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nymammaof3 · Oct 12, 2009, 11:02 AM

My son's father has never been a part of his life.. when i told him i was pregnant he wanted m to get an abortion and i told him no.. he has never had visitation or anything, by his choice. I havent talked to him in 4 years, my son is now 5 almost 6 and now his father wants to me go to the court house and petition for him to sign off his rights so that he does not have to pay child or medical support. I was told that in the state of new york that he cannot sign off his rights unless i get married and my new husband wants to adopt my child. but that does not mean that he doesnt have to pay child support. can someone please give me some advice on how this works?? Thank you sooo much

:)

stevetcg · Oct 12, 2009, 11:52 AM

He cannot sign off his rights unless there is an adoption,

IF there is one his obligation would also be terminated.

Basically he owes support until you are married and your husband adopts. Then he doesn't owe anymore. Your ex's desires here mean nothing... he pays until you tell him he doesn't have to anymore.

That answer your question?

rockstrzfem · Oct 12, 2009, 03:57 PM

Hi there, my best friend went through this situation. He cannot request that his rights to the child be signed away... he is unfortunately biologically responsible to pay child support right now. You can file with a lawyer for his rights to be terminated, but it is hard to do if you are single with no other parent figure in the picture. If you get married or engaged and your partner is willing to adopt your child, he will probably be obligated to pay any back child support owed until his parental rights are terminated and you and your attorney may have to prove that he is unfit. My best friend went to her lawyer as soon as she was engaged, proved that the sperm donor was unfit due to multiple arrests, and her now husband adopted her daughter about a year later... it takes time, but it can be done.

Synnen · Oct 12, 2009, 04:05 PM

There's a legal difference between a sperm donor and a biological father.

Stop degrading those men who choose to donate their sperm to those couples who cannot have children of their own by comparing them to a deadbeat that some silly woman actually SLEPT with to get pregnant.

ScottGem · Oct 12, 2009, 04:07 PM

In EVERY state a parent cannot just give up their rights. ONLY a court can terminate parental rights (TPR). And courts are VERY reluctant to issue them. They will never issue one just to allow a parent to get out of paying support.

rockstrzfem · Oct 12, 2009, 04:08 PM

Well she calls him sperm donor, so that's what I call him, sorry if you're offended *shrug*

ScottGem · Oct 12, 2009, 04:17 PM

Originally Posted by rockstrzfem

Well she calls him sperm donor, so that's what I call him, sorry if you're offended *shrug*

You don't get the point. I don't care what your friend calls the father of her child. But we do not tolerate inaccuracy here. A sperm donor is someone who donates his sperm to artificially inseminate a woman. If the woman had sex with this man he is NOT a sperm donor and we will not tolerate him being called one. If your friend messed up by having sex with this person, then that's her problem. She needs to take responsibility for her actions, not try to avoid them.