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    basketballlover's Avatar
    basketballlover Posts: 69, Reputation: -3
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    #1

    Oct 22, 2009, 06:58 PM
    My dad the alcoholic
    What is the definition of neglect? If my dad is an alcoholic and is leaving me alone till about 11 pm at night, would that be considered as neglect. I'm 15. My dad and I barely see each other 3 hours a day. The only food we have in the house is junk food. We have almost no food in the fridge and he comes home drunk almost every night. Only to come home to drink more. Most likely the vodka in the fridge. What can I do?
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #2

    Oct 22, 2009, 07:01 PM

    He is responsible to feed you, to provide adequate nourishment, but you're old enough to stay home alone until 11pm.

    Where's your mom?
    basketballlover's Avatar
    basketballlover Posts: 69, Reputation: -3
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    #3

    Oct 22, 2009, 07:06 PM

    I don't live with her because of abuse issues
    Sprung09's Avatar
    Sprung09 Posts: 71, Reputation: 4
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    #4

    Oct 22, 2009, 07:08 PM

    I am not sure if it would be considered neglect because in most states you are allowed to stay at home alone at age 12. But, no, what is happening is not right and is hard for any kid to deal with. My father was an alcoholic for a lot of my child hood. It hit home with hime when I spoke to him about how it was affecting me.

    I know it is hard, but have you tried to approach him while he is sober about the issue?

    If not, or if you feel that is not an option because I am not sure of all of the circumstances, you could approach him while he is sober about doing something together. Such as going fishing, camping or something recreational that you could do together.

    Another option would be to talk to your school counselor about it to see what resources in your community are available?

    Stay strong and remember learn from his mistakes don't repeat them. Hope this helps and don't give up.
    basketballlover's Avatar
    basketballlover Posts: 69, Reputation: -3
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    #5

    Oct 22, 2009, 07:22 PM

    Its not always that early though. He will sometimes come home at 1 or 2 in the morning. I have tried to approach him, however he doesn't think he has a problem and every time I bring it up he tells me I'm being stupid and I don't have a degree in physical education so he knows health issues better than I do. However he is also 54 and weighs about 235 pounds. He is in bad shape. He has a lot of heart conditions and whenever he is home he usually brings out the vodka bottle or stays at home for 30 min the goes to the "bank." which usually takes 5 hours. I do talk to my school counsellors but at the end of the day they can't do very much. It helps to have a person to talk to though. Thank you.
    Sprung09's Avatar
    Sprung09 Posts: 71, Reputation: 4
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    #6

    Oct 22, 2009, 07:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by basketballlover View Post
    its not always that early though. he will sometimes come home at 1 or 2 in the morning. i have tried to approach him, however he doesnt think he has a problem and every time i bring it up he tells me im being stupid and i dont have a degree in physical education so he knows health issues better than i do. however he is also 54 and weighs about 235 pounds. he is in bad shape. he has alot of heart conditions and whenever he is home he usually brings out the vodka bottle or stays at home for 30 min the goes to the "bank." which usually takes 5 hours. i do talk to my school counsellors but at the end of the day they can't do very much. it helps to have a person to talk to though. thank you.
    It sounds like you are trying very hard and if that is not resulting in anything than make sure not to blame yourself for any of it. And it is hard to realize but no one can be helped with their issues until they are willing to be helped. That is the really hard part about it all.

    Other than being strong and not giving up have you looked into anything that deals with the state. Maybe not necessarily going as far as social services, but there are so many groups out there that deal with this issue maybe they may have some insight. Like Mothers against drunk drivers (MADD), groups like that I know would be more than willing to help.
    basketballlover's Avatar
    basketballlover Posts: 69, Reputation: -3
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    #7

    Oct 22, 2009, 08:05 PM

    Thank you.

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