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    lostone2009's Avatar
    lostone2009 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 7, 2009, 03:43 PM
    My friend's crazy parents
    My friends parents have never met her boyfriend and they have been together for over 6 month and they live together now. Her parents don't like him and told her that if she wants to be with him she has to chose. He is the best thing that has every happen to her. We all like him and other than her parents everyone else in her family like him like her mom's mom and aunts and uncles. Now she doesn't have anything to do with her parents and she is really sad and doesn't understand why they don't like him he hasn't done anything to make them not like him other than being 8 yrs older than her she is 26. She is the type of girl that has always lived at her parents house and helped them with everything cleaning cooking and always done what they have told her too. She had never done things for her self. She had told her parents about him and they said that he was not good enough and said that she couldn't date him. So she moved out and tried to have a relationship with her parents and all they wanted to do is put him down and her. They said that they wished that he would die. He is a really great guy the only thing is that he is a little older but at our age I really don't think that matters. And the only info that her parents found out about it was they looked up and found out were you used to live and said that was a bad place and just rumors from other people which these rumors are not true.They took her house key so she can't get in her parents house and they kept her cat and this will be the first year that she will not spend the holidays with them even though they live about 15 minutes apart. She is really sad and I just don't know what to do to help her:confused::confused::confused:
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #2

    Nov 7, 2009, 03:53 PM
    Has she had any other serious relationships? If so, how did her parents react to them? How did they end?
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #3

    Nov 7, 2009, 08:03 PM

    I would say that she should leave them alone and give them time and space. They should eventually come around. It's difficult to imagine that they would never want to speak to their daughter again.

    It's really difficult for her to sacrifice her happiness for her parents. I think that she would be even more miserable if she had to break up with him and move back home. Her parents' presence will be a constant reminder of unhappiness because she was forced to break up with her boyfriend.

    It really sucks for your friend, but sometimes, we can't always have our cake and eat it too. We have to pick one thing and let the other thing go.
    XOXOlove's Avatar
    XOXOlove Posts: 830, Reputation: 131
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    #4

    Nov 7, 2009, 11:15 PM

    My friends parents have never met her boyfriend
    It doesn't make sense how her parents are judging her boyfriend when they didn't even meet him. Do her parents still talk to her or see her? Perhaps she could bring him with her to her parent's house without telling them that he is coming so they can meet him.
    My parents felt the same way about my brother's wife because they never met her. They were so upset that they didn't even go to their wedding! One day my brother decided to bring his wife with him when visiting us and my parents got to know her and they like her now.
    lostone2009's Avatar
    lostone2009 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Nov 9, 2009, 07:26 AM

    She has had other relationships before and they have lasted about a year but then her parents didn't think he was good enough for her so they broke up. This is the first guy that she has fought to keep. Because she thinks that he is the one. No she doesn't talk to her parents anymore. She is welcome to set up a time to go over to her parents but he is not. They said if she brings him over they will call the police.
    sylvan_1998's Avatar
    sylvan_1998 Posts: 156, Reputation: 45
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    #6

    Nov 9, 2009, 08:22 AM

    Some parents/people are just crazy. They are control freaks. The fact that they have always had a negative opinion about whomever your friend was dating is evidence they do not want to give up control.

    It is amazing that at 26 she has decided to actually take control and sever this relationship. I am not sure they will mend it, because to mend it would be to admit they were wrong.

    I would document all interaction between her and her parents because if these two were to get married and have children, I see the parents vying for custody. Actually, 15 minutes away is not far enough from these toxic people.

    I really wish the best for your friend and I would suggest counciling for her. Her parents are going to try everything to drive a wedge between the tow of them and she needs a sane voice of reason to bounce all information off. She also needs someone to make her strong so she can with stand all that will come her way.

    Good luck.
    lostone2009's Avatar
    lostone2009 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    Nov 9, 2009, 09:06 AM

    Thanks you very much. I will tell her

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