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KillerInstinct · Oct 1, 2009, 09:28 PM

Ya, that was the thing. When I bumped into her, we sat there for like 45 minutes and I felt very comfortable and enjoyed myself. Normally I'm very shy around girls but I wasn't at all. But yeah, maybe I'll ask her out.. now to do what? Hmm.

Just Looking · Oct 1, 2009, 09:31 PM

It sounds like you know her to some extent already. What types of things does she like to do? It also depends on what you can afford - not so easy when you are a student, sometimes. The thing is when a girl likes a guy they don't care what the date is as long as it's a chance to spend time with him. Personally, I liked dates where we could talk and laugh and have fun, often sports related. It really depends on what the two of you like. You could just go get something to eat. Don't make it elaborate. Make it fun.

friend4u178 · Oct 1, 2009, 09:32 PM

Originally Posted by KillerInstinct

Well, I left my ex almost 2 months ago. I've barely spoken to her since and the only problem is occasionally "missing" her..or the idea of her.

Doesn't matter how long it's been , the issue is are you Totally over her??

If not then don't get someone else involved just to give yourself a little fix , that's not fair on her. Even though you may feel that you are actually attracted to this other girl it could just be your after a self esteem boost.

Just get over the Ex first , it'll work out so much better for you in the long run.

ajGambino · Oct 1, 2009, 09:34 PM

Originally Posted by killerinstinct

the only problem is occasionally "missing" her..or the idea of her.

Red flag.

I believe your new friend is going to get hurt.

KillerInstinct · Oct 1, 2009, 09:36 PM

Originally Posted by ajGambino

Red flag.

Yeah. But its gotten a lot better in the last couple weeks.

BlackVY · Oct 1, 2009, 09:41 PM

I agree wit the guys on this... its too soon and you are not over your ex totally enough for you to get involved in another relationship.

Best thing to do now is to be friends with this new girl, hang out, have fun, but don't jump into a relationship with her until you are 100% sure you are totally over your ex. Only you know when that is.

Also, just a little piece of advice, its never "Out with the old, in with the new" in relationships. Get have something real and long-lasting, you must lose that kind of thinking...

KillerInstinct · Oct 1, 2009, 09:42 PM

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Doesn't matter how long it's been , the issue is are you Totally over her???

If not then don't get someone else involved just to give yourself a little fix , thats not fair on her. Even though you may feel that you are actually attracted to this other girl it could just be your after a self esteem boost.

Just get over the Ex first , it'll work out so much better for you in the long run.

1. no not totally.
2. I don't think so, I actually really like who she is.
3. yea probably, I don't want to hurt the new girl, even if not intentionally

friend4u178 · Oct 1, 2009, 09:48 PM

Originally Posted by KillerInstinct

2. i don;t think so, i actually really like who she is.

Sure and that's great , I wasn't actually trying to infer you were using her or anything like that.

Hey just be patient and it'll work out as long as you don't rush into anything.

Good Luck buddy :)

BlackVY · Oct 1, 2009, 09:50 PM

That's cool... All good... just take your time and see how it goes... once you are totally over your ex, you will be free to give your heart to whoever you choose... and they will be lucky because they won't have to share even a tiny fraction of you with your ex.

All the best :)

KillerInstinct · Oct 25, 2009, 02:29 PM

I've known this girl for 5 years. We've always been friendly. 2 months ago, we started talking more and spending more time together. I have developed feelings for her, and I want to get more intimate with her but I don't know how she feels about me. What should I do?

~Killer

sully123 · Oct 25, 2009, 02:37 PM

Ask her out to dinner and to a movie. Unless you have done that already. Does she feel the same way towards you elaborate more.

KillerInstinct · Oct 25, 2009, 02:40 PM

Originally Posted by sully123

Ask her out to dinner and to a movie. Unless you have done that already. Does she feel the same way towards you elaborate more.

I have no idea how she feels towards me to be honest. She'll compliment my looks, etc. but then will talk to her friends about so and so hot guy while I'm there. I'm not sure if she is confused, or just is like that with all guys, but from what I've seen, she isn't so I don't know.

sully123 · Oct 25, 2009, 02:44 PM

Sounds to me she is considering you as a friend for now. If you want to pursue this further than just ask for a night out with just the two of you, start from there. Or just flat out and ask her how she feels about you.

I wish · Oct 25, 2009, 02:45 PM

Tell her how you feel and see what she says. You won't know how she feels until you ask.

KillerInstinct · Oct 25, 2009, 02:47 PM

Originally Posted by I wish

Tell her how you feel and see what she says. You won't know how she feels until you ask.

Well, yes I could tell her. But what do I do if she doesn't feel the same? Wouldn't that make things weird?

artlady · Oct 25, 2009, 02:50 PM

Just have a conversation about people in the friend zone.
Discuss with her what she thinks about people who are friends,can they ever be more?
Is it better to be friends first in a relationship?
Get her feedback on the issue,just having a casual conversation.
Or if you want to know where you stand specifically ask her.
Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet,take a deep breath and Go for it!

I wish · Oct 25, 2009, 02:51 PM

Originally Posted by KillerInstinct

Well, yes I could tell her. But what do I do if she doesn't feel the same? Wouldn't that make things weird?

If she doesn't feel the same way, then you find someone else.

It will only be weird if both of you allow it to be weird. If she rejects you, you will definitely need some time apart to recover. Otherwise you will just continue to over-analyze everything she says and have false hope.

Once you've recovered, and if you were meant to be friends, it will happen naturally. Otherwise, a friendship wasn't going to work out anyway, because right now you're just talking to her more because you are interested in her.

artlady · Oct 25, 2009, 02:55 PM

Originally Posted by KillerInstinct

Well, yes I could tell her. But what do I do if she doesn't feel the same? Wouldn't that make things weird?

Not necessarily.
I have told male friends before that I am not interested in anything but friendship and we moved on and stayed good friends.
It depends on how mature you both are whether it is weird or not.

KillerInstinct · Oct 25, 2009, 02:58 PM

Originally Posted by artlady

Not necessarily.
I have told male friends before that I am not interested in anything but friendship and we moved on and stayed good friends.
It depends on how mature you both are whether it is weird or not.

I'd hope to stay good friends.

And yeah, I need to just "bite the bullet". But for whatever reason, I just can't pick up the phone and ask her out. I don't know why it's so hard for me. Its like I'm expecting some girl to all of a sudden show a great deal of interest in me, enough that I can just know they "want me" to make a move. I don't know how to come out of my shell and pursue someone I'm really interested in.

artlady · Oct 25, 2009, 03:03 PM

Originally Posted by KillerInstinct

I'd hope to stay good friends.

And yeah, I need to just "bite the bullet". But for whatever reason, I just can't pick up the phone and ask her out. I don't know why it's so hard for me. Its like I'm expecting some girl to all of a sudden show a great deal of interest in me, enough that I can just know they "want me" to make a move. I don't know how to come out of my shell and pursue someone I'm really interested in.

If people always stayed in their comfort zones,fearing possible rejection... nothing would get done in this life!
Who knows,she could be having the same doubts as you?