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wicked215 · Oct 30, 2009, 04:17 AM

Over the past year I have become a very confused male 18 year old.

I became very good friends with another male the same age as me about this time last year and he is the person that I would regard myself closest to out of all my other friends. I can tell him everything, and he tells me everything.

But the thing that is confusing me is that I don't know if he is gay or not. He is always hugging me, sitting on my lap and if I'm just sitting on a bed he will always come over to me and lay on top of me. Also, he always likes to be next to me if we are in a big group of people and things like that. Recently, we have started holding hands in quite romantic ways, which is nice at first, but then It sort of just hits me what I'm doing.

However, it never seems like he is joking around. I always sort of go along with it but I've started to really think about it in more depth.

I have spoken to him before about it and he said that it's nice to have someone that he can be this close to and trust enough to do stuff like we do. But then he is still very much attracted to girls.

I just need some opinions on what to do,

Thanks

J_9 · Oct 30, 2009, 05:42 AM

Doesn't sound like normal heterosexual behavior between two men to me.

medic-dan · Oct 30, 2009, 07:52 AM

You describe his as a "very good friend." You further state that he is glad the you are someone that he can "be this close to and trust enough to do stuff like we do." You both trust each other and tell each other everything.

I'm not suggesting that either of you are homosexual. I do think that you both have a very close relationship, more so than you are willing to admit. Now, you are beginning to question the actions of your friend. Why? Has he made any advances towards you?

So he likes to hug you. I see nothing wrong with that.

Holding hands and allowing him to "lay on top" of you or sitting on your lap, well, those are not typical behaviors. Did you ask him why he does that? Is he close to his father? Any brothers? He may not understand how to relate to another male.

Tell him you're not comfortable with some of these actions. But, do it tactfully. He is obviously important to you or you'd have just let him go.

Remember one thing, society sets the norms, we do not have to accept them. If you are comfortable with how you relate to your friend then it is OK to do what you want. You are both adults.

artlady · Oct 30, 2009, 08:07 AM

This sounds like a homosexual relationship from my perspective.
I have two sons and have seen their behavior with other males and it is never intimate in any physical sense.

Most heterosexual males would feel very awkward with this type of physical intimacy.

If he is still very much attracted to girls than he is either Bi or is still in the closet and afraid to come out.

Some bi sexual people find that they like one sex for a sexual relationship and another sex for companionship.

The only way to know where he stands is to talk it out.
If you are such good friends ,open honest communication should be easy.

Ask him what he means by his attraction to females.Is that exclusive or is he also attracted to men?

Sounds like he is conflicted and may need to talk this out with a good friend.

smoothy · Oct 30, 2009, 10:01 AM

Sounds very homosexual to me as well. Its just NOT typical post adolescent guy type behaviour at all. Hell the average guys go out of their way to avoid touching each other even sitting on a couch watching football, except for friendly back pats, hand slaps and rough housing.