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Court060503 · Nov 19, 2006, 09:38 PM

I said something when I was drunk to a family member of my boyfriend's that I don't remember saying that made him look bad... it got around to his mom... and now she thinks I'm crazy... this made my boyfriend break up with me even though he shows all the signs of this not being what he really wants... he's torn between me and his mom... what can I do to make things better between me and his mom and get him back?

Krs · Nov 20, 2006, 02:16 AM

Maybe an apology to his mum may help!
Just a thought!

kperr19 · Nov 20, 2006, 02:21 AM

Originally Posted by Court060503

I said something when i was drunk to a family member of my boyfriend's that i dont remember saying that made him look bad....it got around to his mom....and now she thinks im crazy...this made my boyfriend break up with me even though he shows all the signs of this not being what he really wants....he's torn between me and his mom...what can i do to make things better between me and his mom and get him back?

you could try and find out who you siad it to and what you said and then try to explain to your boyfriend you just broke up with what happen and that you were drunk

Krs · Nov 20, 2006, 02:35 AM

Originally Posted by kperr19

you could try and find out who you siad it to and what you said and then try to explain to your boyfriend you jsut broke up with what happen and that you were drunk

Its probably not so wise to try sneak around trying to find out what you said and to whom!

She knows she did wrong, so just a simple apology may be accepted by his mum.

valinors_sorrow · Nov 20, 2006, 05:57 AM

Learn the lesson, show empathy to those it hurt, make amends where necessary, which means to everyone it hurt. Be aware that your apology, to be valid and therefore convincing, needs a statement identifying what you did and a promise about how you won't be doing that again. Then hope you are forgiven since the ball is in their court. If not, then you'll still have the lesson learned for next time. Taking full responsibility for what you did and being willing to change as part of you taking responsibility can and does go a long way to changing peoples's minds and healing the hurt on their side of the experience. This is not the time to take any shortcuts. If you think this isn't worth this kind of effort, then they can conclude that forgiving you isn't either. We all make mistakes -- what is important is what we do about them when we find out we have. It is the opportunity to act like a humble winner instead of an arrogant loser. Good luck!

Court060503 · Nov 20, 2006, 06:39 AM

I know what I said and who I said it to now just because he told me... I just don't remember saying it and I can't believe I did... and I regonize it was wrong... I think he's scared thatits something that can't be forgiven... but his mom doesn't seem to be the type to hold grudge I think she's just really mad right now

Krs · Nov 20, 2006, 06:40 AM

If his mum doesn't hold grudges then she isn't mad!
Apologise to him

Court060503 · Nov 20, 2006, 06:41 AM

We are supposed to sit down and have a talk this afternoon what should I say to him to win him over and convince him that this can be forgivien in time?

Court060503 · Nov 20, 2006, 06:42 AM

Oh no she's mad I know because he tells me... she doesn't hold grudges but she can stay mad for a little while, then get over it , hopefully

Krs · Nov 20, 2006, 06:45 AM

Originally Posted by Court060503

we are supposed to sit down and have a talk this afternoon what should i say to him to win him over and convince him that this can be forgivien in time?

Be totally honest with him.

Court060503 · Nov 20, 2006, 06:52 AM

If I tell him I'm sorry I never meant for this to happen and I really want a second chance... will this make me seem to clingy and scare him... I kind of need specfics

Krs · Nov 20, 2006, 07:32 AM

I think that's fine.
You are simply apologising for a mistake you made.
Just make sure you tell him it will NOT happen again OK.