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New Member
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Oct 27, 2009, 06:12 AM
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Is 16 too young to get pregnant?
I was just wondering if I am able and ready to look after a baby at the age of 16, I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now and we thinking of trying for a baby but I would really like some advise and other peoples opinion! Thanks :)
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BossMan
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Oct 27, 2009, 06:14 AM
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is 16 too young to get pregnant?
- YES!!
Can you support yourself AND another human being financially, I very much doubt it!!
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New Member
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Oct 27, 2009, 06:18 AM
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OK, do u think girls my age are able to look after a baby or do u think id do a hopless job?
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New Member
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Oct 27, 2009, 06:22 AM
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 Originally Posted by Curlyben
- YES !!!
Can you support yourself AND another human being financially, I very much doubt it !!!!!
OK, do u think girls my age are able to look after a baby or do u think id do a hopless job? Sorry I'm not very good at these posts, I've just signed up for it
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BossMan
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Oct 27, 2009, 06:24 AM
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You have way too much growing up to do BEFORE you even consider such a MASSIVE life changing decision!!
Are you financially stable ?
Does your boyfriend have a job, house, car etc?
Or are you simply going to scrounge off the state and dump the child on your parents??
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New Member
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Oct 27, 2009, 06:34 AM
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 Originally Posted by Curlyben
You have way too much growing up to do BEFORE you even consider such a MASSIVE life changing decision !!!
Are you financially stable ?
Does your boyfriend have a job, house, car etc ??
Or are you simply going to scrounge off the state and dump the child on your parents ?!?!?!
I was hoping for feedback telling id be useless because realistically,
I am 18 years old and I have 2 children, my fiancé is a self employed carpenter and is bring home plenty on money to financially suport us all, I will be looking for a job also as soon as my daughter start school, we have a car and a van for my boyfriends work, we live in our own house with a mortgage, I have never parmed the girls off to anyone and have only been baby sat about 3-4 times, they both doing really well and some people say they are very advanced! My health vistior and midwives have allways praised me on how much of a good job I have done with both my girls, one is 17 months and my new addition is 9 weeks old!
The reason I added this post is because I've seen posts about girls getting pregnant young and things people say to them about them not couping and being real cruel and rude to them, I just wanted to prove that not everyone is incabable of looking after another life, now I am a mother I understand what I put my mother through saying I am pregnant at 16 and I agree people should think long and hard about the choises they have and if they can look after another life but I also think that teenagers who can do it and have done a great job without social funds deserve some credit and people shouldn't think because we're young we can't do anything!
Thanks
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Junior Member
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Oct 27, 2009, 10:16 AM
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 Originally Posted by staceyminx
i was hoping for feedback telling id be useless because realistically,
i am 18 years old n i have 2 children, my fiance is a self employed carpenter and is bring home plenty on money to financially suport us all, i will be looking for a job also as soon as my daughter start school, we have a car and a van for my boyfriends work, we live in our own house with a morgage, i have never parmed the girls off to anyone n have only been baby sat about 3-4 times, they both doing really well and some people say they are very advanced! my health vistior and midwives have allways praised me on how much of a good job i have done with both my girls, one is 17 months n my new addition is 9 weeks old!
the reason i added this post is because ive seen posts about girls getting pregnant young n things ppl say to them about them not couping n being real cruel n rude to them, i just wanted to prove that not every1 is incabable of looking after another life, now i am a mother i understand what i put my mother through saying i am pregnant at 16 and i agree people should think long n hard about the choises they have n if they can look after another life but i also think that teenagers who can do it n have done a great job without social funds deserve some credit and people shouldnt think because we're young we can't do anything!
thanks
She's right. I'm 19. With two an 1 year old and due any day. I'm making it but it's hard.
just stay a kid as long as you can
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New Member
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Oct 27, 2009, 10:21 AM
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 Originally Posted by brittanymommy08
She's right. I'm 19. with two an 1 year old and due any day. I'm making it but it's hard.
just stay a kid as long as you can
Thank you, it is hard but I'm having the best time of my life with my 2 little girls! I know some teenagers can't coup with kids and shouldn't have them but older people still put any teenager down for having kids just because they're younger! But I would like everyone to know that some teenagers can do a better job than those older! Thanks
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Ultra Member
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Oct 27, 2009, 10:42 AM
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 Originally Posted by staceyminx
i was just wondering if i am able n ready to look after a baby at the age of 16, ive been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now and we thinking of trying for a baby but i would really like some advise and other peoples opinion! thanks :)
So this post was to prove what?
If your saying that teenage pregnancy is OK and it's a fairy story,well that's just a crock of crap.
The majority of teenage pregnancies end in disaster for all parties... I will grant you there are rare exceptions,however to say its all going to be OK is beyond irresponable for any teenager to read that.
I had two children as a teenager,and I for one can say it was NOT OK,it was NOT fun and everything did NOT turn out rosy.
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Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
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Oct 27, 2009, 10:45 AM
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So your first post was a fake to try and prove a point? Frankly, we don't like getting played with here.
For every teenager who has a child and makes a success of it, there are many more who don't. Teenagers who wind up on welfare, kids who grow up with absentee or deadbeat dads, parents who resent their kids for the change they caused in their lives.
So in answer to your original question, we can't answer whether you or any 16 year old are able to "look after a baby". There are too many other factors involved. Family support, the father's ability to financially support the new family, your maturity level, and many more.
But if you are asking whether it's a good idea for teenagers to have children, the answer is a resounding and definite NO! The odds are too stacked against it working out well for all concerned.
I like Brittany's advice very much; "just stay a kid as long as you can"
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Expert
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Oct 27, 2009, 10:49 AM
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 Originally Posted by staceyminx
i was hoping for feedback telling id be useless because realistically,
i am 18 years old n i have 2 children, my fiance is a self employed carpenter and is bring home plenty on money to financially suport us all, i will be looking for a job also as soon as my daughter start school, we have a car and a van for my boyfriends work, we live in our own house with a morgage, i have never parmed the girls off to anyone n have only been baby sat about 3-4 times, they both doing really well and some people say they are very advanced! my health vistior and midwives have allways praised me on how much of a good job i have done with both my girls, one is 17 months n my new addition is 9 weeks old!
the reason i added this post is because ive seen posts about girls getting pregnant young n things ppl say to them about them not couping n being real cruel n rude to them, i just wanted to prove that not every1 is incabable of looking after another life, now i am a mother i understand what i put my mother through saying i am pregnant at 16 and i agree people should think long n hard about the choises they have n if they can look after another life but i also think that teenagers who can do it n have done a great job without social funds deserve some credit and people shouldnt think because we're young we can't do anything!
thanks
You OBVIOUSLY can't TYPE like an adult---why should we TREAT you like an adult?
You ARE too young. If your boyfriend left, what would you do? Do you even have your high school diploma?
Look, my mom was 16 when she had me. My parents have now been married 35 years, and have made a pretty successful life. THEY ARE AN EXCEPTION. If you REALLY thought you were old enough to be a parent, then why aren't you married? Or is it that parenting just isn't as big a commitment to you as marriage is?
You deserve some credit for not mooching off the system, but THOUSANDS of parents do that EVERY DAY. Good for you. But how many of the young girls asking actually WOULD do that?
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New Member
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Oct 27, 2009, 11:35 AM
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 Originally Posted by ScottGem
So your first post was a fake to try and prove a point? Frankly, we don't like getting played with here.
For every teenager who has a child and makes a success of it, there are many more who don't. Teenagers who wind up on welfare, kids who grow up with absentee or deadbeat dads, parents who resent their kids for the change they caused in their lives.
So in answer to your original question, we can't answer whether you or any 16 year old are able to "look after a baby". There are too many other factors involved. Family support, the father's ability to financially support the new family, your maturity level, and many more.
But if you are asking whether its a good idea for teenagers to have children, the answer is a resounding and definite NO! The odds are too stacked against it working out well for all concerned.
I like Brittany's advice very much; "just stay a kid as long as you can"
No I'm not saying its OK for teenagers to get pregnant, I'm just saying don't rule out any possibility of a teenager having a baby just because they are younge! Quite frankly it makes me abit mift that people like you just think anyone under the age of 19 are imature kids who can't take responsibility for anything, I would die for my girls and no one could ever tell me that I'm an irrasponsibly mother! I may be 18 with 2 kids but I do have my head screwed on and I am happier than I have ever been in my whole life, both me and my partner have a savings account for my daughters so they can do well in their lives, I never missed out in any education, because I had finished my gcse's with good grades and have been doing my a levels in business studies and maths! I'm not saying its OK for just anyone to have kids I'm just sick of older people thinking not a single teenager can coup with kids! It makes me so mad because I know that SOME teenagers are capable and I've seen the looks people give to younge mother and it makes me sick!
 Originally Posted by redhed35
so this post was to prove what?
if your saying that teenage pregnancy is ok and its a fairy story,well thats just a crock of crap.
the majority of teenage pregnancies end in disaster for all parties...i will grant you there are rare exceptions,however to say its all going to be ok is beyond irresponable for any teenager to read that.
i had two children as a teenager,and i for one can say it was NOT ok,it was NOT fun and everything did NOT turn out rosy.
I'm not saying its going to be a faily tale at all because its not, yes it is hard and having kids is a lot to take on! I'm not advising teenagers to get pregnant! I'm just saying that older people should think ALL teenagers are in capable! I've loved spending all my time with my daughters and I am not imbarrist of them one bit!
I'm sorry you wasn't happy having your kids and your life didn't turn out the way you wanted, but mine has!
I'm just sick of people thinking no one under the age of 20 is mature enough for kids! Ill stick up for any teenage mum that has done a good job, if a teenager is pregnant and is able to love the baby, put a roof over its head, cloth it and afford a baby then why can't they have kids??
Ill repeat I AM NOT SAYING ITS OK FOR ANY TEENAGER TO GET PREGNANT, IM NOT SAYING ITS OK FOR JUST Anyone TO GET PREGNANT, IM JUST SICK OF PEOPLE GIVING YOUNG MUMS TERRIBLE LOOKS JUST BECAUSE THEY KEPT Their CHILD AND IS LOVING IT!
 Originally Posted by Synnen
You OBVIOUSLY can't TYPE like an adult---why should we TREAT you like an adult?
You ARE too young. If your boyfriend left, what would you do? Do you even have your high school diploma?
Look, my mom was 16 when she had me. My parents have now been married 35 years, and have made a pretty successful life. THEY ARE AN EXCEPTION. If you REALLY thought you were old enough to be a parent, then why aren't you married? Or is it that parenting just isn't as big a commitment to you as marriage is?
You deserve some credit for not mooching off the system, but THOUSANDS of parents do that EVERY DAY. Good for you. But how many of the young girls asking actually WOULD do that?
So are you trying to say I'm not mature enough to look after my own daughters? Do you enjoy upseting people and making them feel worthless? In one of my posts I put my Fiancé which means we're engaged and we are planning our wedding! (we haven't got married any sooner because we rather spend money on our house and girls, we don't need papers to prove we love eachother) why do you want to make me out as a bad mother? To be honest I am really upset at what some people say! Do you have kids? If so would you appreciate someone telling you you're a bad parent even if they don't know you? No I don't have a deploma but I wouldn't have done that whether I had my girls or not, I have good grades in gcse's and I am currently doing my A levels! I have just proved that people hate teenage mums regardless to whether they do a better job than older mums! There are people in their 30's having kids that they can't look after! Why pick on the teens even if they are in a secure relationship and a financially stable! All I know is I love my two girls more than anything in the world and would do anything for them, I have never felt such unconditional love until I had my girls! Me and my fiancé are still strong together and plan to have more kids in the future! I don't care what people like you got to say, I know and everyone around me knows that I AM a good mother, and are doing better than many parents do!
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Expert
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Oct 27, 2009, 02:10 PM
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No... I have a problem with ANYONE that uses chat speak and can't spell. Especially someone who is as smart as you say you are.
I don't have kids--because I chose adoption when I was pregnant as a teenager. Every other person I've known who got pregnant as a teenager has serious regrets about it, whether they became good parents with time. VERY few of them made it without living with their parents or mooching off the system. As I said--if you've done that, good on you. But there are THOUSANDS of people that wait until they are prepared to have kids before having them who ALSO don't mooch off the system.
I never said you didn't love your kids. I never said you were a bad mother. I just wonder what you would do if all of a sudden your fiancé left you, or was killed in an accident. Can you afford to support your kids on your own? You'd get NO benefits from his death at this point, because you have no legal relationship to him. THAT is the reason I think that people should be married FIRST--because then at least you have legal rights if something happens to your partner.
If you really did PLAN to get pregnant at 16, then I really can't believe that you ARE as smart as you say you are anyway.
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Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
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Oct 27, 2009, 02:25 PM
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 Originally Posted by staceyminx
no im not saying its ok for teenagers to get pregnant, im just saying dont rule out any possibilty of a teenager having a baby just because they are younge! quite frankly it makes me abit mift that people like you just think anyone under the age of 19 are imature kids who can't take responsibility for anything, i would die for my girls and no one could ever tell me that im an irrasponsibly mother! i may be 18 with 2 kids but i do have my head screwed on and i am happier than i have ever been in my whole life, both me and my partner have a savings account for my daughters so they can do well in thier lives, i never missed out in any education, because i had finished my gcse's with good grades and have been doing my a levels in business studies and maths! im not saying its ok for just anyone to have kids im just sick of older people thinking not a single teenager can coup with kids! it makes me soo mad because i know that SOME teenagers are capable and ive seen the looks people give to younge mother n it makes me sick!
First, you aren't listening. No one, especially not me, has said that there are no teenagers capable of caring for a child. The maternal instinct can be very strong and it can account for a number of things. But being capable of raising a child doesn't mean you should have one. There are other factors involved. At 16 a girl is still young and should be enjoying the transition from adolescent to adulthood rather then having it forced on them with a child.
I don't know what threads you have read here but we treat each case differently. When a 14-16 yr old posts that they are contemplating having a child, we ARE going to try to talk them out of it because the odds are stacked against them. And that's the bottom line.
Now I'm going to assume here that your writing is so bad because you are angry at us and just dashing off these responses. I know that feeling. But your use of chat speak and the many misspellings and lack of grammar do not speak well for your level of education or maturity. You may be a very smart, mature woman, but its hard to tell from what you have written here.
 Originally Posted by staceyminx
IM JUST SICK OF PEOPLE GIVING YOUNG MUMS TERRIBLE LOOKS JUST BECAUSE THEY KEPT THIER CHILD AND IS LOVING IT!
I think this is the real issue for you. I think the looks are not because you kept your child, but because you had it in the first place. The stigma of getting "knocked up" as a teen has been vastly reduced, but not eliminated. There was a time, you might have been sent away to have your baby to give it up for adoption. You seem proud of your children and how well you have done and you SHOULD BE! I applaud you for it. But I totally disagree with your faking a question and the whole premise of your post. You are taking your anger out on people who care about others and are trying to give the best advice they can. We are not the enemy.
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Pets Expert
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Oct 27, 2009, 02:27 PM
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 Originally Posted by staceyminx
i was just wondering if i am able n ready to look after a baby at the age of 16, ive been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now and we thinking of trying for a baby but i would really like some advise and other peoples opinion! thanks :)
Stacey, here's your original post. The lie you created to prove your point.
So tell me, as the mature responsible person you claim to be, what would you advise if someone had actually written this post?
Would you tell that 16 year old to try for a child, even though you know that you're the exception to the rule, not the norm? Would you tell them it's a piece of cake, easy, no problem, go for it?
If so, you're not as mature as you think you are.
Would you tell your daughters that it's a good idea to try and conceive at 16?
We're all adults that have lived through our teen years. Do you really think we give the advice we do because we're mean? The advice we give is from years of living and learning, making mistakes and paying for them. What we do here is try and prevent others from making the same mistakes or even worse ones.
To tell a 16 year old that it's okay for them to get pregnant on purpose, that they'll be fine, is irresponsible and untrue.
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Ultra Member
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Oct 27, 2009, 02:57 PM
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 Originally Posted by staceyminx
im not saying its going to be a faily tale at all because its not, yes it is hard and having kids is alot to take on! im not advising teenagers to get pregnant! im just saying that older people should think ALL teenagers are in capable! ive loved spending all my time with my daughters and i am not imbarrist of them one bit!
im sorry you wasnt happy having your kids and your life didnt turn out the way you wanted, but mine has!!
im just sick of ppl thinking no1 under the age of 20 is mature enough for kids! ill stick up for any teenage mum that has done a good job, if a teenager is pregnant and is able to love the baby, put a roof over its head, cloth it and afford a baby then why can't they have kids???
ill repeat I AM NOT SAYING ITS OK FOR ANY TEENAGER TO GET PREGNANT, IM NOT SAYING ITS OK FOR JUST ANY1 TO GET PREGNANT, IM JUST SICK OF PEOPLE GIVING YOUNG MUMS TERRIBLE LOOKS JUST BECAUSE THEY KEPT THIER CHILD AND IS LOVING IT!
Your right I was not happy and had too work damn hard to get where I am today.. I am independent of the state I am a trained professional and I can send my children to college...
Times change,relationships change,and people get older and mature...
At 37,I can now see the woods for the trees,if my daughters had a child I would weep for them and the loss of their freedom and youth,and the burden of responsibility that children bring at any age but particularly at a young age.
As regards the way people look at young mothers,the majority of young mothers cannot support their children and rely on the state,tax payers support them,I once needed that support,now I help supply it in tax.
What goes around comes around.
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Expert
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Oct 27, 2009, 03:06 PM
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Stacey, I want to congratulate you for being the exception to the rule. However, deceit will get you nowhere. You came on here specifically to deceive us and that's just not right.
Now, I am going to speak from a medical standpoint... since I am a labor and delivery nurse as well as a newborn baby nurse.
The younger a woman is, the higher the risks of certain birth defects as well as potential life threatening pregnancy risks. At 16 there is a very high risk of down's syndrome (almost as high as with older than 35 years of age), as well as pre-eclampsia, eclampsia, HELLP Syndrome, premature labor and delivery, etc.
You see, at 16 your body is still growing and needing all of the nutrients it can get. Pregnancy takes away these nutrients leaving your body and the health of the baby at risk.
So, again, you are the exception. You just need to stop the deception.
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New Member
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Oct 27, 2009, 03:18 PM
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How mature are you that you need to prove this to everyone else? In my opinion having a baby at ANY age is hard it changes your whole life no matter what situation your in. I agree that girl should judged for getting pregnant at a young age but judged or not there's always going to be some kind of struggle.
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New Member
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Oct 27, 2009, 03:26 PM
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 Originally Posted by Synnen
No...I have a problem with ANYONE that uses chat speak and can't spell. Especially someone who is as smart as you say you are.
I don't have kids--because I chose adoption when I was pregnant as a teenager. Every other person I've known who got pregnant as a teenager has serious regrets about it, whether or not they became good parents with time. VERY few of them made it without living with their parents or mooching off of the system. As I said--if you've done that, good on you. But there are THOUSANDS of people that wait until they are prepared to have kids before having them who ALSO don't mooch off the system.
I never said you didn't love your kids. I never said you were a bad mother. I just wonder what you would do if all of a sudden your fiance left you, or was killed in an accident. Can you afford to support your kids on your own? You'd get NO benefits from his death at this point, because you have no legal relationship to him. THAT is the reason I think that people should be married FIRST--because then at least you have legal rights if something happens to your partner.
If you really did PLAN to get pregnant at 16, then I really can't believe that you ARE as smart as you say you are anyway.
I can spell but I use text writing because its easier (I can still talk to my TEENAGE friends the same way as I used to, that doesn't have to change when you become a mum) since when does spelling have anything to do with it anyway?
I'm not going to lie, my first daughter was not planned, but that doesn't change the way I feel about her! I'm getting tierd of people putting me down on here I just want people to know that not every teenager is the same,
I'm really sorry that it couldn't work out for you as a teenager and I have nothing against you choosing the right option for your baby but you shouldn't have anything against people who can do it!
I'm 18 now and I have been with my partner for 4 years, my kids have a lovely home, they probably have too many clothes, they're well fed, everything I have was baught by either me or my partner, (not the social) we have been on holidays to farm parks and fun places for the girls, kianna (my oldest daughter) had a fantastic birthday party! I just don't want to be known as a teenage mum who can't coup! I'm not like other teenage girls who can't afford a baby, I have friends who have had baby's young and yes they have palmed their kids off to their grand parent and one girl I know palmes her son off to anyone who will have him, THAT is wrong and I am against people like that but can't anyone just understand that some teenagers can do it!
Ps I've never been on social funds or what ever you call it but why is everyone against people getting help? At least then they're not letting their child suffer, my mother was on social funds and with her not having much money made me the person I am today, people with money have spoilt their kids and they have become greedy and hate it if they can't have something! I'm really glad my mother kept me and braught me up the way she did, my mother loved me as much as I love my girls!
Anyway I'm not replying to any more of these because the people on these polls are just selfish and are only thinking about their life story instead of thinking people can accually be happy!
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Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
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Oct 27, 2009, 03:26 PM
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 Originally Posted by staceyminx
i have just proved that people hate teenage mums regardless to wether they do a better job than older mums!
You have proven nothing. I don't know where you get the idea you proved anything.
You have shown a level of immaturity by using deceit. You have shown a level of insecurity by your rants about people hating teenage mothers. I think you are not as secure or happy in your decision as you claim. Otherwise, I don't think you would have the anger you do.
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