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blKkitty89 · Nov 30, 2009, 12:20 PM

OKay so I've known this guy for about two months now. I really am not sure about the dynamic of our relationship. Not so promulgate promiscuity in anyway, but I was kind of just looking to mess around; don't get me wrong he's totally sweet and funny, but I'm just not into building an intense/serious relationship at the moment. Anyway, long story short, I hang out with him eventually (after like a month) and I cannot seem to refrain, from wanting to make-out, kiss, rub up against him. During the time which this was occurring, he was hilarious, making me laugh and such a great kisser. Passionate and knee weakening. Next time, we end up having sex. It's amazing; not the sex part either but the talking, cuddling kissing following it. Now I can't get it out of my mind. I want it again. He said "all i seemed to do was talk about sex" and this didn't make him very happy I guess. Now he will talk to me but it seems like he's been avoiding physical contact with me. Im confused because I thought he wanted it too. We got into it midly about a week ago and he said he would go out with me but he doesn't see a real relationship (long term). I don't want that though. What is going on in his head? What does he want. Sex or a relationship?

InfoJunkie4Life · Nov 30, 2009, 01:21 PM

You are asking the wrong question. He's willing to go out with you. In his head he expected a long term thing here. He saw a future with you. He wanted a relationship, and probably with sex involved. I see two things happening here. He sees your physical condition. He sees how you don't want an emotional relationship and is willing to work with it. He also knows that is not what he wants and knows that physical relationships seldom last a long time.

Secondly, he really likes you. When you instigated sex you may have hurt him a little. He may have been waiting until he thought you were both emotionally ready. This is why he was so caring before and after. This causes him to see how you feel about the relationship (less emotional) and also to take away from how special he may have been planning it.

Don't get me wrong. I think he liked it. But that's why he avoided you for a while. He had to reconcile in his mind what was happening. He needed some time away from the center of his confusion to think things through.

Goood Luck!

I wish · Nov 30, 2009, 01:33 PM

What happened to this guy? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ot-418398.html

Gemini54 · Nov 30, 2009, 10:09 PM

Um, perhaps you're just a bit too full on?

Remember, guys usually like to be the ones who do the chasing - he might find it a turn off for you to be making all sexual moves and talking about it all the time.

Also, he might not be interested in someone that's only interested in him for sex - guys like to feel like they're special too, and not just for their bodies.

You talk about wanting 'it' again - no mention of him. That's the problem, I think!

And, if you've still got the BF, then it's an even BIGGER problem.

jaime90 · Dec 1, 2009, 10:50 AM

You're basically using him for sex, and he just realized that... That is probably why he is refraining from physical contact, and holding back. No, he doesn't want to be used and messed around and played with, but he doesn't want a "serious" relationship either. A non-serious relationship doesn't have to mean you ONLY have sex, it could mean he just wants to get to know you, etc. without sexual intentions. I think that you should've made your intentions known before you started having sex with a guy you've known for 2 months. He clearly didn't know that you were only in it for the physical and nothing else.
(btw, I think that using someone like the way you are using him is extremely shallow, and cruel. It would do him some good to leave you. Sorry to be so harsh, but I'm sure this is why he isn't touching you anymore.)

Dustin2239 · Dec 1, 2009, 05:16 PM

Taking advantage of a good thing it seems to me. You can't have your cake and eat it too, you have to go through the pros and cons of the situation and figure out which one works out for you best. In the mean time while things are being figured out don't get emotionally attached it can kill a friendship.

Good Luck to you