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Anon88 · Oct 9, 2009, 01:59 AM

Hi everyone!

So here's my situation. The girl (ash) I've always loved is in another relationship. I've known ash for about 5 years now, we kind of dated in the beginning but neither of us wanted to commit because we were still pretty young So just left things quite abruptly. We've kept in contact and gone out with mutual friends now and again but there's always been this attraction between us, For example, we'd subtly flirt, she'd jump into my car when we decide to go to another place or even end up sitting next to each other every time in the movies or at a restaurant.. Etc. Its all good except for the long distance relationship she's in, he (bob) lives 2 hours away by plane then another hour by bus, its in the middle of nowhere! So they see each other every month or 2 but I practically see ash every weekend.. That's how all these feelings have flooded back in! We've been chatting nearly everyday and a few days ago we got onto the subject of me and her dating, she said she was pretty positive that we would work and its true.. What should I do? I don't want to put her in the position where she should choose. Im not that guy who would steal another guy's girl but I'm feeling So hopeless, have no idea what I'm doing with her! What are my options? I really do believe she's the girl I could one day marry!:)

BrentDude33 · Oct 9, 2009, 03:07 AM

If you think that strongly of her that you might one day marry her. I say talk to her about it and see where she stands. Perhaps she is not happy about the distance and maybe she to relizes you two are good together... which if she did say you two would work then... My man I say go for it. Just talk to her though. Be open about your feelings to each other. You just got to find out the situation.

I wish · Oct 9, 2009, 05:51 AM

If you're not the guy who steals gfs away, then stay away from her until your feelings for her have gone anyway. Thnk about it, how would you feel if some guy was all over your girlfriend? The worst part is, if she cheats on her boyfriend, then there's a strong chance that she would cheat on you if you were her boyfriend. So how would you be able to trust her?

You're just torturing yourself by continually talking to her while you still have feelings for her. Because you're just going to over-analyze all the signs and twist it in a way to think that you might have a chance. But the fact remains that she's with someone else. Her heart is with someone else. Don't misinterpret her friendship for something more.

She sounds like a good friend, so I'm sure she'll understand why you need to keep some distance from her so that you can get over her. Once you're over her, I'm sure she'll still be around and you can pick up the friendship from where it left off.

If she doesn't understand this concept, then she's not a very good friend. No friend would want you to continue to suffer.

adam_89 · Oct 9, 2009, 06:06 AM

Yes, While she is with another guy, then she is off limits. If she chooses to break up with him to be with you then you are in the clear. Just don't put the other guy in a mess by hooking up with her while she is still in a relationship with him. I hope things work out for the best.

talaniman · Oct 9, 2009, 06:51 AM

I think that your getting carried away by your strong feelings, and hope for more than you can get. If you can't have just fun, and respect her relationship, then you need to back off.

If she felt the same as you, she would be with you, and not someone else. I suggest you not get so carried away, and just be friends, and have fun, as romance ain't happening.

Anon88 · Oct 9, 2009, 04:33 PM

Thanks for the advice guys. I just wanted to clear something up... Although my strong feelings have an impact on my view, I just want to reiterate that we'd never cheat. But I forgot to mention that we both admitted that when we go out, there's this physical attraction and that we've both pictured it.. We have to keep on telling ourselves that there certain things we can't do..

TrueFaith · Oct 9, 2009, 04:45 PM

Well speaking from a guy that is in A long distance relationship

It is hard. And do you really want to be the guy that steals a girlfriend away? And even if she does say yes.. do you want to have someone that will just up and leave?

You have loved her for 5 years. Let her make her choices. If her current relationship does not work out go for it all the best my friend.
But don't think you should be with her, just because her current boyfriend is so far away.
Respect the relationship, which is what you guys are doing.. if there is an attraction between you guys great.

I personal don't see there relationship lasting to long anyway, long distance is hard on even the most strongest of people.
Most are sadly only as faithful as there options.

The only thing you shouldn't stand for is waisting your time. Don't hang out thinking one day this will happen.
You can't wait around for people to make up there mind.

All the best