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bigim · Sep 29, 2009, 11:40 PM

I used to be really shy when I was young. I moved to america from another country and was made fun of a lot. I think that's when I became shy. Started keeping to myself more. I had to retrain myself to be confident over time. After college I did sales and did OK at it. Eventually I started having panic attacks when speaking in front of people. I would just freeze up. Felt like I couldnt' breathe. Since then, I've left sales, but from time to time I still feel like I'm about to have an attack. I even lectured in front of high school students just to prove to myself that I could fight it. Still, sometimes it feels like I'm going to get really nervous and shut down. I just want to know if someone has overcome anxiety like this without any meds or therapy. I don't want to take any meds, I believe you have to struggle in life, and fight. Meds are a way out to me, I don't want a way out, I want to beat this. Any thoughts...

Clough · Sep 30, 2009, 12:10 AM

Hi, bigim!

I've overcome such an anxiety thing. Hopefully, we'll be on here at the same time to have a discussion about that.

Thanks!

Clough · Oct 2, 2009, 11:12 PM

Hi again, bigim!

Are you still interested in working on your anxiety issue?

Thanks!

CraftyD · Oct 2, 2009, 11:30 PM

In some cases medication winds up being the only alternative. I have anxiety/panic disorder, so I know how crippling it can be. Breathing techniques often help, bit sometimes I have to esot to the meds.

bigim · Oct 5, 2009, 09:10 AM

Hi Clough, yes I still need to work on it.

Clough · Oct 5, 2009, 03:24 PM

Originally Posted by bigim

Hi Clough, yes I still need to work on it.

Then, let's work on it!

Thanks!

bigim · Oct 7, 2009, 09:25 AM

Hi Clough, I never get the chance to be online at the same time as you. Why don't you give me some input here. I've been feeling pretty good lately. I've decided to put forth everything I have to get into a top 20 to 25 mba program. That gives me some direction and confidence. The anxiety is still an issue. I notice I get cold when I'm nervous, I don't know why that happens. Life is OK. I want to be able to speak in front of a crowd without hearing my heart

firmbeliever · Oct 7, 2009, 11:12 AM

bigim,
As you have mentioned that these anxious feelings still happen, could you be more specific as the type of situation that makes you feel this way?

You did mention that you have worked in front of students.
What did you feel when you were doing it? What did you feel after you were done? And the worst thing that you felt that went wrong while you were giving this lecture?

And do these anxieties happen when you are doing other activities?

bigim · Oct 7, 2009, 01:21 PM

Hi firmbeliever, asalamalaikum to you. I usually get anxiety when I'm the center of attention. It happens even around friends sometimes. For example if I'm telling a joke or a story to a group of friends. I guess whenever I feel people are focused on me... I did a lecture in front of high school students right after my panic attack to prove to myself that I could fight through it. I just feel light headed when sometimes. During that lecture I felt light headed but at the same time I was pretty energetic and was able to think quickly. I was very nervous going into it but it was easier as it went along. And I felt good about what I had done afterwards. I didn't think anything went wrong during the lecture. I think I came off articulate and intelligent...
I do get anxiety during other activities too, but its not too bad. For example if I'm playing a sport and the pressure is on me to make a play. Make a free throw, or bowl a strike, I feel anxiety but its usually mild... Hope this paints a picture.

firmbeliever · Oct 7, 2009, 01:47 PM

Salaams bigim,
Sounds like you are pleased with your work during the lecture.
It goes to show that you are a very capable person,especially since you mentioned that you have worked on being more confident by facing your fears.

It seems like you do not want to disappoint your audience or do something to embarrass yourself in front of them.

About the worry during sports activities I think is quite normal as you are under pressure with limited time and your actions depends on being a loss or gain for the team.

Do you worry a lot about what others may think of your actions?
I mean not during the anxiety attacks but later, do you constantly worry about what others may have thought of something you did earlier?Or is this happening only during the period you are in front of an audience?

Also does this make you physically ill?Like upset stomachs or headaches?

I know I am asking a lot of questions,just trying to see if this anxiety is affecting your everyday normal activities.

.

bigim · Oct 7, 2009, 03:52 PM

I don't really worry too much about what others think. Not consiously anyway. I have had people tell me that I expect too much. I am fairly optimistic. I want to be successful. I want a lot. But no I don't really think about what people think of me. So its really only in front of an audience... and I only had one bad attack when I couldn't breathe. Since then when it happens I simply go blank. I can't think. I breath heavy so I just wrap up whatever I'm saying. I don't get physically ill, sometimes I do get cold, start to shiver if I'm really nervous... it limits my normal activities because sometimes I shy away from conversations, debates or arguments just because I feel the anxiety coming... thank you for your help.

Clough · Oct 8, 2009, 12:34 AM

Hi again, bigim!

Working in some way in front of children or the elderly is a way to practice to feel less anxious. They will probably be the most forgiving and easiest audiences to work in front of and for you to be the center of attention. Working in front of children and the elderly contributed in a big way for helping me to feel less anxiety.

How about volunteering to do some work at a school or nursing facility? Maybe put together some programs where you present a topic for learning or just entertainment. Even reading the news and giving your ideas about it so the subjects can understand might help you to practice getting out of the anxiety mode.

Thanks!

bigim · Oct 8, 2009, 01:17 PM

Clough that's a very good idea. And honestly I had not thought about it. That will also work really well for my b-school profile. I'm going to be applying next year and I need more extra cirricular activities. Thank you. That's a big help.

Clough · Oct 8, 2009, 06:10 PM

I'm glad that was helpful to you, bigim! :)

What's b-school, please?

Thanks!

bigim · Oct 8, 2009, 10:53 PM

Business school. I'm planning on getting into a top 20 mba program. Will probably begin applying next year.

Clough · Oct 8, 2009, 10:56 PM

Thanks for the explanation, bigim!

Where are some of the schools located where you might be applying, please?

Thanks!

bigim · Oct 9, 2009, 10:03 AM

I would love to go to a big market like New York or chicago but the schools I'll apply to will be the ones that offer a mba program which is in line with the field of finance that I want to work in. I'm currently researching what fields I would like to work in. I'm currently in insurance, it's a possibility that I'll try to stay in insurance, but I'm also interested in the equity and currency sides. I'll figure out which schools I want to target over the next 1 or 2 months.