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AidenRaysMommy · Nov 22, 2009, 10:42 PM

I'm a 16 year old that just had a baby 3 months ago. Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 4 years and we have been having unprotected sex for about a year and a half now. As soon as my 6 weeks were up me and my boyfriend went straight back to having sex. Since I was breastfeeding I had to be on a certain type of birth control. My doctor told me that I have a higher chance of getting pregnant on the pill (we still don't use condoms). Well last month I had a regular period, but about 2 weeks later I got spotting like I did with my first pregnancy. And just recently I've been feeling the way I did with my first pregnancy (nausea, bloating, crapming, constipation, etc.). I have hypothyroidism. Can it possibly be that that's making me feel like this or is it just because I'm super paranoid? I'm not really sleepy/tired, my son sleeps all night so I don't think it can be because of sleepyness. Please help me!

justcurious55 · Nov 22, 2009, 10:46 PM

are you trying for another child already? Isn't one enough for now?
sex=babies. Haven't you figure it out yet? Yes, if you are having sex you absolutely may be pregnant. No birth control is 100% effective. Failing to use condoms when your dr told you that you have a higher chance of pregnancy makes it more likely that you will get pregnant. Again.

have you actually missed a period yet? If you miss your next period, take a hpt. And start using condoms already!

AidenRaysMommy · Nov 22, 2009, 10:53 PM

I'm allergic to latex, and the non latex condoms are really thin and they always broke. That's why we don't use them. I haven't missed a period but my first pregnancy I had bleeding till I was about 15 weeks. But because of the bleeding I was put on bed rest.

justcurious55 · Nov 22, 2009, 11:02 PM

How about the trojan natralamb or whatever they are called? So far I haven't had a single one break yet. And if you think they are expensive... just compare it to yours and your babies medical bills, diapers, food, furniture, clothing, etc. they'll seem pretty cheap. Or, better yet, stop having sex for a while! Or what about other birth control methods? Like spermicides? The sponge? Do your homework. Condoms are not the only birth control.

If you have concerns, you should see your dr.

AidenRaysMommy · Nov 22, 2009, 11:21 PM

Birth control pills are my only option because of my hypothyroidism, not only that I have a blood disorder. My OB said if I get my spleen removed I can try other birth controls. I don't mind the price of condoms, its just they are so hard to find. I have spent over over $200 trying to find condoms that work.

wee_sod · Nov 22, 2009, 11:28 PM

I know this is probably no good advice, but you could always get the sheep skin condoms, and if they are too thin, wrap up twice, that's the only thing I can think of, Or no sex at all lol.

justcurious55 · Nov 23, 2009, 12:47 PM

no. like I said, go do your homework. Birth control pills may be your only choice of HORMONAL birth control. But there are numerous forms of non-hormonal birth control. It's more than just condoms. What kind of condoms have you tried? And how many times have the really broken?

By the way, using two condoms at once is NOT recommended. It makes them more likely to break.
Double-Bagging Condoms?

AidenRaysMommy · Nov 23, 2009, 03:06 PM

Okay, I asked for a simple answer. I don't need you to parent me. I have a mother to tell me all the stuff you are telling me.

justcurious55 · Nov 24, 2009, 12:20 PM

You asked for an answer to a question a 16 year old shouldn't even have to think about. It would be wrong for me to ignore the fact that you are only 16 with a child and on the path to having another child already. So, are you saying that your mother is OK with you having unprotected sex? Does she even know? Has she told you all of your options and you've chosen to ignore her advice? I would think that if you already have a child and may very well be pregnant with another that either a) you're mother is not talking to you about safe sex or b) she's telling you and you're just not listening. Not listening to our parents is common. I think all of us have ignored at least one of our parent's lectures, probably more. Sometimes hearing the same thing from someone else makes the advice stick though.

kayasmommy4109 · Nov 24, 2009, 01:12 PM

Ignorance is not an excuse especially in your situation... and I can say this because I've been in and I am in the sistuation myself I am 17 with a 7 month old and pregnant again... its time for you to grow up and stop taking chances and playing dumb. We tried to prevent our pregnancy but you are taking risk huge risk by having unprotected sex. You have been told by your dr that you have a higher chance of becoming pregnant and if you where on bed rest with your first pregnancy that's a high risk so any other pregnancy could be to so not only are you indangering yourself but a possible child. And because of ignorance you could leave your son with out a mother, maybe you should stop thinking about your boyfriend and your sexual needs and think more about your sons needs. Don't mean to be mean but the truth hurts.

AidenRaysMommy · Nov 24, 2009, 07:55 PM

I'm not even going to waste my time with you. I have a mother and I don't need someone else that I don't even know to try to mother me.

kayasmommy4109 · Nov 28, 2009, 12:15 PM

I am far from trying to mother you, I am trying to help you! And to be honest if I was your mother you wouldn't be so ignorant, because your playing with fire and are going to get yourself into a situation that you are unable to support yourself your son or a possible baby. But most people have to learn the hard way and its horrible that your son has to suffer because of your ignorance

mamaof2boys · Nov 28, 2009, 02:47 PM

If you didn't want to hear the truth of your situation than I can assure you this was the wrong forum to post on. These people are here to try to help you. Ignoring the helpful things people have said to you on here is only going to make you worse off than you are now. You think your boyfriend is going to stick around with you and your 2 kids? Reality is, slim chance. I suggest you put your son before your desires. You may be 16 but you chose to make an adult decision by having sex and having a baby. Now, make the adult decision to prevent that from happening again. And Kayasmommy is speaking from her heart, personal experiences. I think it would be wise to listen to what she has to say.

justcurious55 · Nov 28, 2009, 02:57 PM

And where is your mother in all of this? I'm thinking she can't be too much in the picture since you're on here asking. And you already have a child. If you don't want to listen to us or to her, go talk to your dr. your dr already told you that you have a higher chance of becoming pregnant. Why don't you do the next adult thing and ask about more ways you can prevent pregnancy. Ask what other birth control methods might work for you. And if that dr tried to tell you that there's only one pill that's an option for you then you need to find a new dr. there are numerous forms of birth control out there. If you can't figure out how to find them on your own and you refuse to take our advice, then at least talk to your dr about it.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 28, 2009, 02:58 PM

Of course you can be and most likely are and if you are not yet you will be soon.

First it sounds like you are not using condoms correctly, condoms don't break all the time, and they have many good non latex ones on the market.

Next of course the choice of not having sex.

And let me see, you prefer to breast feed, than to have sexer sex? Why not use birth control and not breast feed??

Next of course it sounds like you have been having sex from at least 14 if not 13, so I am not sorry someone needs to talk to you like a mother should, since it is obvoiius your mother has not been or at least you don't listen.

AidenRaysMommy · Nov 30, 2009, 01:01 AM

My mom is involved in my life a lot actually, I've already told her. There is really nothing she can do. If my boyfriend has stuck around for 4 years then I'm sure he will stick around for many more years. Maybe even forever. I don't struggle paying for health insurance, diapers, clothes, hospital bills, daycare, etc. I'm not like most teen moms. I graduate from high school in January with 3 scholarships! Its not that my mom doesn't try to mother me or she doesn't care. Of course she cares, she a mom. But she know no matter what, having kids isn't going to bring me down. I'm still going to college, if I have 1 or 10 kids. It may be more challenging but I'm still going to do it. Why are people so against teenagers having babies? Is it because of age? Or because they think they will never do something with their life because babies bring them down? I personally think "adults" think its horrible for teenagers to reproduce because they think they aren't mature enough to handle it. I go to school full time, work full time on weekends and still have time to spend time with my son. And I'm not tired. Formula is NOT an option for me. Your body make natural milk. My son was 6 weeks premature. Formula is the lazy/selfish way of feeding babies. I think formula is only acceptable if you aren't able to breatfeed.

Btw, I forgot to mention, the last couple times I had sex I did use a condom. But it broke. Not every time. But once.

I suggest just answering questions and stick to parenting your own children. (if you have any)

justcurious55 · Nov 30, 2009, 01:20 AM

You continue to show your immaturity. If I were your mother, I'd be showing you tough love and would have had your boyfriend in jail for statutory rape long ago. Or at least had a restraining order depending on your state's laws. And you thinking that he's going to stay around forever because he's been around for 4 years is naïve. My cousin started dating her now soon to be ex-husband when I was maybe about 5 (I'm 20 now). They got married about 7 years ago. Had two kids. Didn't struggle financially. They seemed to have it all. Now they're getting divorced. People change over the years. Having kids can dramatically change a relationship. Maybe not immediately. But you can bet things will change. And maybe the two of you can work it out with just the one kid right now. But I wouldn't risk another one at this point in your life.

kayasmommy4109 · Nov 30, 2009, 11:25 AM

Teens are not ready to be parents! I am a teen mother and no matter how much you say you can you cant!! For 1. our bodies are not ready to be carring or giving birth 2. we are not emoitional ready for what a child brings you have been a mother for 3 months you have no idea what being a mother is yet! 3. no matter how mature you think you are you aren't! You are far from an adult and you make childish choices! And as far as you saying your 16 and have finshed school and are going to college I call BS!(my own opion) to grad at 16 you would have had to do almost 3 or 2 years of school in one. (not likely)and your boyfriend sticking around sweetie this is the real world not your fairy tale its very unlikely more power to him if he does but its very slim he does. The other 4 years he was around you both where child free and still kids yourself. And to try to add another baby in the mix is dumb.. I hate to say it but you are going to fall flat on your face! And that maybe what you need is a big wake up call to get you to learn save sex and how to be a real parent that doesn't care about their own needs but their child's

AidenRaysMommy · Nov 30, 2009, 08:22 PM

In the state of Texas as long as your two years apart the state can do anything. Rape? That's not the case. Who said anything about rape. Just to let you know I go to school for pregnant and parenting teens. Its called an accelerated school, look it up. My family is a big family because of the fact of having children early. No one died. And every single person has many medical conditions. In no way were they risking their or their babies lives. And that exactly what my doctor told me to. I'm hispanic. Mine and my families ways of raising kids and being in relationships are way different from ignorant white peoples way. (I'm sure you are whitle because of the fact that your ways of bringing up children is different) I may have been a mother for only 3 months. But my cousin has lived with us for 5 years. She has 3 kids a 4 year old, 2 year old and 1 year old. I was around them all the time. When I used to get home from school I would take care of them till I went to bed. I know what you are going to say, its different because I'm not there all the time. But trust me, there is no difference. If I'm going to get pregnant is nothing you have to worry about. You aren't the one who is going to go through the pregnancy, labor, or caring for the child. I am. Like I said before just answer questions and stop trying to parent people. This website is to answer questions not lecture other peoples kids. And about people changing over time. Nope, hasn't happened to My boyfriend. I've known him since I was 4. He has been the same person. The only thing that has changed is that he is getting more mature.

justcurious55 · Nov 30, 2009, 08:57 PM

You are the ignorant one here. I am Hispanic. And I have a large family. And no one on the larger, Hispanic side of my family had to have kids while they were still kids to help create the large family.

I wish you the best. I really do. I hope that you really are able to do well in school. And I hope that things continue to work out between you and your boyfriend. But it worries me when you can't figure out how to use contraceptive or be open to seeing why you should not being have children right now at this point in your life.