[Laurenmichele8]

Hey! I've recently found out that I'm pregnant :):) however my man doesn't seem to want to have sex because he says he's scared of hurting me with being pregnant...

I guess my question is... how do I make him want me?

I'm only 18 and he's a 30 year old man and his sex drive isn't and never has been particularly high but I'm really in need at the minute and I feel I'm not woman enough to make him want me.. any ideas on how I can boost his sex drive + make him forget about hurting me..

[Alty]

Tell him the truth, that a healthy woman with a healthy pregnancy doesn't need to worry about having sex. It's a natural thing and perfectly safe during pregnancy, unless your doctor has advised you against it.

[jmjoseph]

My wife's doctor told us that as long as my penis didn't look like a baby's arm, we could have all the sex we wanted. The baby wasn't in any harm, I don't think we were in the same area code.

If your man is acting this way now, when you are in your first trimester, he needs to get past this NOW, before you get to your third.

Take him with you to your next appointment with the OBGYN, and get the doctor to talk to him.

Congratulations on the baby, and I hope you get laid soon.

[Mistique]

Well... this is the issue with a lot of pregnant or expectant mothers. This is also a normal concern for men... I found the book: What to Expect When Your Expecting very helpful and it even has a chapter in there for him! If you have a healthy pregnancy and there are no concerns then sex should be fine (after a while when you start to become a bit bigger in the tummy there will be some position changes :rolleyes:).

Take him to your check ups and keep him involved in the pregnancy. That way if he has any questions he can address it with the doctor as well :). I know especially being pregnant the need to be touched/attractive and desirable is of an issue - you will be facing some insecurities... talk to your man and let him know how you feel. Communication.

[Laurenmichele8]

How do I make him want me though.. I feel that if I get him workd up and stuff then he'll want to... yano... but I haven't a clue where to start now.. I used to just cuddle up to him and give him a kiss that's when I wasn't fussed on the whole sex thing but since becoming pregnant and being turned down I don't no where to start? I have toys, should I introduce them?

[Fr_Chuck]

How long have you been in this relationship ? Do you live together and if so, for how long ?

[Laurenmichele8]

We're not living together and we have been serious for months, not quite a year although I've not been counting... talking about moving in together before bump arrives though I need some sexytime..

[Fr_Chuck]

Just wondered why sex toys and other fun sex things not brought in months ago. It is never wrong to spice up a sex life. And why would this "bump" change plans.

Have him go with you to the doctor and let him hear it from the doctor that sex is OK.

Of course a baby may be the last thing he wanted, perhaps he only wanted a sexy young girlfriend and now a baby has changed the entire relationship and he is not wanting or has not accepted it yet

[Cat1864]

Is this the truth:

im only 18 and he's a 30 year old man and his sex drive isnt and never has been particularily high but im really in need at the minute and i feel im not woman enough to make him want me.. any ideas on how i can boost his sex drive + make him forget about hurting me ..?

we're not living together and we have been serious for months, not quite a year although ive not been counting... talking about moving in together before bump arrives tho i need some sexytime..

If so, then please explain:

From October 19, 2009:

well im currently meeting this guy a couple of years older than me, im 18 hes 22 . He seems to be ignoring me so i asked him what was happening? are you interested in me or not? if no ill leave you alone... he doesnt reply..

From November 9, 2009, about your possibly being pregnant:

Ive been seein this guy now for a couple of months and over Halloween we had sex for the first time,

I don't think I am going to add any advice until you straighten out your story.

[Fr_Chuck]

Darn Cat, there you go and ruin a good question with the truth and facts.

[Alty]

Good super sleuthing Cat.

You are the bomb.

So, OP, who's the baby daddy?

[jmjoseph]

Hey there, little tangled web weaver, what's up? Are you seeing two guys, and asking for help getting MORE sex? It sounds like you aren't haven't any trouble after all. But the big question here is who's the father of the baby? If there is one.

People here don't like to be deceived. It makes us feel as if we can't believe anything that's written here.

[Laurenmichele8]

I didn't want to say he was 30 before because I new what everyone on here would say.. he is 30.. I needed the advice earlier, on the question not on the age gap but I new id be asked for ages anyway which is why I lied.. he's really excited where the baby is concerned, though I have had problems where I have been told that I'm unable to fall pregnant and this is why he is scared.. I only need advice on how to spice up the sex life I don't want to here anything on age gaps because I've heard enough of that from my parents, the age isn't affecting the relationship I'm just stating that he is 30 here now so I can maybe find out if at 30 your sex drive isn't as high or at 30 you want to try different things that I might not even no yet... you no where I'm coming from?we have been seeing each other from end of July, things got serious when things got sexual.. again I didn't want to mention this aspect because I don't want to hear the whole ' your pregnant so soon' talk because again my parents have already been there and have given me that talk.

[Laurenmichele8]

And I apologise for making the relationship sound a little more proper to some before by saying he was 22 but lets be serious, if I said he was 30 then I wouldn't have gotten the proper answers before hand that I needed to hear.. I would have got 'the age gap' this and 'the age gap that ' when in fact it had nothing to do with the age because he's interested in young girls because of bad experiences with ones his own age and he told me that himself..

Im sorry for also trying not to make myself sound like a bit of a 'S***' because of the short time we've been together and how quickly I got pregnant (considering the fact I'm not s'pose to be able to fall pregnant, the pregnancy was not planned at all)

[jmjoseph]

and i apologise for making the relationship sound a little more proper to some before by saying he was 22 but lets be serious, if i said he was 30 then i wouldnt have gotten the proper answers before hand that i needed to hear.. i would have got 'the age gap' this and 'the age gap that ' when in fact it had nothing to do with the age becuz he's interested in young girls becuz of bad experiences with ones his own age and he told me that himself..

Im sorry for also trying not to make myself sound like a bit of a 'S***' becuz of the short time we've been together and how quickly i got pregnant (considering the fact im not s'pose to be able to fall pregnant, the pregnancy was not planned at all)

If you are so sure of what you will get here, and how we are going to respond, you should have all the answers that you need.

And yes, your parents are right.

[Cat1864]

The problem is Lauren that you glossed over some facts that will drastically change the advice you are given. I am not talking about ages, but about health.

Have you been to the doctor yet to get a confirmation of the pregnancy and prenatal care started? I know from the Pregnancy forum that you have a scheduled ultrasound for the cysts in December. Were you planning on waiting until then?

If you only had unprotected sex on/about Halloween, then you are barely a month pregnant at best and with your medical history, you really need to see your doctor before continuing to have intercourse.

[Laurenmichele8]

Doc has everything arranged.. I will still be going up 17th to see about both on the same day as it would make things far easier he said. I asked if intercorse was OK and he has told me that he doesn't see why it should be a problem..

We both think age isn't a problem, he has discussd this with me time and time again. He tells me he loves me , cuddles me, kisses me , is very very affectionate expect for the sexual side of things. It always seems to be me that starts things sexually and he won't try different positions other that him/me on top. I really just need the advice on how to make him want to start things sexually.. like things to say, places to kiss.. what do men usually like/want... that's all the advice I need where this question was concerned..

[Cat1864]

Were you telling the truth about only becoming sexually active with him at Halloween? If so, then you really haven't had time to get to know what each other likes and dislikes.

Best advice: Talk with him. Sit down and have an open discussion about sex and big turn ons and huge turn offs. No pressure, just learning. If you two can't talk about this, then parenting is going to be extremely difficult. This subject will turn out to be easy compared to some of the subjects that parents have to discuss.

[Laurenmichele8]

Yes. Only became sexually active around halloween time and fell pregnant str8 away...

OK thnkx for the help.. ill give it a try

[Synnen]

NO more chat speak.

Type like an adult, or I will treat you like a child and delete your thread.