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jaime90 · Oct 25, 2009, 03:03 PM

Be honest, and ask her.

KillerInstinct · Oct 25, 2009, 03:19 PM

Originally Posted by artlady

If people always stayed in their comfort zones,fearing possible rejection....nothing would get done in this life!
Who knows,she could be having the same doubts as you?

I've talked to one close friend about this, and he has made the same remark, 'maybe she feels the same/is confused' I REALLY know that I should just go for it. I go to a school with 8000 people, and I have other friends so if it went badly, I'd be fine minus feeling "let down"

artlady · Oct 25, 2009, 03:21 PM

Originally Posted by KillerInstinct

I've talked to one close friend about this, and he has made the same remark, 'maybe she feels the same/is confused' I REALLY know that I should just go for it. I go to a school with 8000 people, and I have other friends so if it went badly, I'd be fine minus feeling "let down"

Then GO FOR IT!
Its not like you are asking for her hand in marriage!
Live up to your screen name :D

KillerInstinct · Oct 25, 2009, 03:22 PM

Originally Posted by artlady

Then GO FOR IT!
Its not like you are asking for her hand in marriage!
Live up to your screen name :D

Maybe I will.. but how/where/when (if that even matters)?
And :D my screen name should have been "IwishIhadKillerInstincts"

artlady · Oct 25, 2009, 03:30 PM

Originally Posted by KillerInstinct

Maybe I will..but how/where/when (if that even matters)?
And :D my screen name should have been "IwishIhadKillerInstincts"

I would call her,not text and ask her if she wants to catch a movie with you.Be specific on the day and time.
Ask her if she has seen(insert movie) and tell her you have been wanting to see it.
After the movie,go out for a bite to eat and discuss the movie.
One step at a time :)

KillerInstinct · Oct 25, 2009, 03:39 PM

Hm. Sounds good. I really want this work

KillerInstinct · Oct 25, 2009, 03:47 PM

Anyone else have any imput or insight into the situation? Sometimes she seems closer or maybe interested, whereas sometimes she acts like just some random guy.

artlady · Oct 25, 2009, 03:52 PM

Does she have a friend who you could talk to ,to sort of feel out the situation?
Is this your first time asking a girl out?

KillerInstinct · Oct 25, 2009, 03:53 PM

Originally Posted by artlady

Does she have a friend who you could talk to ,to sort of feel out the situation?
Is this your first time asking a girl out?

I think that the only friend of hers who I could talk to might still say something to her :S

And no, not really.. but its been a while. I was with my last girlfriend for two years.. So almost 2 years since I asked her out, and another 9 months for the girl before

talaniman · Oct 25, 2009, 05:27 PM

Geez guy, just take a breath and just ask her out, without anyone else in your business. If she says no, then that avenue is over and we move on.

Amazing how fear of whatever just complicates things.

jaime90 · Oct 25, 2009, 06:39 PM

Honestly, that's really the worst that will happen, it will be awkward and she will say she's not interested. You're not going to die, awkwardness can be fixed- if she's that great of a friend you guys can recover if you get denied.
I wouldn't ask her out before asking her feelings on the matter. If you jump into asking her out on a date, she could see that as you just trying to push it without her consent. You guys are friends, respect the woman, tell her how you feel (honesty, it's an attractive trait for a man or woman.) And give her time to process if she needs it. If she says she'd like to pursue a relationship, THEN ask her on a date.
This isn't exactly jr. high where you have a crush on a girl, and just ask her out. It's a more respectful approach to ask the person about their feelings first.

artlady · Oct 25, 2009, 06:48 PM

jaime90 disagrees: So if you're not in it for "her hand in marriage" you're in it for "her heart to be broken?" Are you in it for "her emotions in a saw mill?" Or is there another option that I don't know about??

Clearly you do not know the rules for a disagree.
I did not give any factually incorrect information.
In the future keep your reddies at bay until you understand the protocol!

Cat1864 · Oct 25, 2009, 07:31 PM

Killer, is this the same girl?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ew-401823.html

As long as you are not using dating her as a rebound and both of you are free, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't ask her out.

As Artlady said, you only want a date to see where it goes from here. If you were asking for marriage or children, that would be awkward. :)

talaniman · Oct 25, 2009, 07:32 PM

Dating is for having fun getting to know each other. How else can you tell if you click enough to risk more. Dragging it out too much has all kind of weird things going through your mind. If she says no your still friends. That's why keep it simple. Don't think love, romance, and feelings, think Starbuck's and roll. Mickey D's and fries, but with company. " I'm hungry, are you? My treat." Not rocket science. Fancy plans say romance, just spending time says friends.

Then you get to have the time to pay attention to the personal dynamics.

Hey it's a date, not a proposal. If she says NO, asks someone else.

Never know, your fixation on her, may be distracting you from other options, and opportunities.

Cat1864 · Oct 25, 2009, 08:57 PM

Originally Posted by jaime90

Honestly, that's really the worst that will happen, it will be awkward and she will say she's not interested. You're not going to die, awkwardness can be fixed- if she's that great of a friend you guys can recover if you get denied.
I wouldn't ask her out before asking her feelings on the matter. If you jump into asking her out on a date, she could see that as you just trying to push it without her consent. You guys are friends, respect the woman, tell her how you feel (honesty, it's an attractive trait for a man or woman.) And give her time to process if she needs it. If she says she'd like to pursue a relationship, THEN ask her on a date.
This isn't exactly jr. high where you have a crush on a girl, and just ask her out. It's a more respectful approach to ask the person about their feelings first.

I disagree with your opinion: Um... why should he pour out all of his feelings and ask permission to ask for a date? Why not just ask for the date (nothing big, maybe lunch or a campus event like a 'fall fair' or Winter concert) and see where it goes from there? His feelings may not be what he thinks they are and finding out is a part of dating.

'Don't put the cart before the horse' is very appropriate in this case.

natealter · Oct 25, 2009, 09:05 PM

Just come out and ask how she feels and if it would maybe be worth it to be more than friends and see what happens! =D

artlady · Oct 26, 2009, 05:30 AM

The worse she can say is no and guess what that isn't going to kill you.
May make the cunones shrink for a second but the good news is they perk right back up :)

talaniman · Oct 26, 2009, 05:42 AM

I think if you have known someone for as long as you have and been spending time with her then asking her out would be no problem, so keep it simple, and just ask her. Then you'll know how she feels and if you should pursue more. Your making this way to complicated than what it need be.

KillerInstinct · Oct 26, 2009, 07:30 AM

1- No not same girl as the other thread.
2- Lol yeah I am scared, but I'm going to call her tonight and ask her to a movie or something. I might as well get this over with, it is killing me trying to figure out how she feels even though I'll never know unless she tells me which requires me making a move.

artlady · Oct 26, 2009, 08:47 AM

Originally Posted by KillerInstinct

1- No not same girl as the other thread.
2- Lol yeah I am scared, but I'm going to call her tonight and ask her to a movie or something. I might as well get this over with, it is killing me trying to figure out how she feels even though I'll never know unless she tells me which requires me making a move.

Good for you but I get the impression you sound MAD.
The way you sounded was Maddlike. Taking the bull by the horns,do that gently.
Be yourself sweetheart,your seem pretty cool to me :)