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howareutoday134 · Dec 2, 2009, 03:07 PM

How do I do that amicon?

I think I'm just going to demand a detailed action plan

Thanks for the help guys but I think talking about it is actually making it harder

talaniman · Dec 2, 2009, 03:37 PM

You don't have to demand there are some good detailed action plans in the stickies, which is recommended reading. There is a link in my signature.

howareutoday134 · Dec 2, 2009, 03:58 PM

I've read most of the stickies I didn't really find an action plan for getting back together? Am I looking in the wrong spot?

talaniman · Dec 2, 2009, 04:21 PM

There is no action plan to get back together.

There are only plans that get you, and your life back together, so you can be happy with who you are and have the dignity and self respect to not fall for the dumb stuff.

Tell you what, stop contacting her for a month, and don't be available to her, and see what happens, and how you feel.

vanheart · Dec 2, 2009, 09:19 PM

Exactly. Listen to Tal.

Give her another week, month, year, or more to figure it out.

emopunk7 · Dec 3, 2009, 01:28 AM

Dude... ur dying to know what's going on so for your own sanity you are going to have to meet with her and speak. Make that day within this week. Obviously, she will say she loves you a lot and she can't be with you yet for whatever reason(s). She will come up with something clever as usual. She knows you so she knows what would work. Point is we already know how and what she will say. When you hear it, try to stay cool and walk away. She may text you and call but you already know what she is up to. You will be sad but you will know that you have to do no contact. Within 2 months you will be cool and better than ever most likely. Better yourself by working out and meeting new people. I know how much it hurts and how hard it is but believe me it is possible. Be strong. I'm rooting for you. Use this spot as a journal that writes back to you. Its pretty cool. Hang in there man. We are here for you.

howareutoday134 · Dec 3, 2009, 07:40 AM

Thanks emopunk I think that you actually understand what I'm trying to say and I appreciate the advice

talaniman · Dec 3, 2009, 08:33 AM

Emo, that was a great way of telling him to feel the pain of running head first into a brick wall. But having done that myself, way back in the day, I know that's the only way some us us learn. I was hoping to save him a head busting, but you can't save everyone.

Thumbs up on a great post.

howareutoday134 · Dec 3, 2009, 08:52 AM

Thanks everyone for the support. Talaniman I know that you are trying to tell me what you know is best in MOST situations. But I don't believe that every situation is the same and that there is always a cut and dry way to approach each situation in life. Throughout our relationship we have been different then most couples our age and believe that we both have a maturity level above those in our same age group. I honestly believe that she thinks that we are working on our relationship even though we really haven't been. But I also don't believe that she knows that I don't think that we have been working on our relationship. I haven't been exactly honest with her about my feelings about this whole situation. I guess I have been trying to play the tough man and let her know that I was OK with taking it slow for awhile when in all reality I wasn't fine with it. So for that its my fault. I guess what I need to do now is to let her know EXACTLY how I feel and see how she responds. She might tell me that she never wants to see me again or she might tell me that she wants to get back together. Or even still she might tell me that she thinks she needs more time. But no matter what this time I need to be honest with her on EXACTLY how I am feeling and let her know that its not OK to take it slow and string me along. More then anything I just need to stand up for myself. But I also can't just walk away from a situation that I myself have let happen. I need to confront her about it and tell her how I feel and see what she has to say and from there decide on what is the best course of action for me. I refuse to give up without a fight and by just walking away from a situation without being completely honest isn't fighting. So ultimately its up to me to just be honest and see where it goes from there. But I also realize from all of your help that I need to watch out for myself first and do what is in my best interest. Sorry for all of the rambling and if this post was to long I just had a lot to get off my chest. Also, sorry if this post made absolutely no sense Ive just been typing what my heart has been thinking. Any input would be appreciated. Thanks Guys and Gals!

talaniman · Dec 3, 2009, 10:13 AM

Howie, I respect your honesty, and even your tenacity. Keep us updated, what ever you decide to do.

emopunk7 · Dec 3, 2009, 12:20 PM

Thank you TMAN!

Howie, when will you guys meet?

howareutoday134 · Dec 3, 2009, 04:04 PM

Emo we are going to be meeting up sometime this weekend. I will let you know how it goes.

Tal thanks a lot that means a lot coming from you. What exactly do you mean by you respect my honesty and tenacity though?

talaniman · Dec 3, 2009, 08:36 PM

I can respect a guy who is willing to take a risk, whatever the consequences, or blessings may come from his actions.

Stubborn guys respect one another.

vanheart · Dec 3, 2009, 10:33 PM

Yeah, hope this meeting gets you out of limbo so you can move on.

howareutoday134 · Dec 4, 2009, 03:17 PM

Thanks guys and wish me luck! I think ill need it

amicon · Dec 4, 2009, 03:31 PM

Ok-here's wishing you luck! :-)

howareutoday134 · Dec 4, 2009, 03:46 PM

Thanks anyone want to give me a couple of questions to ask I'm running a blank?

amicon · Dec 4, 2009, 03:56 PM

Just be yourself and ask what you feel you really need to know.

howareutoday134 · Dec 4, 2009, 03:56 PM

Please?

talaniman · Dec 4, 2009, 04:02 PM

"are we a couple or not" anything but yes, is the wrong answer.