[talaniman]

Captain, stop hijacking someone else's thread, you have your own to comment on about your own situation.

[amicon]

It's not a question of being rude or not-once NC there should be no more communication, including birthday cards.

[Something_Here]

Thanks for all your feedback guys!
I've been telling myself all day that she does not wish to get back together, she's probably curious because I haven't contacted her, or she wants to talk about what went wrong or something. I will try to keep my expectations at an absolute minimum.

I'm fairly nervous about tomorrow, partly because I'm nervous about what she's going to say, but also because I know it'll be a setback, and I'll feel like s**t afterwards. Hopefully I'll cope with it better this time around.

[talaniman]

I think you will, because your eyes are open, and you vision is much clearer.

Much luck.

[Something_Here]

Well I just came back. She wanted to be friends, told her it was a bad idea. She looked beautiful today, so now I miss her like h*ll again. Both as expected. I'll post more later, now I'm just going to rant in my journal for a bit.

[talaniman]

Thumbs up sticking to your conviction, despite how good she looked. The journal venting is also an excellent move.

[Something_Here]

Thanks, but it wasn't hard to turn her down. After a while it was just so painful to be sitting there without being able to hold her hands or play with her hair or kiss her or anything. She also mentioned in passing how this guy had hit on her, and just the idea of her hooking up at a party or something is enough to kill me, so I knew friendship would never work, although it seemed like she genuinely wanted it and me as part of her life, and wasn't just trying to ease her own guilt. I made a record breaking entry into the journal today...

[kctiger]

Thanks, but it wasn't hard to turn her down. After a while it was just so painful to be sitting there without being able to hold her hands or play with her hair or kiss her or anything. She also mentioned in passing how this guy had hit on her, and just the idea of her hooking up at a party or something is enough to kill me, so I knew friendship would never work, although it seemed like she genuinely wanted it and me as part of her life, and wasn't just trying to ease her own guilt. I made a record breaking entry into the journal today...

Well done. I have been in your shoes before and it sucks, but I'm proud of you. :)

[Something_Here]

Thanks. I think I'll recover more quickly this time, although it's painful to think about this great girl that I lost. I'm trying to see the silver lining here; if I was able to attract this beautiful, outgoing, resourceful, great girl now, then hopefully I'll be able to find another great girl later (Hope that doesn't sound too arrogant :P).

[kctiger]

Thanks. I think I'll recover more quickly this time, although it's painful to think about this great girl that I lost. I'm trying to see the silver lining here; if I was able to attract this beautiful, outgoing, resourceful, great girl now, then hopefully I'll be able to find another great girl later (Hope that doesn't sound too arrogant :P).

I have every ounce of confidence you will! Good luck buddy!

[talaniman]

I'm trying to see the silver lining here; if I was able to attract this beautiful, outgoing, resourceful, great girl now, then hopefully I'll be able to find another great girl later (Hope that doesn't sound too arrogant

No doubt.

[nickaust]

Buddy I knoow what you are saying... Im going through the same thing right now but I don't understand girls at all. My girl friend said to me that we need to take a break from our relationship but we are not breaking up... now to make things worst she texted me yesterday asking me how's everything is going so I texted back saying Im good... Now I don't know if we have broke up or what.. Now this pit is advice from my best friend who is a girl "Dont call her send her a text answer the phone nothing that will really upset her. If your friends or family answer the phone tell then to tell he that you are busy don't have any contact with her that will make things worst for you its going to be hard I know because I want to ring my girlfriend right now... GOOD LUCK

[Something_Here]

[once more, sorry about the long post. The journal wasn't enough today]

I was feeling better... I'm just a textbook example of why NC is important; I was just beginning to feel better, but after sitting down with her for an hour, a lot of emotions came flooding back. She looked stunning, beautiful, cute as... It hurts to think about this truly amazing girl that I lost (I have her on a pedestal, I know).

She wanted to be friends, and I said that I need some time and space to get over her, as I still have feelings for her, but that maybe we could try to be friends somewhere down the line (kinda doubt it). She asked me to contact her once I felt like I was ready.

I asked her why she thinks we broke up. I asked about some of the stuff that I've been mentioning here in the past few weeks, but she didn't feel like age had been a problem. She didn't feel like communication had been a problem either - which is good - but after we talked about it for a while I still felt like this is something we could have done better.

What she did see as a problem though, was our personalities; she felt that we were too different. She mentioned as an example how she's always stressed and works her a** off until she becomes ill, while I'm more laidback, "I do what I feel like" as she put it. I'm in business school, so I'm not totally without ambition - I think she was talking more about attitude here. Anyway, I think she may have had a point.

Whether you want to say it's due to personality, age, maturity, different interests, or whatever, she's probably right that we were too different for it to work in the long run. Like Talaniman said, you can have fun, but once it stops being fun, then maybe it's time to move on.

She did say one thing that had me pondering though. I can't remember exactly how she phrased it, but she talked about how she had liked it in the very beginning, when we were just hanging out, how she liked it then. I think she said something about us being friends at that time, because I was thinking to myself that we've never been just friends, there's always been some undercurrent of attraction (for me at least). I asked her if she felt like it had become too serious, and she said no. She was also the first one to express her feelings for me, so...
I don't know, maybe she doesn't want to be tied up in a relationship, she's a real party girl.

Which bothers me by the way. She likes to party, she's very outgoing, cute, and she'll often get pretty drunk, so I know it's just a matter of time before some douche hits on her. I hope it'll be long before she gets a new boyfriend, that would just totally destroy me at this point.

[TrueFaith]

You have said about 200000 times that she is pretty.. pretty pretty

And she goes out and gets drunk.
So you got a young hot girl getting drunk..

Needless to say myfriend you have no faith in her.. nor trust.. which.. stands to reason after what she has done.

She has broken up with you.. to go off and have fun. And not being in a serious relationships

It hurts like hell
And you seeing her again was a massive mistake.
Remember this

Out of sight.. only a memorie.. feelings fade.
In sight.. Feelings get mixed up.. and only pain

All the best

[talaniman]

I'm just a textbook example of why NC is important

I learned the hard way too. About the importance of NC, and it doesn't matter the reasons for a break up! Not at all. It still sucks.

[Something_Here]

Needless to say myfriend you have no faith in her.. nor trust.. which.. stands to reason after what she has done.

I don't feel like trust was an issue when we were a couple, but maybe you're right, maybe that's changed now. I guess I don't have faith in her walking the straight and narrow, so to speak... She can do whatever she wants of course, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it...

She has broken up with you.. to go off and have fun. and not being in a serious relationships

I got the impression that this was part of the reason yeah. Although she didn't really say so, it seems like this might have been a factor.

it hurts like hell
and you seeing her again was a massive mistake.
remember this

Out of sight.. only a memorie.. feelings fade.
In sight.. Feelings get mixed up.. and only pain

It was worth it just to get rid of the uncertainty, but yeah, hurts like h*ll. Had the urge to
Contact her just now, but I just thought of how much it hurt when I saw her again .That'll keep me motivated.

all the best

Thank you! :)

[amicon]

Hang on to that-contact hurts and that s one pain you don't need.
Keep healing,one day at the time. Be patient with yourself and be good to yourself.
Keep posting and take care.

[Something_Here]

Today it's been one month since she broke up with me. Although I think about her all the time, miss her like crazy, and although there's still pain, I am getting better, if ever so slowly. Yesterday I was sitting in the cafeteria at school by myself, just smiling because I was in a good mood. It's something that would often happen, but hasn't happened in a while.

I keep thinking about what Friend4U wrote:
"Remember the person you were when you first met your ex and get that person back."
I want that person back. Hopefully it won't be too long before I find myself again.

[amicon]

You re getting there,remember time's on your side.

[Something_Here]

Thanks. It sucks to be forced to get over her, but it's better than the alternative.