[lexielexs]

I need help on how to tell my firend how I feel about the way her ex I know he like her first really love like he was the one who told her he loves her 1st but is no excuse at how he treats her.. ok here's the story... my friend is my best firend and like she and her ex have been brokin up 4 about 3 years now I guess you could say and like I spent like 2 week out of my summer 2 yrs ago to help her through it and like I guess it went through one ear and out the other like he started datin other girls during this time and every time she would start talking to other guys he would like do something to her to like make her think that they still have a chance and of course she believed it like he would call her and talk to her and like say he would call back and not call back for days and then he would call and ask her to make him cd's and all this stuff and likehe would do different stuff that would drive her crazy and anytime he got a girlfriend she would go on his myspace and get all upset and stuff so that was then and now its our 11th grade year and its suppose to be fun but her ex comes back into the picture some how this year when I thought she was over it cause she was sooooo depress our 10th grade year and she seemed better but the thing is she kept making herself believe that they where meant for each other like she keeps going over how they 1st met and stuff and like he lives behide her so its like uhh.. and like he a football player and all this stuff and my and my other friend know for a fact he see other girls even when he is still talking to her like me and my 2 other friends see how her ex is and how he treats her and she doesn't see it so anyway like I said she keeps convincing herself that's their suppose to be together and like she gives him rides to school everyday she lets him drive her car anytime he wants she takes him anywhere she wants to go and she has chosin him 3 times over me see at may seem like I'm selfish but the thing is is that she says that thei together but their not together like they can't see other people and stuff and me and my friends think that if he really wanted her to be his g/f he'd be with her and claim her as his g/f but he doesn't and me and my other friends know he see other girls but she sees no wrong and like the first time she dumped me and my fiends was at the movies the 3 of us was at the movies and it was close to the end of the movies and she was like ill call you back as soon as we get out the movies she calls him right back she talked to hime the whole time and didn't talk to us and like 30 min later she was like I'm going 2 pic up him up and ill be back and I was like by the time you get back will be gone she was like I doubt it and as soon as she left my mom comes.. ok and the 2nd time she did it she was at my house and she was talking to me and my mom and she was like I have 2 go home to get something ill be right back I was like you won't be back she was all like yes I will I promise I will so when it was time for her to come back she send me a text saying J***** wanted to go to best buy and get a cd and he didn't like the cd so we had to go back and try to exchange it and she was like so I don't think I'm going to make it so again I was like OK and the 3rd time she does it was this weekend and I've had enough this weekend me and my friend we all made plans to go to the basketball game and like maybe go out to eat afterwards so we were like OK that's the plan well we go home and my other friend go's home with me so when we get home my mom comes home and she takes us to saks to get some make up and after my mom gets her make up we go get something to eat at johnny rockets so while we're finishing up eating my t***** texts me saying do you still need a ride to the game I was like yeah duh and when we get to the car she texts me back saying well J***** doesn't like to ride with you cause he feels too awkward and I text back well you can tell mr its to awkward that he doesn't have to worry about it since he's to good to ride with us and of course she thinks I'm playing but in terribly upset so I tell my friend and my mom and they get upset espicially my friend because this is the 2nd time its happed to her and like v****** (friend in car) was like I'm going 2 call her and I was like yeah you do that cause I have a temper and if it was me I would have been screamin on the phone so I didn't want to do that to her so v****** call her and kind of explains to her that it seem like you'd rather be with him than your friends and that we've already made plans so they hang up and t****** call our other friend s*** crying asking her if she can pick us up but I had already asked s*** is she could take us so to the game at the game I barely talked to t****** and when me s*** and v****** get in the car s*** say that the thing that suprises her is that t***** let j***** take her care to get something to eat which is crazy so basically all of us know he is using her but I don't get how she doesn't see it and I'm so upset with her that I don't know what to do I want to talk and tell her so badly I don't know how to approach her because we want to help her she feels like she needs a guy around to be happy and her ex is really not worth having I want someone to help how I should tell her and approach her cause every since that day happened there's this awkwardness there between us all and she acting like nothing happed except at lunch she'll talk to me in our other classes and I the main 1 angry but at luch she won't talk to me s*** or v****** so can someone please help me with this cause I'm like sick with having this on my mind all the time

I really appreciate if anyone can help me sorry its so long but I need some advice

[simoneaugie]

i need help on how to tell my firend how i feel about the way her ex i know he like her first really love like he was the one who told her he loves her 1st but is no excuse at how he treats her..ok heres the the story...my friend is my best firend and like she and her ex have been brokin up 4 about 3 years now i guess u could say adn like i spent like 2 week out of my summer 2 yrs ago to help her through it and like i guess it jus went through one ear and out the other like he started datin other girls during this time and everytime she would start talking to other guys he would like do something 2 her to like make her think that they still have a chance and of course she believed it like he would call her and talk to her and like say he would call back and not call back for days and then he would call and ask her to make him cd's and all this stuff and likehe would jus do different stuff taht would drive her crazy and anytime he got a girlfriend she would go on his myspace and get all upset and stuff so that was then and now its our 11th grade year and its suppose to be fun but her ex comes back into the picture some how this year jus wen i thought she was over it cause she was sooooo depress our 10th grade year and she seemed better but the thing is she kept making herself believe that they where ment for each other like she keeps goin over how they 1st met and stuff and like he lives behide her so its like uhh..and like he a football player and all this stuff and my and my other friend know for a fact he see other girls even when he is still talkin to her like me and my 2 other friends see how her ex is and how he treats her and she jus doesnt see it so anyway like i said she keeps convincing herself thats their suppose to be together and like she gives him rides to school everyday she lets him drive her car anytime he wants she takes him anywhere she wants to go and she has chosin him 3 times over me see at may seem like im selfish but the thing is is that she says that thei together but their not together like they can't see other ppl and stuff and me and my friends think that if he really wanted her to be his g/f he'd be with her and claim her as his g/f but he doesnt and me and my other friends kno he see other girls but she sees no wrong and like the first time she dumped me and my fiends was at the movies the 3 of us was at the movies and it was close to the end of the movies and she was like ill call you back as soon as we get out the movies she calls him right back she talked to hime the whole time and didnt talk to us and like 30 min later she was like im goin 2 pic up him up and ill be back and i was like by the time you get back will be gone she was like i doubt it and as soon as she left my mom comes ..ok and the 2nd time she did it she was at my house and she was talkin 2 me and my mom and she was like i have 2 go home to get somethin ill be right back i was like u wont be back she was all like yes i will i promise i will so when it was time 4 her to come back she send me a text sayin J***** wanted to go to best buy and get a cd and he didnt like the cd so we had to go back and try to exchange it and she was like so i dont think im goin to make it so again i was jus like ok and the 3rd time she does it was this weekend and ive had enough this weekend me and my friend we all made plans to go to the basketball game and like maybe go out to eat afterwards so we were like ok thats the plan well we go home and my other friend go's home with me so when we get home my mom comes home and she takes us to saks to get some make up and after my mom gets her make up we go get somethin to eat at johnny rockets so while we're finishing up eating my t***** texts me sayin do you still need a ride to the game i was like yeah duh and when we get to the car she texts me back sayin well J***** doesnt like to ride with yall cause he feels too awkward and i text back well you can tell mr its to awkward that he doesnt have to worry about it since hes to good to ride with us and of course she thinks im playin but in terribly upset so i tell my friend and my mom and they get upset espicially my friend b/c this is the 2nd time its happed to her and like v****** (friend in car) was like im goin 2 call her and i was like yeah u do that cause i have a temper and if it was me i would have been screamin on the phone so i didnt want to do that to her so v****** call her and kind of explains to her that it seem like you'd rather be with him than your friends and that we've already made plans so they hang up and t****** call our other friend s*** cryin askin her if she can pick us up but i had already asked s*** is she could take us so to the game at the game i barely talked to t****** and when me s*** and v****** get in the car s*** say that the thing that suprises her is that t***** let j***** take her care to get somethin to eat which is crazy so basically all of us know he is using her but i dont get how she doesnt see it and im jus soo upset with her that i dont know what to do i want to talk and tell her so badly i jus dont know how to approach her because we want to help her she jus feels like she needs a guy around to be happy and her ex is really not worth having i jus want someone to help how i sould tell her and approach her cause every since that day happend theres this awkwardness there between us all and she actin like nothin happed except at lunch she'll talk to me in our other classes and i the main 1 angry but at luch she wont talk to me s*** or v****** so can someone please help me with this cause im like sick with having this on my mind all the time

i really appreciate if anyone can help me sorry its soo long but i need some advice

You're right, he is using and abusing her. She refuses to see it, even when it's staring her right in the face. You have tried to explain it to her as have others. She doesn't get it! You are hurt and losing sleep over it, aren't you?

Let me tell you about my niece. She graduated high school and started seeing a guy. After he visited her house a few times, her dad told him that he wasn't welcome in the house. Her dad is laid back and very easy-going. I asked him why he was so harsh. "Because he was so rude, critical and manipulative to all of us, I needed to not see him or I would have knocked him out!" So, since she can't see the boyfriend at home, my niece moves in with her grandparents who begin feeding him 2-3 meals a day. He was sleeping on their couch whenever his mom kicked him out. He's in his early 20s, has never been able to keep a job. Then his rudeness and verbal manipulation got to grandpa who told the boyfriend he was not welcome in their house either. The boyfriend continued to sneak in a window to sleep with my niece until he got caught and my niece was sent home.

A few weeks after she moved back in with her parents, she found out that she was pregnant. Almost the same day the boyfriend winds up in jail because his mother reported him for domestic violence. Now, he is out of jail, the baby was just born and his mom pays 6 months rent on an apartment for them. Everyone on my side of the family is helping her move and care for the baby... except the boyfriend who is hanging around my niece's girlfriend's house, all day. If asked, my niece would say that there are a few problems but she loves him.

Sometimes it is so clear that someone is being used and abused, to us. But the person being abused is blind to it. Maybe you will have to do the tough love thing. Tell her that you love her but cannot hang around with her if she is spending time with him. I think that in any case you should distance yourself from her. She's acting insane. And you can't fix her!