

So it appears you don't love him to "husband" level and I guess that is your answer

Devorameira · Dec 3, 2009, 06:09 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

moving any family into your home is always a mistake it often causes many issues.

if he was a husband, he would and should come first before other family,
so it appears you dont love him to "husband" level and I guess that is your answer

I know you're getting a lot of differing opinions, but I think you should follow your heart. Boyfriends will come and go, so family should always come first.

None of this is your fault. This is not a question of you not loving him enough or in the right way. He is the one causing the grief in your relationship. A real man who loves you would be sensitive to your feelings and to the fact that all you have is a sister and nephew and that they are having problems. I've seen some opinions indicating that moving a family into your home is a mistake, but I disagree. Family should always be there for family.

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In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony.
- Eva Burrows

jaime90 · Dec 4, 2009, 10:55 AM

My sister moved into my apartment with me and my fiancé for 2 weeks. My fiancé doesn't really "like" my sister. I have so much in my family background it's ridiculous. Giving my twin a place to live caused my parents (and my 3 younger brothers) to "cut all ties" with me and my fiancé (for the 10th time this year.) they are very wishy-washy, and I'm glad my fiancé has put up with it. My family has been abusive, unsupportive, and have tossed me out like garbage, then brought me back probably 100 times in my life. They are not consistent and they are not a healthy family. My sister moved out after some problems, and as far as me and my fiancé go- we are all each other has... I have no family. I do think it depends on the family. I wouldn't say that my fiancé should adore my sister and I should leave him because he doesn't really like my family much- not after all that they've done to us, I can pretty much figure my dad won't be walking me down the aisle.